Alys Clare: Out of the Dawn Light

I did. I danced with him, with several others — boys, girls, women, men — and then with the first boy again. He was spinning me round in a vigorous circle and I was just thinking that he wasn’t bad looking if you ignored the pimples on his forehead and the distinct lack of a chin when someone broke us apart, said, ‘My turn, I think,’ and I looked up into the handsome, smiling face of Romain.

I stared at him with my mouth open. His hair shone just as I remembered and his expensive garments, tonight covered by a worn cloak of indeterminate colour, stood out in this company of the lowly like a ruby on a midden.

‘You don’t live here!’ I gasped, totally lost for any more intelligent comment.

‘No,’ he agreed, dancing along with the rest, his hand tightly clutching mine and pumping it up and down as if he were drawing water. ‘But I’m sure you’re glad to see me, all the same!’

‘I am, oh, I am!’ I agreed fervently. ‘I’ve been looking after my sister — you know, the one whose wedding you came to.’

‘Oh — er, yes.’

Of course, I reminded myself, he didn’t know Goda, he was from Cerdic’s side. He was a friend of my brother-in-law, which, naturally, must be why he was here now. This put me in an awkward position. I hadn’t seen Cerdic at the feast and, as I’ve said, I had a pretty good idea where he was. But if I told Romain, for one thing it might reveal more about the state of my sister’s marriage than ought to be revealed to an outsider and for another, Romain might well go off to find Cerdic and therefore stop dancing with me.

I said nothing.

We danced on — he was very good, light on his feet and as practised in the steps of the old dances as any of the villagers — and presently I noticed that he had guided me to the edge of the clearing where the surrounding trees cast deep shadows.

Was this deliberate? Did he want to be alone with me in the darkness? Did he want to kiss me?

The thought was both thrilling and alarming. Nobody had kissed me like that before. I was young for my age — all my female relatives kept saying so — and my body was boyishly straight. The sensible part of my mind had already worked out that Romain must have something other than sex in mind when abruptly he stopped dancing, dragged me to a halt beside him and, ducking down beneath the trees, whispered, ‘There’s someone else here who wants to see you.’

My sweet and short-lived little fantasy of collapsing into Romain’s strong and manly arms as his firm mouth found mine gave a wave of its flirtatious hand and melted away.

I followed Romain through the undergrowth. I had no choice, for he had hold of my wrist and I could not break away. He moved quickly and, afraid that my beautiful shawl would be snagged on a bramble and spoiled, I said quite sharply, ‘Slow down!’

To my great surprise, for he seemed preoccupied and intent, he did. Then, after progressing more decorously through the thin woodland for perhaps another hundred paces, we emerged into an open space where a shallow stream ran over stones. Somebody was there, leaning against a tree. He stepped forward into the moonlight and I saw that it was Sibert.

We had not parted on good terms. I said rudely, ‘What do you want?’

He gave a guilty smile, just like Squeak when he’s been found out in some bit of mischief he thought he’d got away with. ‘Now, Lassair, don’t be unkind,’ he began, holding out his hands palm down and patting at the air as if by so doing he would soothe me out of my anger. ‘You-’

‘I thought you were my friend,’ I shouted, ignoring his protest, ‘and did you come to see me when I was told I had to come and look after Goda? Did you sympathize and promise that you’d come to visit me in my exile, if you were allowed to? Did you even bother to say goodbye?’

‘I-’

‘ No you didn’t! ’ I answered for him, at a considerably higher volume than he would have done. ‘You were barely speaking to me at Goda’s wedding and afterwards you — you — disappeared , and I didn’t know if I’d offended you or if it wasn’t just me and you were cross with the whole world, and you never gave me the chance to find out because every time I saw you, you ran away!’

I stopped, listening to the echoes of my furious words on the still air. Goodness, I hadn’t realized how much his defection had hurt me and now, oh, no , now I’d blurted it out and neither of us could be in any doubt at all.

I felt deeply embarrassed. I felt the hot blood flush up into my face and was very glad of the darkness. All cats are grey in the dark, they say, and hopefully, by the same token, all faces too.

After a moment Romain cleared his throat and said diplomatically, ‘Er, actually, Lassair, I’m afraid it’s all my fault.’

I spun round to face him. ‘All what?’ I demanded.

‘Um — Sibert’s preoccupation. His disappearance.’

Disappearance? I was puzzled. ‘You mean he left the village? He left Aelf Fen, with you, and that’s why I didn’t see him?’ No, that couldn’t be right, because I had seen Sibert once or twice, but he had refused to meet my eyes or speak to me.

‘No,’ Romain said. He took a deep breath and then went on, ‘I have asked Sibert to do something for — I should say, with me. We are’ — he paused and shot a glance at Sibert — ‘conspirators. Accomplices.’

‘ Oh ,’ I breathed. It sounded alarming. Intriguing. Exciting. I thought they had better explain. ‘What exactly do you mean?’

Again, Romain sent that quick glance at Sibert. I could have been mistaken — the only light, after all, was from the moon and the stars — but I thought I saw Romain give a tiny nod. Probably I did, because it was Sibert who spoke.

‘Romain and I have much in common,’ he began pompously, and I almost laughed because, as far as I was concerned, they could not have been more different and all that united them was their age, although Romain was maybe two or three years older. ‘You don’t understand,’ Sibert was hurrying on huffily, as if he’d sensed my reaction, ‘but it is the truth. We have decided to combine our efforts to achieve a certain clandestine purpose, and it is profoundly in both our interests to do so.’

He was speaking, but the words did not make much sense. Furthermore, they did not sound like Sibert’s natural speech. I’d never heard him use words like clandestine and profoundly and I was almost sure that, although Sibert was doing the talking, Romain had told him what to say.

‘So what is this great purpose?’ I asked, not disguising the sarcasm. ‘What is it going to gain and why’ — I really ought to have asked this first — ‘are you telling me?’

‘The purpose involves a search,’ Romain said smoothly. ‘I know the rough location where the search must be carried out and Sibert knows about the — er, the object of the search. It is quite possible, indeed likely, that we will find what we seek ourselves. However, Sibert has told me that you have a very particular talent, and so we thought it was worthwhile approaching you to see if you would care to help us.’

‘I’m a dowser,’ I said shortly. I was becoming tired of his flowery way of speaking.

‘Yes, I know.’ He gave me a beaming smile. ‘So, would you like to help us?’

My suspicions were growing. He was making it sound as if it would be quite useful to have me along, although far from essential. Yet he had started to sweat and the muscles of his jaw were working and I knew that a great deal depended on my answer.

I knew I was going to say yes. Whatever this business was all about, it was just too enticing to refuse. But I decided to make them wait.