Max Collins: The Hindenburg Murders

With another half bow, Erdmann retreated, joining his two Luftwaffe comrades at a table.

Red-jacketed waiters had begun threading through the dining room, taking orders for, and serving, cocktails-to assuage the restlessness and annoyance of these put-upon passengers.

Charteris ordered a Scotch and water, specifying Peter Dawson, and leaned against a manteled wall, studying his fellow travelers, spotting no apparent Communists or anarchists at all among a group that seemed fairly evenly divided between English speakers-Brits and Americans-and Germans. The author could eavesdrop in these and several other languages, if necessary.

Most shuffled through the indignity of the baggage-check process without much ado, though one little fellow made Charteris’s skirmish pale to insignificance.

Wearing a jaunty golf cap, bow tie, powder-blue suit with matching sweater vest, and blue-and-white shoes, the small figure was at once dapper and clownish. His diminutive stature was emphasized by a gigantic dog on a leash who seemed to obey his master’s every thought, much less command. The brown-and-black Rin Tin Tinish police dog was beautifully groomed and obviously highly trained, sitting and standing and moving through the customs line at seemingly subliminal prompts.

Charteris had seen the man, if not the dog, before, though he couldn’t place him. The round face, the elfin features, reminded the author of comedian Bert Wheeler, of the Wheeler and Woolsey team, and somehow Charteris felt sure the sporty figure was in show business.

The little man, or anyway his dog, had attracted considerable attention, upon their entrance; but man and beast were unassuming enough as they waited on line. Tucked under the arm that controlled the dog’s leash was a paper sack covering a gift-wrapped package, an oblong box probably containing a child’s toy, and in his other hand he carted a good-size, battered blond suitcase haphazardly adorned with decals indicating years of European travel.

But upon reaching the head of the line, the little man with the big dog became a huge problem. The customs officials did not know what to make of the beast, whose master shrugged off their concerns by informing them, in German, that arrangements had been made for Ulla, which was the dog’s name.

The same humorless young Aryan Charteris had encountered did not take kindly to the little man’s dismissive manner. Tickets and passport were reluctantly deemed to be in order; then the customs agent pointed to the paper sack under the man’s arm.

“What is in the box, Mr. Spah?”

“It is a gift for my daughters. Put it under your X-ray machine, but please don’t spoil the gift wrap.”

The young agent took the paper sack from the passenger and, without removing the gift-wrapped box, held it up and shook it.

“Please be careful!”

The agent sneered, ever so faintly, and withdrew the brightly wrapped package and began to tear off the colorful paper, like a greedy child at Christmas. Mr. Spah became agitated, throwing his hands in the air, making eye-rolling expressions of disgust, which his dog noted with stoic indifference-apparently it had seen its master worked up before.

The young agent withdrew the lovely Dresden doll, eyeing it suspiciously; he lifted its lacy skirt and had a peek underneath.

“It’s a girl, dummkopf,” Mr. Spah snapped.

The agent glared at Spah, then carted the doll to the bulky X-ray machine and had a look at its insides. Finally, the doll rudely dumped back into the ruined gift box, the package was handed back to Spah, who clicked his heels together and thrust his arm forward in a parody of the Nazi salute, replacing the sieg heil with a German variation of the Bronx cheer.

That was when Charteris-who was smiling around his dangling cigarette-remembered who the little man was.

The customs agent, embarrassed, infuriated, was glaring at Spah and his dog, clearly trying to decide whether to detain this passenger. Perhaps intimidated by the dog-who could have torn the young Aryan’s throat open, quite easily, a sight Charteris at this stage might have relished-the agent curtly passed the passenger on.

“Ben Dova,” Charteris said, approaching the man and animal, adding in German, “I saw you at the Crystal Palace in London.”

The little man beamed; he had a wide smile that brightened up his entire face, like a switched-on lightbulb. Spah extended his free hand for a shake, which Charteris accepted, once he’d shifted hands with his Scotch and water.

“You prefer English or German?” the little man asked, in the latter.

“English, if you don’t mind,” Charteris said, in that language.

They sat at a small linen-clothed table, the police dog sitting beside his master at a tiny nod of a command.

“‘Ben Dova’ is my stage name,” the little man said, stroking the animal’s neck. His German accent was faint. “I’m Joseph Spah-Joe. And you are?”

“Leslie Charteris.”

Spah’s elfin features bunched in thought. “I’ve heard that name.”

“Perhaps you’ve read a ‘Saint’ story.”

Spah snapped his fingers and his dog looked at him curiously, as if trying to translate that into a command. “The mystery writer. Not a reader myself, but my wife is.”

“From that”-and Charteris nodded toward the unwrapped gift Spah had set on the table-“I deduce your family’s in America. I might have thought you lived in Germany.”

Spah shook his head, his expression one of disgust. “I’m a native of Strasbourg, but I’ve lived in the States for going on twenty years. Long Island.”

“You working that dog into your act?”

The performance Charteris had taken in at the Crystal Palace had consisted of Spah’s rather remarkable rubber-kneed drunk act, the comic acrobat doing various gymnastics with a post as his prop, playing an inebriated playboy in a tux trying to get a light from a gas street lamp.

Scratching the dog’s head, Spah said, “It’s a possibility. I could use a new routine, but first I’ll have to pry him loose from my daughters.”

“German shepherds are beautiful animals.”

“I prefer to call her an Alsatian… though I’m still a German national, my loyalties lie elsewhere.”

“You took a chance, razzing that customs agent. I’ve been told he’s S.S.”

“He can kiss my S.S. I’m never routing through Germany again-no more bookings there, either. Who needs it? I’m at Radio City, starting next week, for a solid month.”

“That’s an impressive engagement. You’re very good, Mr. Spah.”

“‘Joe,’ please, make it ‘Joe.’ You prefer ‘Leslie’ or ‘Les’?”

“‘Leslie,’ I’m afraid. Anyone who’d suffer an affectation like this”-and he gestured to the monocle-“ has to be a ‘Leslie.’”

Spah laughed at that; the police dog was looking at Charteris, too, with what seemed a smile. “How do you keep that hunk of glass in, anyway?”

“Immense concentration and a dab or two of chewing gum. How do you travel with… what’s her name?”

“Ulla,” Spah said, petting the dog. “She’ll be in a ‘kennel basket,’ they call it, a cargo compartment aft of the airship. I’m told they’ve had quite an assortment of animals on the Hindenburg, including antelopes. I only hope I’ll be allowed to see Ulla a few times a day-seems cruel, otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. The way this is going so far, I’d say pampering the passengers has fallen off the Reederei ’s list.”

Deutsche Zeppelin-Reederei was the German name for the Zeppelin Transport Company.

Charteris was finishing up his Scotch and water. “Think I’ll flag down a waiter for another. Can I get you something, Joe?”