Lindsey Davis - The Spook Who Spoke Again

ROME: the Circus of Gaius and Nero in the Transtiberina

August AD 89

As soon as I got there, my mother said, ‘We must put on a revival of Falco’s old play to celebrate.’

It sounded as if she was trying to make me feel at home, but now I had no home. She had come and removed me from where I lived with my other mother and Falco, and taken me to Nero’s Circus, where her troupe of entertainers had arrived to work for a season. I think it is wrong that a very intelligent boy should have to live in a tent. Especially if he must share it with his mother and a large snake.

My change of circumstance came as no surprise. I had met her, the mother who bore me, because she came to our house every few years to have a look at me. She was very tall, with bulging muscles. She never wore respectable dress, only theatrical costumes. She must have decided what size to wear years many ago when she was smaller, so I could see parts of her that I had never been able to inspect closely on other women, even on statues, squeezing out of her tiny costumes. The clothes were bright coloured and trimmed in exotic ways. I keep lists of interesting things and after several visits I had written down: glass spangles, feathers, fur, braid, gold cord, silver beads, and leather fringing. The feathers were from peacocks, ostriches and parrots, all birds she had owned herself in her menagerie, though some had pined away and had their feathers plucked after they died, she said.

According to her, she visited my family out of affection for me, to see how I was getting on. My other mother, the one who brought me up, let out a snort as she said that affection had nothing to do with it. Thalia, my mother, wanted to see if I was useful yet. I was twelve now, or so she claimed, although my other mother muttered that I was probably eleven because Thalia fudged my date of birth as part of her daft scheming to disguise who my father was.

I am not supposed to know about that. Why does my father need to be disguised? Is he a god who visited earth one day? That would make me a demi-god, like Hercules.

I am good at listening so I have discovered three definite things. Number one: I am Marcus Didius Alexander Postumus, son of Marcus Didius Falco, yet Falco is not my real father, he adopted me. When I question him, it sounds as if he did not want to do that, yet I have to admit he treats me the same as the others, except of course I am a boy so I have special rights. According to Falco, who is a rather dry person, my special rights as a Roman are to be bullied by my female relatives and to eat porridge, the dish of our ancestors. We never have porridge at our house so this cannot be right.

If my father had the kind of son he likes, it would be someone boisterous who makes a lot of friends, and who is pally with his father all the time. They would go fishing off the Probus Bridge and wrestle each other around the house, damaging vases, while my mother asked them to please grow up. This is not me.

The second and third things I have found out are as follows. Number two: my mother who bore me always says that my father was Didius Favonius, the auctioneer who founded our family business. I mean the business in my adopted family. Favonius, who was also known as Geminus because he liked to cause confusion, died before I was born. He was Falco’s father so this is why an obligation to take care of me was imposed on Falco. But when Falco and my other mother speak together in private, which they often do although I can find a way to listen if I want to, sometimes they allude to a man in Alexandria. He is Number three. I do not know his name because they just say ‘the man in Alexandria’ in hinting voices. They appear to consider he occupies a position of importance, though they also call him a zoo-keeper. That is interesting, though not something to be proud of. I do not know how I can go to Alexandria to ask him anything, so I generally pay him no attention. Being my father is a demanding honour which cannot be left to someone in Egypt whose social rank and occupation seem mysterious.

If I ever find out he really is a person of importance, I shall hasten to him in order to take up my rightful place. ‘Don’t do that,’ says my sister Albia; ‘I met him, Postumus; he is a philanderer, despite being married. Like most of the bastards.’ My sister is an embittered woman, even though she denies it. But she has an unusual past so can therefore expound on many subjects in a firm tone of voice.

My other mother is Helena Justina. She nearly had a son of her own, but her baby died when he was born, so she had to have me instead, because I had been dumped on Falco to be taken care of. Helena and Falco had adopted Albia before, but that was from choice because they found her running wild in horrible Britain and she looked intriguing. Sometimes I feel that Helena does not like me as much as her daughters, but she hides it well. Most people do not take to me, I know, which was why I valued Ferret.

When my real mother came to fetch me from home, my other parents sat down for a council and gave me the choice of whether to go. Legally I belong to them, but morally Thalia has a claim on me. Falco and Helena asked very kindly if freedom to decide for myself worried me, but I set their minds at ease. I decided the experience would be one of value to someone with an enquiring mind, as I have.

My other mother sternly told Thalia that if I went with her, there were conditions. Helena Justina is good at conditions. Falco says it is her natural gift, yet he still loves her.

Helena’s conditions about me are cleverly thought out, which is what she is like: first, if I ever want to return home, I must be allowed to do it straightaway. Second, Thalia is not ever to take me outside Rome. Third, I must be sent over the river to have dinner at Falco’s house once a week. I suppose then they will quiz me about whether I am happy living in a tent with circus performers and animals, or do I want to be a boy in a respectable home again. Their concern is unnecessary because if I want to go back I shall just do it of my own accord, using a map I have drawn to avoid asking directions from any strangers who might be unreliable. Fourth, I can have my ferret.

The fourth condition was breached on the first day.

What I am writing down here is the conversation that I would have had with Ferret, if I could still talk to him, about my life with the entertainment company. In the time that I owned him, which was one year, seven months and three weeks, we had many exchanges in private. Talking to Ferret helped me explore my ideas about the world. I found him an excellent companion, who never made a fuss about listening to me. He did not try to put forward ideas of his own. When you talk to other people, unfortunately they are prone to joining in, as if they think you want to hear an alternative to your own theories, but their ideas are mostly inferior to mine so I don’t.

You are wondering why I could not speak to him now. I regret to report, Ferret was no longer available to be my companion. A huge snake called Jason had eaten him.

My mother Thalia, who is Jason’s owner, claimed I was mistaken and Ferret would turn up. I knew she was lying.

I was extremely annoyed about this. If nobody else cared about knowing what happened, which they obviously didn’t, it was up to me to investigate, as my father and my eldest sister do in their work as informers. I have watched how they go about it so I know what to do. When I had proved who was to blame, I must then impose justice. Father and Albia have explained this. Murder is a capital offence. The cruel person who commits murder has to die. This is the law. Superior-quality murderers are told to commit suicide with their own swords in order to save state expense, says Falco, while inferior ones are sent to the arena lions and gobbled up. That provides public entertainment and a warm sense of well-being in criminals who have managed not to get caught, says Albia.