David Wishart - Illegally Dead

‘Funny thing, though. While they were burning him the lads thought they were being watched.’

I whipped round. ‘What?’

‘Probably just a gawper, of course, you get them at every funeral. Morbid so-and-so’s. Strange thing is, gawpers usually come out into the open and stand as close to the mourning party as they decently can so’s to get a good view. This one didn’t. In fact, the lads weren’t sure he was there at all after they first spotted him.’

‘They manage a description?’

‘Nah, too far away, and they only glimpsed him among the tombs. Also, why should they be interested? He was just a gawper.’ He frowned; then, as the penny finally dropped, he glanced at me sharply. ‘Wasn’t he?’

I didn’t answer. Brain buzzing, I left and made my way to Pontius’s.

Gabba was there, propping up the bar with a couple of the other regulars. They gave me a funny look when I came in, then went back to their wine.

‘Oh, it’s you, Corvinus.’ Pontius hefted a wine flask from the rack. ‘Usual?’

‘Yeah. Plus some cheese and olives to soak it up, pal.’

He filled half a jug and set a winecup beside it then went off to the back room for the edibles.

‘So much for watch-my-lips-no-murders, consul,’ Gabba said sourly. ‘Fibber.’

Word certainly got around fast. Mind you, Gabba kept his ear so close to the ground they could’ve used him for a drain cover; which was exactly the reason I was there. I shrugged, half-filled the cup and drained it.

‘Yeah, well,’ I said.

‘Me, I’d bet it was the wife,’ one of the other loungers grunted. ‘Bloody women, you can’t trust any of them. Not that I blame her, the bugger was out of his tree.’

‘No reason to go killing a man, though, is it?’ The other lounger emptied his cup and refilled it. ‘Just gives the rest ideas. Wives get the idea they can poison their husbands whenever they feel like it and it’s the end of fucking civilised society as we know it.’

The first lounger chuckled. ‘My wife’s been trying it for years, boy. And it’s going to get worse now she’s — ’

Gabba, next to him, shifted sideways and trod hard on his foot. ‘Oops,’ he said. ‘Sorry, sunshine, total accident.’

Pontius came back with the cheese and olives. ‘There you go, Corvinus. That do you?’

‘Fine.’ I reached into my belt-pouch, took out some coins and put them on the counter. ‘Uh…Gabba? You mind a quick word in private? Outside?’

He beamed. ‘No problem, consul. Except that my jug seems to be unaccountably almost empty at present.’

I sighed and put a few more coins down. Pontius gave me a suspicious look, reached for a flask and half-filled Gabba’s jug. ‘Okay now?’ I said.

‘You’re a true gentleman, Corvinus. One of the truly greats.’

Lounger B sniggered. I ignored him, picked up the plate of cheese and olives in one hand and my jug and empty winecup with the other and led the way outside.

We settled at one of the tables overlooking the square. I topped up the cup and drank. Gabba did the same and filched a slice of cheese.

‘Now,’ he said. ‘What can I do you for?’

‘Quintus Acceius’s wife. Seia Lucinda. She got anything going with Hostilius’s brother-in-law that you know of?’

He took a long swallow before answering. ‘Could have. Could have, consul. There’ve been stories. Mind you, if she has then they’ve been discreet. Of course, there was that incident at the party about half a month back, but you’ll know about that already.’

‘Come on, Gabba, you bastard! You’re drinking my wine, remember?’

‘True.’ He filled his cup. ‘It was Seia Lucinda’s birthday. Acceius puts on a bash for it every year, lots of guests, all the local nobs, no expense spared. You know the sort of thing.’

‘Yeah. And?’

‘Hostilius and Veturina turn up — invited, of course — and they’re in the line to wish the lady many happy returns. So when he gets face to face with the birthday girl Hostilius brings out a bottle of perfume and hands it to her. “Happy birthday, Lucinda,” he says, “this’ll suit you perfectly. It’s a real whore’s scent.” Then he just walks off back to his carriage leaving everyone standing, his wife included.’ He chuckled. ‘’Course, he never mentioned Castor by name as such, but you get the general idea.’

I sat back. Shit; talk about provocation! Well, if Acceius hadn’t stiffed the bastard after that he had a lot more forebearance than me, that was all I could say. And as far as ‘ill’ went, in Rome he’d’ve been locked up. Even so… ‘You think it’s likely, pal?’ I said.

‘That Seia Lucinda is having a bit on the side? Why not? She’s still a fine-looking woman. You’ve seen her?’ I nodded. ‘Right. Too fond of the juice, by some accounts’ — he held up his winecup — ‘and bored out of her skull. Still, that’s her own fault, isn’t it?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘She was the one did the chasing in the first place, or so they say. She married Acceius quick enough when his first wife died.’

The hairs stirred on the back of my neck. ‘His, uh, first wife? He was married before?’

‘Sure. Years back, before he came here from Bovillae. And don’t look at me like that, Corvinus, there was nothing funny about it, or not that I know of. She died in childbirth; it was their first kid, and it went wrong the way they do, sometimes. Seia Lucinda was from a big local family, couldn’t’ve been much more than half through her teens, but a real tearaway. She set her cap at Acceius and nailed him a couple of years later. At least’ — he emptied his cup and refilled it — ‘that’s what the gossip said when they moved to Castrimoenium.’

‘So what went wrong?’

‘With the marriage?’ Gabba reached for another slice of cheese. ‘Oh, that’s okay, far as I know, in general terms. I could name you shakier ones. But the lady’s no happy bunny. You want my opinion, she thought that when she bagged Acceius the next stop would be Rome. He’s a top-notch lawyer, Corvinus, a sturgeon in a carp-pond, but he’s content with where he is and what he is. He could’ve ditched Hostilius years ago, long before all this shit started, but he didn’t. Hasn’t since, either.’ He took a swallow of wine. ‘Ask me, he’s just too nice for his own good. You get these stupid buggers now and again. Like I say, the result’s that his wife drinks too much and she’s bored. Take all that with the fact that she’s a stunner and you’ve got a lethal combination.’

Yeah, I’d agree with that. I took some of the cheese before the scrounging bastard wolfed the rest of it. ‘How about the brother-in-law? Castor? He got form?’

‘He’s good-looking, certainly. And he likes the girls. There’ve been two or three irate daddies knocking on the Hostilius door since he moved here.’

‘Connections with Seia Lucinda in particular?’

‘He’s the firm’s gopher. He’s bound to see something of her in the natural course of events. But like I say if there is anything then they’ve been discreet.’

Bugger; I’d heard enough. ‘Gabba, pal, you do realise that all this amounts to zilch, don’t you?’ I said. ‘My bet is that there isn’t a scrap of actual evidence linking Castor and Acceius’s wife. All you’ve given me is assumptions and generalities, plus a reported insult at a party where the guy who delivered it ought to’ve been smacked in the mouth on the spot. Right?’

‘I aim to please, consul. Not an unreasonable return for half a jug of wine.’ Gabba refilled his cup. ‘Anyway, that’s what gossip is. Substantiated gossip is what you might call a contradiction in terms, and for that you pay extra. Not that it’s my field of expertise, mind.’