David Wishart - Finished Business

‘ Caesonia? ’ Messalina sniffed. ‘Don’t be silly, Corvinus!’

Felix ducked his head. ‘Actually, there we were lucky,’ he said. ‘At that point in the proceedings Capito was — well, you saw Graecinus, you’ll understand the condition he was in. He was very indistinct and scarcely capable of more than a mumble. Fortunately all Gaius could make out from where he was standing was the word “wife”.’

‘Uh-huh.’ I looked at Messalina; she was frowning. Shit; lucky was putting it mildly! I’d been so, so close; if Gaius had caught that bit the whole boiling would probably have gone down the tubes right at the start, without any extra help from me. ‘So what the poor bastard said was “Claudius’s wife”, right? Only you passed it on to Gaius as “the emperor’s wife”, or “your wife”, or whatever.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Pretty quick thinking.’

‘Thinking, fast or otherwise, is my job. And as I said, we were lucky. You know Caesonia yourself, and how the emperor felt about her. He wouldn’t entertain the thought that she was involved in a conspiracy against him for one second, and naturally that cast doubt on the rest of Capito’s evidence. Sufficient doubt to allow me to persuade him that both Callistus and Arrecinus Clemens were innocent.’

‘And just to make sure there wouldn’t be any more embarrassing revelations, you pulled the guy’s plug for him, yes?’

That got me a long stare. Finally, Felix said: ‘Valerius Corvinus, let us come to an understanding here. First of all, the fact that Capito knew about the mistress’s involvement came as a huge shock, and was hugely dangerous; how he knew, I had and have absolutely no idea, but because Gaius had taken a special interest in the man and would want to be present on subsequent occasions, I could not risk a repetition, nor could I be sure that our erstwhile colleague did not have other names to hand that might have persuaded the emperor to change his mind. Secondly, which may perhaps weigh rather more with you, Capito would have died in any case, eventually, and after undergoing terrible agony. In the event, when Gaius had gone I put him out of his misery as quickly and as painlessly as I could manage.’ He hesitated. ‘Also relevant is the fact that, as the mistress told you, he was only there in the first place because of your interference. Accordingly, I would be grateful if you would remember that and cut out the fucking self-righteousness. Sir! ’

Yeah. Fair point. More than fair. Plus, I don’t think I’d ever, ever heard Felix swear, or step outside the bounds of master-servant correctness. I nodded.

‘My apologies, pal, I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Forget that I said it, right?’

‘Duly forgotten, sir.’

‘So.’ I looked at Messalina. ‘What happens now?’

‘As far as you’re concerned? Absolutely nothing.’ She stretched luxuriantly. ‘We have a bargain, and so long as you keep to it, you’re perfectly safe. Besides, we are cousins, after all.’

‘Fair enough.’ I stood up, trying not to wince too much as my bandaged ribs kicked in.

‘You won’t mind if Claudius and I don’t invite you to the palace for dinner all that often, will you? I don’t want you to be too tempted.’

‘Believe me, that is not a problem, lady,’ I said. ‘None whatsoever.’

‘That’s good.’ Another smile. ‘I’d hate you to feel that you were being slighted.’

‘Yeah, well, I’ll try to bear up.’

She giggled. ‘A pity, really. You’d be much more fun than most of Claudius’s po-faced friends. Still, needs must, I suppose.’

‘You’re not too upset with me, I hope, sir?’ Felix said. ‘Or disappointed? After all, it was for the best. And I did keep you alive.’

True. Between Gaius and Messalina, not to mention Cerialis’s hit-men over on the Janiculan, this time round by rights I should’ve been for the urn half-a-dozen times over. Besides, in the ten years I’d known him I’d developed a sneaking admiration for the devious sod.

‘No, no hard feelings, pal,’ I said. ‘I’ll see you around.’

I left.

Well, that was that, then, I thought as I hobbled out the gate and into the waiting litter. You win some, you lose some. This one I’d definitely lost, although maybe — Messalina apart — Rome had come out ahead. We’d just have to see what kind of a job Claudius made of things. Personally, I was pretty optimistic: at least, like I said, despite surface impressions and popular opinion, the guy was no idiot. Plus, whatever she believed to the contrary, Messalina was no Livia, either; I’d had enough to do with that brilliant, cold-minded bitch to be certain of that. Valeria Messalina wasn’t even in the same league. So one of these days the lady was going to overreach herself, and it’d serve her right …

There was only one box I hadn’t ticked, and it wasn’t one that Felix could help with, nor could anyone, for that matter: Naevia Postuma’s firm conviction, backed up by the changes he’d made to his will regarding Perilla’s — and my — bequest, that her uncle knew he was going to be murdered. Or, at least, was going to die very, very shortly. Oh, sure, he may have guessed that he was a marked man, but that didn’t quite explain things.

Me … well, ever since my conversation with the Wart just before Sejanus was chopped, I’ve kept an open mind where the casting of horoscopes is concerned. And if Tiberius knew, thanks to the astrologer Thrasyllus, exactly when he was going to cash his chips in and who his successor would be, then I couldn’t see any problem in Naevius Surdinus having got his information in the same way. Weird, sure, but if it ticked the box when no other explanation did then weird I could take. The same went for Postuma’s Alexander; whether you liked it or not — and, as I say, personally I didn’t have a problem there — he’d been absolutely spot on about the assassination. Plus, from what I knew of the bastard in life, he and Gaius would’ve been bosom buddies and kindred souls. Given the fact that he did still exist on some sort of astral plane, his wanting to shove his ectoplasmic oar in made perfect sense.

So we’d just have to shrug and move on, wouldn’t we?

Maybe, at present, though, not all that far, or all that fast. Renatius’s wine shop wasn’t much out of our way, or if it was then what the hell: I hadn’t had a proper cup of wine for days, and I reckoned that I was owed one. The future could look after itself for the next couple of hours.

I pulled aside the curtain and gave the litter guys their new orders.