Don Gutteridge - Desperate Acts

Lady Mad giggled girlishly. “We were aimingfor my room – weren’t we, lover? – but we didn’t quite makeit.”

Dutton, pale and trembling, looked uppleadingly at the baronet, but was unable to get another wordout.

“I want you both on stage in five minutes!”Sir P. barked, then wheeled and stomped away down the hall.

“Here, let me help you with thosesuspenders,” Lady Mad said soothingly to Dutton.

Cobb discovered he couldn’t re-close thewardrobe door without drawing attention to it, but did manage tokeep his body hidden away among its contents. If the lovers leftsoon, he could follow them out, pick up his paint and return to thetheatre with no-one being the wiser.

“So your husband knows – ”

“We have an arrangement. There’s absolutelynothing to worry about.”

“I damn near had a heart attack.”

“So did I. You do it very well.”

“I do?”

“Like a stallion. And a hundred times betterthan that weak-kneed, whining banker out there!”

Laughing freely, the lady led her lover outinto the hall.

So, it was Fullarton after all, Cobb thought.He had committed adultery with Lady Mad on some previous occasion,while Dutton had almost certainly enjoyed her favours for the firsttime this evening. That confirmed Fullarton as one of Duggan’sobvious victims. At the same time, however, it let Dutton off thehook, for the time being. Cobb would have much to report to Marc atBriar Cottage later. Now, if only he could stop sweating, find thegreen paint, and get back before anyone became overly curious aboutthe absence of the scene-painting weaver.

***

“You go first,” Marc said, far too excited by thelook of satisfaction on Cobb’s face to pause and light hispipe.

“You got news, too?” Cobb said, trying tosound enthusiastic but fearing that, somehow, his mentor had beatenhim to the prize.

“It can wait.”

The two men were alone once again in theparlour of Briar Cottage. The fire in the grate was a crimson glow.Beth could be heard cooing to Maggie in the far bedroom.

“Well, major, tonight I turned over twogrubby secrets with one plunge of the plough,” Cobb said withjustifiable pride. And he proceeded in his own anecdotal way tonarrate the incredible sequence of events that took place in SirPeregrine Shuttleworth’s boudoir, highlighting the more salaciousportions with a perceptible reddening of the nose. He finished upby giving his interpretation of what he saw and the possibleimplications for the case.

Marc waited a moment before saying, “Splendidwork, Cobb. And I agree wholeheartedly with your conclusions. Thereseems little doubt that the initials ‘P.S’ which we found onDuggan’s checklist of victims referred to Sir Peregrine and thatthe threat to him was public exposure of his cross-dressing habits,in consequence of which he might be thought a homosexual. Eithertransgression would have finished him in the eyes of the people hewas hoping to impress.”

“He wouldn’t be havin’ no more Saturd’ysuppers with His Bishopric.”

“You do have a way with words.”

“It’s too bad about Fullarton, though.Brodie’ll be crushed.”

“It’s quite a shock to me, too. And I hopeBrodie will never need to know. Still, like you, I don’t believethere is any other interpretation possible of Lady Madeleine’sremark. It appears that she and her husband do not sleep togetherand that the lady is driven to find physical satisfaction wherevershe can.”

“And often,” Cobb added with a rush of bloodto his snout.

“Fullarton’s reaction to Lady Madeleineduring rehearsals strongly suggests that he was feeling guiltyabout an earlier liaison – fertile circumstance for a ruthlessblackmailer. We have to assume now that those were HoraceFullarton’s initials on Duggan’s list.”

“But how do you figure a no-good stranger tothe town like Duggan could’ve dug up such dirt?”

“Unless we’re lucky enough to find Nestor, wecan only speculate.”

“There’s been no sign of him or his pal ItchyQuick. Itchy’s hovel is as empty as his brain. Them two snitches’verun off with Duggan’s loot, or I’ll eat Dora’s Sunday hat.”

“And therein may lie the answer to how Duggangot his information. Brodie told me that Fullarton spent a lot oftime up at Oakwood Manor this summer, advising the baronet on thereconstruction of the place. The affair with Lady Madeleineprobably happened then – up there.”

“And Itchy does handiwork from time to time,don’t he? Even a little rough gardenin’. He might’ve seen somethin’he shouldn’t have.”

“And passed it along to Nestor.”

“But Nestor’s always been honest,” Cobb said,puzzled. Then he smiled and added, “But dumb as a donkey ridin’side-saddle! Duggan could’ve weaseled anythin’ he wanted outtaNestor. He even had him believin’ he was a long-lost cousin waitin’fer a fortune from a de-seized relative.”

“And I suppose Itchy could have spotted thebaronet wearing a dress, though I can’t imagine Shuttleworth beingfoolish enough to parade around in his own garden.”

“You ain’t said anythin’ yet about Dutton,”Cobb reminded Marc.

“Again, I believe you got it right. Duttonhad little to fear about being named as one of Lady Madeleine’sconquests, if indeed he was before tonight. It’s her husband whowould be branded a cuckold, and it’s clear that the baronet doesn’tseem to mind. Even if he did, a scoundrel like Duggan would be morelikely to go after the rich aristocrat than the retiredbarrister.”

“So that means we’ve dug up secrets on onlytwo of the five suspects – Fullarton an’ Shuttleworth . . . unless- ”

“Yes, I do have news on a third.”

“Budge?” Cobb said hopefully, knowing thatthis was the weak spot in their strategy.

“No, alas. It’s Crenshaw.”

“He been servicin’ the lady?” Cobb said,incredulous.

“If he has, it’s a minor indiscretioncompared to what Beth found out about the skeleton in the Crenshawfamily closet.”

“I’m all ears.”

“I haven’t told Beth yet what I’m planningfor Brodie’s defense, but she has read our notes on the case andknows you went up to Oakwood to ferret out secrets that might havebeen used by Duggan.”

“And?”

“And this morning when she went to Crenshaw’splace to deliver a costume to Clementine, she found her in asemi-drugged state. Mistaking Beth for her husband or just notconscious enough to know where she was, she muttered aloud that herhusband’s father was not only not a hero at the Battle ofMoraviantown in 1813, he was a deserter, who was subsequentlycaught, and put to death – by a firing squad, no doubt.”

Cobb whistled through his teeth. “An’ that’ssomethin’ you couldn’t paste up on the Crenshaw coat-of-arms!Jesus, but he’d give half his candle-plant to keep the lid on that news.”

“I agree, though I can’t for the life of meimagine how Duggan could have found out about something thathappened twenty-six years ago and was kept secret all thattime.”

Marc poked at the fire. The cooing noises hadsubsided.

“So, major, we now got three of the fiveblackmailin’ secrets. Are you gonna tell me how you’re fixin’ touse them?”

“I promised I would, didn’t I? And eventhough the trial opens on Thursday, I now have enough information,and reason to believe it is true, to build an effective defense forBrodie.”

“You’re thinkin’ of puttin’ the blameelsewhere?”

Marc smiled. “That I am. Here’s what I havein mind. Even though I don’t see the Crown’s witness-list untiltomorrow morning, I’m certain they’ll call Sir Peregrine, Crenshawand Tobias Budge, each of whom will testify to the damning actionsthey observed in the alley as they departed the Shakespeare Club.Fullarton is also a possible, and Dutton less likely. However, bothFullarton and Dutton have volunteered to be character witnesses forBrodie, who, as you know, is forbidden to testify in his owndefense. I’ve placed those two on my witness-list.”