Candace Robb - A Trust Betrayed

The Mass bell rang as they were halfway up the hill. Margaret gathered her skirts in her hands and walked faster. Celia tried to keep up, but eventually fell back, complaining that she was out of breath. Ignoring her, Margaret arrived at the kirk door, tidied herself, and slipped in. She hurried to join the worshippers standing toward the choir, where the rood screen separated them from the clergy. Celia limped to her side a moment later.

Her fellows numbered less than on a typical day in St. John’s, her kirk in Perth, and far fewer than in the abbey at Dunfermline. From the crowd in the tavern the previous evening, Margaret had expected more. Perhaps the folk who stayed in town preferred to get their courage from ale, not prayer.

The singing calmed her, as if the voices moved through her. She bowed her head, prayed for God’s help for her mission, for Roger’s safety, and for Jack’s soul. For Katherine, her goodmother, who must be feeling quite alone with Margaret and Celia away. There were other servants in the house, but none with whom her goodmother might talk about her grieving for Jack. Fifteen years Roger’s junior, Jack had been a comfort to Katherine when her own son had gone out into the world. Though Jack had been living in Perth the past six years as Roger’s factor, he had not forgotten the aunt who raised him, returning to Dunfermline for feast days several times a year.

Margaret fought past the memory of Jack’s corpse, back to an evening a few months past. He had arrived at her house to dine, his cheeks bright from the cold, his blond hair glistening with melting snowflakes. When the maid left them to take Jack’s cloak to the kitchen to dry, he had grabbed Margaret’s hand, holding it for a long moment with his head bent to it. She remembered the feel of his breath tickling her. She had been in a reckless mood and had let him take his time kissing her hand. He had been so close she could smell wood shavings from the warehouse on his boots and wine on his breath.

“You opened a shipment of wine and brought none for me?” she had teased when he at last let go of her hand.

When Roger was away Jack dined with Margaret on Saturdays and told her how the business was going. What merchandise had arrived from Germany or the Lowlands-wine, finished wool cloth, pottery, how much wool and leather goods they were shipping out. She enjoyed the dinners, feeling more a part of Roger’s business than when he was at home.

It was after Martinmas that she had begun to notice how often she thought of Jack, and how she looked forward to Saturdays, fussing over her dress, helping the cook make Jack’s favorite dishes. He was a handsome man with a cheerful humor who appreciated her intelligence. And yet he could be an exasperating tease; he enjoyed the effect he had on her as he did all women. She should not have encouraged his attentions. But it was difficult to separate all her feelings for him into proper and improper. She had not wished to offend him; she valued him too much as a good and loyal friend. And truth be told, she had enjoyed being appreciated as a desirable woman.

She fought the vision of his bloated body in the shroud, the horrible wounds. Holy Mother of God, Roger must be alive. They must be given a chance to have children, to have joy of each other. They had been separated so often she felt she had only begun to know Roger, only just stopped being tongue-tied and in awe of him.

Margaret did not know what would become of her if her search led to a corpse. Her father was in Bruges, her mother at Elcho Nunnery, Andrew in the Kirk, Fergus so young. Her heart lurched as a new fear arose. If Jack’s murder had any connection with Roger’s trading, Fergus might be in danger, all alone in Perth. Sweet Jesus, watch over Fergus. Help him know his enemies.

But none were safe with Edward Longshanks set on claiming the kingdom of Scotland. All knew how the Welsh had suffered. Many Scots had fought on Longshanks’s side in that slaughter. She had heard it whispered that it was God’s retribution for that they were now slaughtered in turn. But the dead of Berwick had been traders, merchants, not soldiers. And the English went unpunished. Folk said Longshanks was old now, and bitter with disappointment in his heir, which made him cruel. Dear Lord, let him die and his weak son turn his eyes inward, give up this battering of Lothian, the humiliation of our king, John Balliol.

And bring Roger home. Her greatest fear was of being left alone, penniless and with an overwhelming grief, of use to no one and without even the means to withdraw into a nunnery. I am too young for this, Lord, I’ve had no life yet. Foolish prayer. Babies died every day. And young mothers. Who was she to expect any different treatment from God?

She glanced round at her fellow worshippers. The English lived in their midst now. She wondered what their thoughts were this morning. The man with the scab on his bald pate. Wa’s he mourning someone killed in the fighting, praying for deliverance from the English, or merely trying to keep himself from scratching the tender spot? What of the woman in the fine mantle beside her? She kept her eyes down, but her hands moved as if she were examining them. They looked swollen, much like Margaret’s did after laundry day. The mantle must be her finest. Such delicate wool, woven loosely. Not warm, but lovely. The gown beneath the mantle was difficult to make out in the dim light.

Someone behind Margaret stank of urine, no doubt a cure for boils or foot ulcers. A woman muttered her prayers accompanied by gentle clicking sounds-she must have Paternoster beads. That is what Margaret should have done to keep her mind on her prayers. She reached into the scrip she wore on her girdle; her fingers touched the loom weight among the beads. Such a light weight might be used to add to a weight that did not quite balance with its opposite. It might also be used for fine work. Like the mantle she had been admiring.

As people began to take their leave, Margaret turned to look at the woman beside her. Her profile and her walk pricked a memory, but Margaret could not place her.

“I could not help but notice your mantle,” said Margaret.

Never meeting her gaze, the woman turned and hastened away.

“And why would anyone talk to a stranger with things as they are in the town?” Celia said.

Indeed. But if someone had spoken thus to Margaret she would have been too curious to resist a glance in their direction.

Outside St. Giles a fog had moved in from the firth, rounding the corners of buildings, foreshortening the street. Margaret paused to get her bearings. Gradually the worshippers disappeared and the two women were alone but for the sweeper they had passed earlier, who had covered much distance since they had climbed the hill.

“Does he sweep all the town?” Margaret wondered aloud.

“I believe he is watching us,” Celia said as she looked the other way.

“Let us disappoint him with a brisk walk back to the inn.”

Margaret’s spine tingled as they neared the man. She could not resist a “God bless you” as she passed him.

“Bless ‘e,” the man muttered.

The exchange calmed her. He might be precisely what he seemed, a street sweeper. She must not let the atmosphere in the town frighten her.

“St. Columba!” Celia cried as she tripped, pitching forward into a puddle.

Margaret reached out to help her up, but Celia waved her away. “You will muddy your sleeves.”

The woman was mad worrying about another’s clothing when she was on her hands and knees in a puddle. Margaret grabbed Celia by the waist and supported her as she rose.

“I stumbled on a rock,” Celia muttered.

Margaret guessed that the maid’s stiffness from the previous day’s ride had caused her to stumble over her own skirt.