R. Morris - A Razor Wrapped in Silk

‘I intend to raise it at our next meeting.’

‘I am glad to hear it, Porfiry Petrovich. As a father, crimes against children trouble me greatly.’

‘With respect, Nikodim Fomich, we have yet to determine for certain that a crime has been committed. You know how it is with missing persons.’

‘Nevertheless, as agents of the state, we stand in loco parentis to all the children of the empire.’

‘You do not need to remind me, Nikodim Fomich.’

‘So,’ insisted Maria Petrovna. ‘What do you intend to do about it?’

‘Well, Nikodim Fomich?’ said Porfiry. ‘Whom can we spare, bearing in mind the Prefect of Police’s exhortation?’

‘What about Pavel Pavlovich?’ put in Maria. ‘I feel sure that if you were to assign him to this investigation, he would pursue it with the greatest of diligence.’

Nikodim Fomich considered the suggestion. ‘Of course, it’s not for me to say. He does not work under my authority. What say you, Porfiry Petrovich?’

‘Yes, by all means.’ Porfiry’s answer came distractedly. There was a hesitant catch in his voice.

‘You will direct him, of course,’ said Nikodim Fomich, as if to appease him.

Porfiry Petrovich appeared not to have heard. He was lost in an extended fit of blinking, at the end of which he flashed the mildest of recriminatory glances towards Maria Petrovna. He could not deny that he was disappointed she had not asked for him.

*

WANTED: EXPERIENCED AND DISCREET MANSERVANT FOR SOLITARY GENTLEMAN. APPLY IN WRITING TO CHIEF CLERK, DEPARTMENT FOR THE INVESTIGATION OF CRIMINAL CAUSES, HAYMARKET DISTRICT POLICE BUREAU, STOLYARNY LANE. REFERENCES REQUIRED.

‘What is this?’

‘The wording,’ said Alexander Grigorevich Zamyotov, with his accustomed terseness.

‘What wording?’

Zamyotov sighed heavily as he snatched the slip of paper back from Porfiry. ‘The wording for the advertisement that is to run in the St Petersburg Gazette . Situations Vacant. Domestics, Male. Nikodim Fomich authorised me to place it. He says that it is widely read, even if it is written by kikes. And he asked me to solicit your approval of the wording.’

‘Nikodim Fomich said nothing of any advertisement to me.’

Zamyotov’s eyes bobbed upwards, just stopping short of rolling.

‘May I see it again?’

Zamyotov clicked his tongue and handed the paper back.

‘I fail to understand why you have so particularly described me as a solitary gentleman.’

‘It is to assure the applicant that his duties will not be onerous. You are not married. You do not have a family. You are one, single, solitary individual. The needs of a solitary gentleman are necessarily rather more limited than those of a family man.’

‘Why is it necessary to give this assurance? Are we not thereby likely to attract lazier applicants?’

‘You do not want to put people off.’

‘But solitary ?’

‘It describes your situation accurately, I think.’

‘I see.’ Porfiry handed the paper back forlornly. ‘When will the advertisement appear?’

‘If you approve the wording, I will take it to the newspaper office myself today and it will run in tomorrow’s edition. Nikodim Fomich is keen to find a suitable person as soon as possible. He is concerned that your unsettled domestic arrangements are distracting you from the efficient execution of your official duties.’

‘He has said nothing of the sort to me.’

‘I take it you are satisfied with the wording?’

‘Delete solitary.’

Zamyotov sucked air through his teeth. ‘If you insist.’

‘I do.’

‘Will you wish to interview the applicants?’

‘I am far too busy for that. I shall leave it to you. I will meet with your selected candidate and, provided he meets my approval, the position shall be his.’ Turning his attention to a case file, Porfiry added in an undertone: ‘How difficult can it be to hire a servant?’

Zamyotov tilted his head into a look of affront, then turned sharply out of the room.

The gatekeeper at the Nevsky Cotton-Spinning Factory deflected Virginsky’s enquiries with an impervious shrug. His eyes carefully avoided the young magistrate’s, though there was no doubt he took in everything about his interlocutor with a sly, sidelong watchfulness. He was inordinately preoccupied in tending the precarious glimmer of his clay pipe, with which he produced industrial quantities of pungent smoke. It was as if he saw this as the foremost of his duties, from which he could not be distracted, and for which he was confident of a handsome reward. He stood in the wooden lodge at the entrance to the yard, possessing it with a wide stance and a portly, padded body; behind him, a number of massive keys were hung on numbered hooks, their weight and scale attesting to the importance of his office. His head was sunk low into the collar of his great coat, as if it was making ready to withdraw completely into the worsted carapace should the questioning get too sticky.

All of a sudden, for no reason, he gave a high, wheezing laugh, devoid of humour. ‘Yes, I know that one. But you won’t find him around here, your honour .’ He gave the respectful address an unnecessary emphasis. His eyes glinted coldly. ‘He’s done a bunk, has that one.’

‘Thank you. I am aware that Mitka has gone missing. I’m trying to ascertain what has become of him. When was the last time you saw him?’

‘The last time I saw him? There’s no good asking me a question like that! How can I be expected to know when the last time I saw him was? Though I can remember the first day I didn’t see him.’ The gatekeeper’s high-pitched laughter broke down into a fit of coughing. Tears of delight at his own wit trickled from his eyes.

‘Very well, tell me about the first day you did not see him,’ said Virginsky flatly.

‘It was a foggy day, you see. Or rather, you didn’t see. I didn’t see no one, hardly, that day.’ After a long pause, the gatekeeper added, his sarcasm not in doubt this time: ‘Your honour.’

‘A foggy day. Very droll. But the date? Can you remember the date?’

‘I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face so there was no chance seeing the almanac.’

‘Approximately how long ago would this have been? A week, two weeks, one month?’

‘Yes, that’s right, your honour. A week, two weeks, one month.’

‘I have to tell you that your answers are not at all helpful.’

‘I’m not too keen on your questions, if it comes to that.’

‘A child has gone missing. Are you not concerned to help us find him?’

‘That one’s no concern of mine. I knew he would come to no good.’

‘Why do you say that? Was he a trouble-maker?’

‘He had the makings of being a trouble-maker, let’s put it like that. He was filling his head with nonsense, that’s what he was doing.’

‘You’re talking about the school he was attending?’

‘What need had he to attend school? What good would it do him ?’

As he considered the question, Virginsky looked away from the gatekeeper, towards the towering presence of the factory. The day’s light was crystal-sharp, and in its stark autumnal glare, the factory’s most oppressive aspect was revealed to be its drabness. It seemed to absorb whatever light was cast upon it with a sullen greed, giving nothing back, only the dense dark smoke puffing relentlessly from its chimneys. Virginsky found his answer in the prospect. ‘What good, do you say? It might get him away from this place.’

‘Well then, what’s the fuss about, your honour? I mean to say, if the point of book-learning was to get him away from here, then it seems to have succeeded tremendously.’