Alys Clare - Ashes of the Elements

‘Of course!’ He looked surprised. ‘I hadn’t expected anything else, Abbess. Apart from any other considerations,’ he added with a grin, ‘you’re likely to get far more out of them than if I’m there looming behind you.’

* * *

Helewise walked off in the direction of the retirement home, leaving Josse to fetch his horse and set out to find out anything more that there was to find about Ewen. He said he would return via the forest, and have a good look in daylight at the scene of the killing.

Helewise composed her thoughts and put herself in the right frame of mind for questioning Esyllt.

Entering the retirement home, she was impressed, as always, by both the calm, contented atmosphere and by the scent of flowers. It was, in her experience, rare for the elderly to be housed in a place where either of those conditions prevailed, never mind both of them.

But, then, other old people were not lucky enough to be cared for by Sister Emanuel. Who now, observing her superior’s quiet entry, came gliding to greet her, making the usual reverence with a simple grace.

‘Good morning, Sister Emanuel,’ Helewise said softly.

‘Good morning, Abbess.’ Sister Emanuel’s voice was low and mellow, and, even when she was issuing commands or speaking up so that some deaf old soul could hear, she never became strident. It was not so much that she insisted others spoke gently when they entered her domain, more that they automatically adopted Sister Emanuel’s own custom because it was considerate and kind. And it made sense.

‘Is it a convenient moment for me to speak to Esyllt?’ the Abbess asked as, side by side, she and the sister walked slowly down the long room. On either side were narrow cots, bearing ample bedding for cold old bodies, and each with its own little table for the placing of treasured mementos. The cots were divided by hangings, so as to give a measure of privacy, but, around most of the beds, the hangings were now neatly tied back. With a few exceptions, the old people were up, dressed and either sitting at the large table at the far end of the room, or else taking a turn in the warm sunshine outside.

‘Esyllt,’ Sister Emanuel said after a pause, ‘is perfectly ready to speak to you, Abbess. When Sister Euphemia brought her back here last night — well, it was very early this morning, in fact, a couple of hours before Prime — the girl had been largely restored by her ministrations. Certainly, she had been cleaned up and dressed in fresh clothes.’ She gave a sudden sound of distress. ‘I understand Esyllt had knelt down by the body, and was covered in blood. Terrible.’

‘Terrible indeed,’ Helewise agreed. ‘Did she manage to sleep?’

‘Yes, I believe so. I looked in on her on my way out to go to Prime, and she seemed to be asleep then.’

‘You had a disturbed night,’ Helewise remarked.

‘I am quite used to that, thank you, Abbess.’

‘What is Esyllt doing now?’

‘She is laundering bedding. Although she is very good with the old people, always patient and kind, with a smile and a pleasantry for those who respond to such things, I did feel that, today, with all that she must have on her mind, it would be better to keep her segregated.’

‘Quite.’ And that consideration, Helewise was sure, was for the old people’s benefit more than for Esyllt’s. ‘She is out in the wash room?’

‘She is.’ Silently, with a small bow, Sister Emanuel stepped in front of the Abbess and opened the door of a small lean-to where there were large stone vessels for the washing of garments and bedding, and smaller jars of fresh water. There was a hearth in which a well-stoked fire was burning, over which was suspended a pot of hot water.

Sister Emanuel pointed to the figure of the girl, bent over the wash tub, sleeves rolled up to reveal strongly muscled arms, scrubbing hard. Helewise nodded her thanks, and Sister Emanuel departed, closing the door behind her.

The little room was very hot. It was a warm morning, and the fire plus the steam from the boiling water had raised the temperature by many degrees. Esyllt, as might be expected, was sweating freely as she went about her work. And, unusual for her, she wasn’t singing.

‘Hello, Esyllt,’ Helewise said.

The girl jumped, dropped her washing in the tub and spun round. Her expression was difficult to read, but, before she had wiped it away and replaced it with a smile of welcome, Helewise had thought she looked guilty.

‘Good morning, Abbess.’ Esyllt put up a wet hand and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

‘Shall we step outside?’ Helewise suggested.

Esyllt smiled briefly. ‘Yes. It’s a bit close in here, isn’t it?’

‘You have been working hard,’ Helewise observed as, outside the lean-to, she noticed several freshly washed items hanging out to dry.

‘Yes.’ Esyllt led the way to one of the benches used by the old people, and, waiting while Helewise seated herself, then sat down beside her. ‘Sister Emanuel is very wise, she believes hard labour is a good medicine for — well, for what I’m suffering from.’

It was said without self-pity. But, nevertheless, it was with concern that Helewise asked gently, ‘And what is that, Esyllt?’

Esyllt’s dark eyes met hers. ‘I can’t exactly tell you, Abbess.’

‘But, Esyllt, you-’

Esyllt put out a hand. ‘Abbess, you’re going to ask me what I was doing out in the forest last night, since, if I’d been tucked up here like I should have been, then that poor man wouldn’t have … I mean, I wouldn’t have seen … what I saw.’ She turned to face the Abbess, expression intense. ‘I was preparing a story to tell you — I was going to pretend I’d gone to pick wild flowers to make posies for the old ladies, I was even going to sneak out and fetch some, to make my story convincing.’ She looked down at her hands, now reddened and sore from the hot water. ‘But I find I can’t. I can’t lie to you, when you’ve been so good to me.’

Helewise was stunned. She tried to assimilate all that Esyllt had just said, and, equally, implied; she had, it seemed, been out in the forest last night for some reason that she wasn’t prepared to divulge.

What on earth could it be?

‘Esyllt,’ Helewise said eventually, ‘you are not a professed nun, nor even a postulant. It is true that we have found you work here, when otherwise you might have had to leave and face the perils of the world outside, but you do that work conscientiously and well. Sister Emanuel says you have the gift of knowing just how to treat your elderly patients, and she is satisfied with you. More than satisfied!’ Sister Emanuel was a little grudging with her praise, but Helewise, who had seen for herself how Esyllt carried out her duties, was not. ‘What I am saying is that, as a member of the Abbey who is not in holy orders, your position is a little different. Of course, you owe Sister Emanuel obedience, and, naturally, we should not condone any wrongdoing that you committed. But, if you choose to go walking in the forest at night, then, apart from reasons concerning your own wellbeing, we can hardly stop you.’

Esyllt’s head and shoulders were bowed, and she appeared intent on the fingernail she was picking at. Helewise waited, but she didn’t answer.

‘Esyllt?’ Helewise prompted.

At last Esyllt raised her eyes and met Helewise’s. ‘I keep seeing him, Abbess,’ she whispered. ‘All that blood! Oh, God!’ She covered her face with her hands.

‘It was a frightful thing to have seen,’ Helewise said, putting her arm round Esyllt’s shaking shoulders. ‘It’s better not to fight the reaction, Esyllt — the dreadful images will haunt you for a while, but, believe me, if you try to suppress them, then you will take longer to get over this.’ She gave Esyllt a quick hug. ‘You’re strong. I know that. You will get over it.’