Marilyn Todd - Virgin Territory

Munching on her pie and careless of where the gravy dribbled, Claudia gestured over a litter. If that marblehead thought she was accustomed to walking up and down wharfs, he was very much mistaken. Where she came from, ladies travelled in vehicles which reflected their station in life.

Heaving Drusilla and her family into the litter and wiping her greasy hands on a cushion, she began to have serious misgivings about this whole wretched enterprise. What sort of family were the Collatinuses, for heaven’s sake, expecting their womenfolk to walk ? Before instructing the bearers to move on, she prayed to whatever spurious gods they worshipped in this isolated land that it was simply Fabius who was unused to a civilian lifestyle. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck with a family of misers!

‘One other thing, Fabius.’ She poked her head through the curtains as the litter came alongside.

‘Oh?’ There was more than a hint of concern in his voice.

‘Mmm. The woman at your elbow. That’s your sister, Sabina. Since you forgot to ask…’

Despite the innkeeper having only one eye, Claudia could not really fault the establishment. It was neither verminous nor damp, which was more than you could say for most city taverns, and was far less of a fire hazard than it appeared from the outside.

Within seconds of Claudia returning from dinner feeling a whole new woman now the incrustations of salt had been scraped away, there was a knock on her door. The wine-

‘Hi! Remember me?’

The fuzz of red hair and Sicilian burr were unmistakable. Claudia slammed the door, wondering whether the fortune teller’s eager face would pull back before woodwork actually connected with nose, but a hand shot out of the blackness and the door bounced off it. Well, not a hand, really. More a paw. And a damned big one at that.

Claudia’s eyes followed it up the arm to the gorilla on the other end. Really, she thought. If she hadn’t seen it for herself, she’d never have believed life could be that cruel.

‘That’s Utti,’ the redhead explained. ‘He’s my brother.’

‘How lovely for you.’ Claudia found the door wouldn’t budge. She pointed to the ham propping it open. ‘Would you mind?’

‘Huh?’

It speaks, it speaks.

‘The door, Utti. Would you please remove your grubby fist.’

‘Uh…’ It glanced down at the redhead, who was dwarfed by its presence.

‘No, wait!’ It was more of a plea. ‘You’re in danger, great danger-’

‘So are you. There are four tough guys standing right behind you.’

The redhead smiled cheerfully. ‘No problem,’ she said. ‘Utti’s a wrestler.’

Claudia’s bodyguard, no slouches themselves, would be no match for a good professional. ‘Come to the point,’ she snapped.

The girl’s face took on a pained expression, about as genuine as her hair and her bosom. ‘There’s no point to come to. You’re in danger, and we’re here to help. Oh, I’m Tanaquil, by the way.’

‘And I’m very sorry. Now run along, there’s a good girl.’

Utti had been forced to remove his hand when he turned to face out the bodyguard, so Claudia smartly shut the door. Almost immediately there was a second knock.

‘What?’ She flung it open.

A struggle was in progress, in which three men had been pinned to the ground-and Utti wasn’t one of them. Tanaquil seemed totally oblivious to the clouds of dust and flying furniture, to the shouts and the grunts and the blood.

‘You’re going to Sullium, aren’t you? Well, I told you I saw a ram’s head. Eugenius Collatinus is in wool, isn’t he?’

Is he? Since Sicily was one of the four great granaries of Rome, Claudia had blithely assumed he was in wheat.

‘Fabius said so,’ Tanaquil continued happily. ‘And he also says his grandfather is planning a wedding for Sabina, so you must believe me now!’

Claudia wrenched her eyes off Utti, who was kneeling on Junius’s stomach and punching one of the Nubians while he kicked at the other. Idly she wondered whether he’d noticed the Cilician, Kleon, clinging to his back.

‘Tanaquil,’ she said calmly, ‘I don’t care whether you spend your leisure hours staring into the future or staring into the bottom of an empty wine glass. I neither want nor need the services of a fortune teller.’

The redhead wagged a playful finger. ‘That’s what you think,’ she said, ‘but don’t worry, you’ll hardly know I’m about.’

Claudia winced as Kleon dug his fingers into Utti’s eyes, then winced harder as Utti casually shook him off like an old cloak and the boy went bouncing down the staircase.

‘Even Utti will be on his best behaviour.’

‘He’s not behaving very nicely with my bodyguard.’

Tanaquil turned round. ‘Oh, is that who they are? Sorry.’ She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. ‘Utti, they’re friends,’ she said. ‘Friends. Yes. Put them down.’

The gorilla’s mouth formed a wide O and he clambered to his feet, pulling Junius up with one hand and one of the Nubians with the other. The second Nubian was still unconscious. All five were covered with blood.

‘Horry.’

Claudia mouthed, ‘Cleft palate?’

‘Broken nose, but don’t worry, he’s used to it.’

‘Obviously. Well, goodbye, dear. Goodbye, Utti. Pleasure to have met you both.’

The big ugly lump smiled so broadly you could see both his teeth. ‘Bye!’

‘Not goodbye, silly, good night !’

Irrepressible little thing, wasn’t she?

Tanaquil leaned towards Claudia. ‘He’s ever so excited about meeting the family. We’ve never stayed with posh people before.’

‘Then he’s in for a big disappointment. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. You’re not coming with me.’

This was not open to discussion. Claudia slammed the door shut and leaned her weight against it until all went quiet on the landing, then she threw herself down on the couch.

Straight away there was a rat-a-tat-tat.

Heaven help us. ‘Go away.’

A second, louder rap followed.

‘Can’t you get it through your thick skull you’re not wanted. Now GO AWAY!’

After half an hour she decided she’d waited long enough. ‘Landlord, where’s the wine I ordered?’

He shrugged. ‘I sent it up.’

‘Lie to me once again, you thieving vermin, and I’ll poke your other eye out.’

He had an odd sense of humour, finding that funny. ‘Gods’ honour,’ he said. ‘Dodger took it.’

‘I did.’ A small, swarthy, bandy-legged Sicilian came stumping up. ‘You sent me away,’ he said accusingly. ‘Twice.’

‘Don’t try to wriggle out of it!’ Claudia fixed him with a scowl. Small wonder they called him Dodger. ‘Just fetch the wine.’

Across the room, Drusilla extricated herself from the heaving mass of kittenhood and stretched every joint to its limit before making her way over to Claudia. She’d spent the last leg of the voyage sprawled on her side in a haze of pure bliss as four minuscule bundles of fur sucked and squeaked and snuggled and dozed-but now, like all good mothers, she recognized you could take only so much of a good thing.

‘I saved you a lump of boiled calf, poppet.’ Claudia broke the cold meat into pieces and fed them to her one at a time. ‘Tougher than we’re used to, but for a busy tavern it’s not too bad.’

When Drusilla had eaten her fill, Claudia began stroking the cat’s dark brown, glossy coat. ‘You heard the outcome, I suppose?’

‘Prrr.’

‘Exactly. Talk about lumbered!’

Tanaquil had lost no time in ingratiating herself with Sabina and had now wormed her way into going to Sullium.