Marilyn Todd - I, Claudia

‘The effects have worn off faster than one calculated.’

The clinical assessment sent a shiver down Claudia’s spine. She composed her features into a show of nonchalance as though this were normal behaviour something she did every Wednesday and occasionally on a Friday if the moon was full.

‘I’m a quick healer. Why’s the floor two cubits deep with rose petals?’

Once he’d got all five candles burning, Balbus wove his way towards the couch. Difficult to believe this creep was still in his early thirties. Or that he won’t be as weak as he looks.

‘Cleopatra would seduce her men knee deep in them.’

Vulgar little trollop.

‘Thus I decided to honour you in the same tradition and then tomorrow, when one’s work is fully complete, we can repair to Asculum. I have purchased the most delightful villa not far from the town which I believe you will find perfectly amenable. Privacy is naturally guaranteed and-’

‘Are you off your chump? I’m not going with you to any poxy villa, Balbus, not now, not ever.’

He looked like a puppy who’d been kicked for chewing a shoe. ‘A wife is duty-bound to obey her husband, Claudia. I protect you and in return you obey me. It is the law,’ he added without the slightest hint of deprecation in his voice.

‘Bugger the law. Let me go.’

The bland features looked affronted. ‘Your place is with me now. We shall consummate our marriage in the privacy of this shrine, although, alas,’ the boiled gooseberries lit up as they skimmed over her body, ‘one’s commitments prevent one from doing justice at present. We shall need to savour the moment, Claudia, but I do not think you shall find me wanting in that respect.’

‘Balbus, I find you wanting in every respect, and I’d sooner chain myself to a rotting corpse than marry you.’ It was a mistake. She realized the instant she’d spat the words out. The colour drained from his face, there was a tautness around the mouth, a fanatical glint in his eye which was mesmerizing.

‘You will marry me, Claudia.’ He leaned closer. ‘Say it.’

She felt a surge of defiance. ‘Don’t be absurd.’

The blow to her cheekbone came out of nowhere, slamming her head round as far as it would go and sending pain soaring through her left eye.

‘I proposed to you in your room and you turned me down. Are you refusing me again?’

There was a roaring in her skull, a throbbing down the left side of her face and Claudia could taste blood in her mouth. Probably from where she’d bitten her lip. It should be so easy to say yes to this maniac, she thought. ‘Never.’

She braced herself for a second backhander. Instead, Balbus grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her off the couch so violently she saw double.

‘One more chance, Claudia.’ There were two high spots of colour in his cheeks. ‘Will you do me the honour of taking my hand in marriage?’

‘Go to hell.’ The second blow knocked her breath away and she felt his ring slice her cheek. As her head fell backwards, blood, warm and runny, dribbled down her jawline. Drip, drip, drip down her neck, slithering over her shoulderblade to form a damp patch on the wool. The wool was red, the same colour as her blood, and the blood didn’t show. It just spread and spread. How many others’ blood had spilled on to this couch? And what happened to them? She fought back the panic and in doing so made one small triumphant discovery. Ventidius Balbus hadn’t taken every pin out of her hair. Right now, that jab of pain behind her right ear was as welcome as a cold bath on a hot day.

She thought of Otho. A brute of a man, yet even Otho could be reasoned with. It was difficult to see what logic you could use with a man like Balbus, other than to keep on agreeing with him. With one cheek throbbing and the other puffing up like a dead fish, Claudia wondered how many ‘wives’ he’d brought down here.

‘Very well, Balbus. I accept your proposal of marriage.’ Nothing. No reaction. Nothing at all.

Maybe he couldn’t understand her through the split lip? She swallowed, ready to try again, then saw he was staring into space with a strange smile on his face. When she realized the source of his pleasure-the blood he was licking off his knuckles-the hairs on the back of her neck began to rise. As assiduously as any cat he followed the trails with his tongue. Down the back of his hand, in between his fingers. Slowly, sensuously, careful not to miss any. She dared not break the spell by speaking. When he was sure he’d licked away every drop of blood, he drew a small knife from his waistband. Claudia sucked in her breath. Expertly he slit through the thin cotton of her breast band and pulled it away. She heard his breath come out in a hiss.

‘You have publicly given your body to me, Claudia.’

‘I…have?’ Bats squeak louder than that.

‘At the races on Monday, after the Festival of Consus, I sent you a letter. Unsigned, yet you knew it was from me, didn’t you, Claudia? And in front of thousands, you surrendered your body to me in a supreme gesture of sensuality.’

Never mind I tore the letter up. In front of thousands. ‘Yes.’

‘Because you love me.’ Balbus leaned over and ran one clammy hand over the flat of her stomach.

‘Yes.’ She could barely form the word.

The hand moved upwards to circle her breast. Dead meat on her flesh.

In the wavering candlelight. Claudia found herself staring at the menace of the blade in his other hand. Balbus seemed to have forgotten about it, but the knife lay only inches from Claudia’s throat. She tried to remind herself of what she’d said earlier, that it was only her fear which fed his power, yet she couldn’t break the barrier. He had tied her hand and foot, she was as helpless-and powerless-as a kitten. Resistance had resulted in violence. Further resistance would only result in more violence, and who could imagine the boundaries of this man’s brutality? He stopped kneading her breast and the knife disappeared from view. Wide-eyed, she watched him, with one swift flick of the wrist, slice through her thong and press it to his lips. Claudia couldn’t quell the shudder of revulsion that shook her body. Half of her wanted him to take her and get it over with. The other half, the logical half, told her that would only be the start…

Suddenly the knife came flying through the air towards her. Her eyes snapped shut. Every muscle tensed. The blade cracked into the couch’s frame. When she dared to open her eyes, Balbus’s face was a finger’s width from hers. Contorted with hatred.

‘You won’t take lovers when we’re married.’

She was shaking from head to foot, she couldn’t help it, and her teeth were chattering. The blade was wrested from the wood.

His lip curled. ‘I said, you won’t take lovers when we’re married, do you understand?’

‘Yes. No.’ She was confused by the ambiguity of the statement. ‘I…I won’t take lovers.’ Sweat poured off her body and, heaven help her she was this close to the ultimate humiliation of wetting herself.

He laid the flat of the blade against her cheek, the one which absorbed the first blow, and Claudia couldn’t prevent herself flinching. Slowly it traced the arch of her neck, the cold metal skimming unhurriedly over the ridge of her collarbone and down her breast. When it hesitated over her nipple, Claudia stopped breathing. Jaws clamped tight, she felt the blade glide over her stomach to follow the gentle contours until finally it came to rest between her legs. He didn’t intend to kill her. At least not yet. But-

‘Please, Balbus…’ It was barely audible. ‘Please don’t hurt me.’

She didn’t mean to say it. In a moment of weakness, it slipped out, the worst possible thing she could have done. To plead. To fuel his power by showing her naked fear. Already her body was quaking like an aspen in a high wind while her teeth chattered uncontrollably. This pathetic whimper should just about seal it. To her astonishment, his eyes widened.