Anne Perry - The Angel Court Affair

Pitt took a Hansom cab to Angel Court, hoping that Sofia might have returned, or at least sent some message with an explanation for her absence. But when he walked in through the gateway of Angel Court, he knew. Henrietta Navarro stood on the cobbles with a bunch of herbs in her hand. She stared at Pitt with a momentary flash of hope, then her eyes filled with tears and she turned away and hurried inside.

Pitt went across the yard and in through the door without looking back.

When Pitt got home, later than he had expected, he was happy not to think of Sofia Delacruz. He was tired of wondering where she was, and if she was there of her own will. However, he had barely finished his dinner in the pleasant warmth around the kitchen table when he realized that Jemima was watching him, waiting. He had been hoping to talk of something comfortable, but he saw the possibility disappearing.

“What do you think has happened to her, Papa?” Jemima asked the moment he caught her eye.

He knew that Charlotte would have told her not to ask him until after dinner. He knew she had been watching every mouthful, barely tasting her own food.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. He was careful how he answered his children, trying to protect them from the harsher side of his job, but he never lied. Sometimes that was difficult, but if he did lie, he knew that their trust in him would be broken and someday it would come back to haunt them all.

“People are saying that she went on purpose,” Jemima continued. “That she wasn’t kidnapped at all, she’s just pretending so she can make people scared, and think she’s in danger when she’s perfectly all right. They’re saying it’s a trick to make her look more important. That’s not true, is it?”

He looked at her. She was so like Charlotte that he could imagine Charlotte as a girl, as if the years had blurred and carried him back to a time before he had known her. Jemima had the same soft curve to her cheeks and mouth, the same steady eyes, yet there was something of himself in her too, the way her hair grew from her brow, like his, and like his mother’s. He had only this moment realized it.

“I don’t know,” he said carefully. “When I met her I thought she believed what she was saying and that it mattered enough never to soil it by trickery. But I’ve been mistaken in people. We all have.”

“Then you’re saying she could have been lying all the time!” Jemima challenged, her voice thick with emotion.

Daniel winced. He was three years younger, and very tired of girls altogether, and emotional storms especially. His were yet to come. He was brave, intelligent, very practical. He was interested in the rising possibility of more widespread war in Africa than the present fighting in the Sudan, especially against the Boers in South Africa. The military tactics, the heroism and the sacrifice involved intrigued him. He did not care in the slightest about the philosophy of saints, or their behavior.

Charlotte looked from one to the other of them, anxiety in her eyes, but she did not intervene.

“I don’t think she is,” Pitt replied. “But Barton Hall, who is her only relative in England, said that she has misled people in the past and that there is a great deal that we don’t know about her. He won’t tell me exactly what it is, because he feels it would be dishonorable, a betrayal of family secrets.”

“That’s despicable!” Jemima said hotly. “He will tell you there’s something awful, but he won’t say what it is, so you can’t judge it for yourself. He could be lying. If he won’t tell you then he shouldn’t mention it at all! That’s like being a sneak!”

Daniel looked up, his expression reflecting his agreement. To a boy his age, sneaking was the worst sin imaginable, after cowardice. He stared at Pitt, then at his sister. “You shouldn’t listen to him,” he said without hesitation. “It all sounds very childish.”

A look of both surprise and amusement lit Charlotte’s face. She quashed it immediately. She drew in her breath to speak, then changed her mind.

Charlotte had warned Pitt that Jemima was both excited and afraid of the great changes in her life that were coming in the next couple of years. She had thought of adulthood as freedom, and was just realizing that it had its own kind of restrictions. Marriage meant a gain, but also its own sort of loss, and she was not at all sure she was ready for that yet. Romance could be wonderful or heartbreaking, and sometimes both.

The idea of promising to love and obey anyone else, for the rest of her life, terrified her. Perhaps that was why the courage and the independence of Sofia Delacruz appealed to her so much.

“He was warning me that she might have more enemies than merely those who disagreed with her religious views,” Pitt told them. “He was answering my questions.”

Jemima blinked rapidly. “Do you believe him?”

“I believe he feels very strongly about it.” Pitt wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he wasn’t entirely sure how.

“Why?” Jemima asked. “Does he hate her?”

“I think he’s afraid of her,” he replied.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Contempt rang in her voice. “She isn’t hurting anyone, especially him.”

Should he be honest, or was it burdening her with thoughts she would not understand? He desperately wanted to forget Sofia Delacruz and enjoy the evening.

He looked across at Charlotte, and knew that she was not going to say anything. She wanted answers as well, although she would not have asked him, especially not this late when she understood his need to give his mind a rest.

“Papa?” Jemima persisted. “Why would he be afraid of her? Do you think she’s dangerous?”

He knew he could hurt her so easily. He must choose exactly the right words.

“He’s afraid that people will believe her ideas, and then be horribly disappointed when she doesn’t live up to what she has said,” he answered.

“She didn’t say she was perfect!” Jemima argued. “She just said it wasn’t all a big mistake because God didn’t know we’d disobey and get cast out of Eden. Which would make Him pretty stupid. She said it was meant to be, and that we can learn from it and get better…forever.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, but very wisely said nothing.

Pitt was surprised that Jemima had been listening closely enough to be able to put it so succinctly. He was proud of her, and afraid for her in the same moment.

“Don’t you believe that?” Jemima demanded.

“I want to believe it,” he admitted. “But it’s hard to be different from all the people around you. It doesn’t come without a price, and I don’t want you to be hurt. I look at Sofia Delacruz, and I see the turmoil around her, because she is challenging the order of things and suggesting something new. People like what is familiar. We get upset when people ask us to change. It’s hard work. It feels dangerous, and we are afraid we will lose those we love.”

She blinked. “Is there a God? I’m trying to think back, but I can’t remember you ever saying so.” The hope was shining in her eyes, and she would believe what he said.

Charlotte moved her hand slightly, just barely touching him.

“My mother died before you were born,” he said quietly. “But she believed. I always knew that. I would like to believe as deeply as she did, but I haven’t got there yet. I’m afraid I haven’t tried very hard. But I do know certain things are right, and some are wrong, and I don’t doubt that. Although there’s an awful lot in the middle.”

This time it was Daniel who interrupted. “What’s always right?”

“Kindness,” Pitt answered with certainty. “Keeping your promises. Not giving up just because it gets hard. Owning up to your mistakes, and not blaming other people even if you would get away with it.”