Max Collins - The Titanic Murders

The women had already discussed how the becoming, “but in no way young” Mrs. Helen Candee had attracted a harem of middle-aged men, while all agreed that a certain handsome young Swede in the Candee coterie was the likely candidate for the one having the shipboard affair.

And it had been noted that Ben Guggenheim and his mistress had given up on the pretense of traveling separately, and a number of stewards had been heard to address her as “Mrs. Guggenheim.”

“Have either of you seen this John Crafton around the ship?” May asked them casually.

“You mean that rat-faced little bastard with the gold-top cane?” Maggie Brown asked. She was bundled into a pale gray silk dress with black silk cuffs and trim, and a large wide-brimmed black velvet hat with ostrich feathers.

May, who had decided to be amused rather than disgusted by Maggie’s dockworker vocabulary, laughed and said, “I think it’s safe to say we’re talking about the same party.”

Madeline Astor-lovely in a pink silk suit with lilac satin bindings that matched the band and big bow of her wide-brimmed straw hat-leaned close and said, almost whispered, “You know, the little beggar tried to blackmail Jack and me.”

Mrs. Astor meant her Jack, not May’s. (Apparently John Jacob Astor did not require his wife to address him as “Colonel.”)

“No!” May said, sounding genuinely shocked, thinking, This detective work is easy. “He must be trying to blackmail everyone on the ship! He did the same to my Jack and me.”

And May quickly told them about the confrontation between Jack and Crafton, including her husband’s “breakdown,” and how he’d dangled the blackmailer over the balcony-which made Madeline titter, and Maggie squeal with delight.

Maggie, unabashed, turned to Madeline and said, “What d’he have on you, honey? I suppose he was threatenin’ to tell the world that that bun was in your oven ’fore you walked down the aisle.”

Madeline, who seemed quite used to Maggie’s outrageous outbursts, tittered again, saying, “Exactly right. Oh, there was some nonsense about some of Jack’s family’s tenement properties… I didn’t follow that. But this Craft character-”

“Crafton,” Maggie corrected.

“Crafton,” Madeline said, nodding. “Well, he claimed to have documents from the hospital in Paris, where I was examined, that would prove our supposed indiscretions. But it was just a bald-faced fabrication.”

“Crafton was runnin’ a bluff?” Maggie asked.

Madeline nodded. “Maggie, I’m five months pregnant… John and I were married seven months ago. Our child was conceived in wedlock, much as that will disappoint the good people of Newport.”

“So,” Maggie said, eyes glittering with interest, “did the Colonel give the son of a bitch the boot?”

“No, I think he paid him, or anyway is going to.”

“Why?” May asked, astounded.

“It’s just easier that way. Jack is very sensitive right now to criticism, particularly about us. He very much wants to reenter society, and see me accepted… I don’t really care, myself, but it means a lot to Jack.”

“Bunch of snooty high hats,” Maggie snorted, though her apparent disdain for high society didn’t jibe with her obvious desire to join it.

“Do you know Crafton?” May asked Maggie. “Frankly, it sounds like you do.”

Maggie shrugged. “Slick little shrimp approached me, first night I come aboard. Said he wanted to talk to me about a ‘business proposition.’ I didn’t like the look of him, but I said I’d try and work him into my dance card.”

May narrowed her eyes. “But that meeting hasn’t taken place.”

“No, honey, not yet… and I haven’t seen ’im in a while-not today, anyway. How about you, Madeline?”

“I haven’t seen him,” Madeline said, with a little shrug. “I don’t really ever care to see him.”

“Y’suppose he was gonna try to blackmail yours truly?” Maggie asked, pointing a thumb to her formidable bosom.

Teasingly, May asked, “What have you done that you could be blackmailed over?”

Maggie roared. “What haven’t I done?”

Dirty looks from nearby bridge players did not sway Maggie’s enthusiasm, or her volume.

She continued: “Maybe he’s got the goods on me sleeping with a younger man or two… What he doesn’t know is, my husband doesn’t give a ding dong damn. We’re separated, and we like it that way. I don’t look in or under his bed, and he does me the same service.”

An hour later, in their stateroom, May reported all this to her husband, who said, “It doesn’t sound like Maggie Brown would’ve paid Crafton his dirty money.”

“She’s a tough old girl, Jack. I could see her doing it.”

“Smothering Crafton with a pillow?” Futrelle smirked. “Or maybe her bosom.”

May elbowed him, playfully; they were sitting on the couch together in the stateroom parlor.

“You know, I didn’t like her at first,” May said. “But Maggie Brown is a true eccentric, and about as genuine a person as you could hope to meet.”

“In First Class on the Titanic, I’d have to agree with you… Darling, you did well. Very well indeed.”

“Thank you.”

“Better than I did. Madeline Astor told you everything; her husband lied to me.”

May shook her head, no. “Not really. He told you the truth, just not all of it-he was protecting his wife. Don’t you think that’s a noble objective?”

“People have been known to kill for noble objectives.” Futrelle yawned. “We should be freshening up for dinner, soon. I think I’ll run down to the barbershop for a shave.”

“All right-just remember, we’re meeting the Harrises at six-thirty.”

The barbershop, which had two chairs, was right there on C deck, a short stroll from their stateroom, near the aft staircase. The small shop also served as a souvenir stand, offering pennants, postcards and toy life preservers; display cases showed off overpriced pipes and watches and wallets. Stuffed dolls of the Katzenjammer Kids, Happy Hooligan, Buster Brown and other cartoon characters hung from the ceiling, strung up like a comics-page lynching.

Both chairs were filled as the two white-smocked barbers attended their customers; Futrelle settled in on the black leather couch, to wait his turn. There was one patron ahead of him: Hugh Rood.

Crafton’s Smoking Room adversary still had a distinguished look, his dark brown herringbone suit set off nicely by a brown-and-gold striped silk tie with diamond stickpin.

Futrelle introduced himself, and Rood-somewhat warily, it seemed-gave his name and accepted a handshake.

“I’d like to compliment you, sir,” Futrelle said. He spoke softly; the barbers were chatting with their customers, in the time-honored way, and Futrelle could-by keeping his voice down-keep their conversation private.

The handsome, reddish-haired Rood smiled, but his eyes, which were as green as money, seemed wary, confused. “What have I done to deserve a compliment from you, Mr. Futrelle?”

“You did what a lot of us wanted to do-you slapped that bastard Crafton.”

Rood’s face went curiously blank for a moment, then his brow tightened and, scowling, he said, “Nothing less than he deserved.”

“He’s a blackmailer, you know.” Quickly, he told Rood what Crafton had threatened to reveal about him.

“The man’s a cad,” Rood said.

“Might I ask why you slapped him, Mr. Rood? Did he have similar extortion designs, where you were concerned?”

The blank expression returned; then, rather coldly, he said, “Well, that’s my business, isn’t it?”

“Certainly. Forgive my impertinence. I didn’t mean to be rude… Mr. Rood.”