Jill Churchill - Silence of the Hams

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When loathed attorney Robert Stonecipher is felled by a rack of hams at the opening of a neighborhood deli where Jane's son works, she and her friend, Shelley, begin snooping. With reluctant help from her boyfriend, homicide detective Mel VanDyne, Jane uncovers plenty of skeletons in closets, all the while trying to find time to restock her own pantry, chaperone the school's grand night party and make peace with her teenage daughter. Complicated by plenty of twists and seasoned with wit, the investigation of Stonecipher's death should build reader appeal for Churchill's first hardcover, War and Peas, scheduled for release in November.

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Tony Belton closed his notebook. "Anybody with such strong opinions sometimes rubs people the wrong way. But as a mentor, he was tops. He really knew the law inside and out. I think I learned as much from him in four years as I did in law school."

“Is that when you joined his firm? Is it a firm when it's just one person?" Jane asked.

Tony smiled. "I'd have to research that. Actually, Robert and I both turned up here at the same time and a mutual acquaintance introduced us. I'd grown up here, then practiced in Connecticut for years. When I got divorced, I came back so that when I have my son here and have to work, he could be with my parents instead of a babysitter."

“What a good idea," Jane said.

“It's worked out pretty well. My folks spoil him rotten. But then, so do I."

“How old is your son?"

“The same age as your boys. He'll be here for the summer next week and be on the team. His school isn't out yet.”

Shelley politely asked him about his son and they got a run-down on what a great kid he was. Tony was a besotted father. Finally Jane dragged the topic back. "So Mr. Stonecipher came here at the same time?"

“Right. He'd had a successful practice, but the pressure had gotten too much, so he and his wife came back here — she's from Chicago originally — to retire. But a man of his energy couldn't really retire so early and he was just starting up a new practice when I met him."

“And where does Emma Weyrich come into this?" Shelley asked bluntly.

If the question made him wary, he didn't show it. "She'd worked with him out West, and he invited her here when he started getting things lined up."

“Was she that good at whatever she did?"

“Sure, Robert wouldn't bother with anybody who wasn't good. Well, that sounds bigheaded of me—"

“Not at all," Shelley said. "But I get the feeling you didn't like her much.”

That did make him pause carefully. Jane guessed that he wasn't normally given to talking about himself so much, but had been inundated with Rhonda's concerns for the last couple days and perhaps appreciated somebody asking about him for a change.

“I didn't dislike her," he said, sounding more like a lawyer than a soccer coach.

“But you weren't entirely thrilled to work with her?" Shelley prodded.

“I didn't 'work with her' much. She worked with Robert, not me. Research, mainly. And some routine minor filings. Property settlements, that sort of thing."

“You knew they were having an affair?" Jane asked.

He looked surprised. Not at the information but at Jane's knowing it. "It was none of my business."

“Then what—?"

“Look, I don't know why this interests you, but Emma was an advice giver. One of those people who's always volunteering what you ought to be doing about things, whether you wanted her opinion or not. I didn't like it. She had all kinds of half-assed opinions on how I should be raising my son. Coming from a woman who didn't have children and hadn't been asked, it was really irritating. That's all.”

He was obviously getting irritated with their questions as well. It was time for some repair work.

“No!" Jane exclaimed. "Why, how outrageous. But there are a lot of people like that. In fact, people without kids often think they know more about raising them than the parents like us who are in the trenches.”

This mollified him a bit. "Yeah, there's a big difference between theory and reality. She had a loony idea about year-round school and how I should make him take summer classes when he visited with me. She was always harping on it. Thought it would make for great 'bonding' if I spent every night all summer helping him with homework. I don't think she was ever a kid herself," he added sourly.

“But why would somebody kill her?" Jane asked as if pondering the question for the first time.

He shrugged. "You've got me there." He didn't seem particularly curious.

“There's a rumor going around that she was blackmailing people," Shelley said.

“Blackmailing? Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised. "What would she know about anybody? Oh—!" He stopped speaking, his mouth open.

“What?" Jane asked.

He was glaring out across the now empty field and talking to himself more than to them. "The police asked me about some files in Robert's office — private files, they said. Oh, shit! You don't think—”

Suddenly he got a grip on himself. "Sorry. Excuse my language. God, this is awful!" He started gathering up equipment. "Boys, finish up quickly now. It's time to go," he barked.

Jane decided, since he was unravelling, she'd push him just a little further. "I guess you and Rhonda will be getting married when this is all settled."

“What!" It was a yelp.

“Aren't you? Oh, I'm sorry. But we heard that's why she was divorcing her husband."

“She's telling people that?" he asked, dropping his notebook and pencil. "No, no. She wouldn't. No. Mrs. Stonecipher and I are just friends. Really. Boys! Are you ready? Are your rides all here?”

He scrabbled for his notebook and went tearing off to hustle them along.

“Jeez, Jane!" Shelley said, laughing. "What a reaction. You scared him half to death."

“I think it's Rhonda who's scaring him," Jane said.

Shelley watched as Tony Belton started herding the boys toward the waiting cars. "I don't think any of that was an act, do you? I think the blackmailing news was really a kidney punch."

“Mel's going to have a fit if it gets back to him that I talked about it. But if Patsy Mallett's figured it out, I imagine a lot of people have. Wonder why Tony didn't?"

“When's he had time to figure anything out?" Shelley said. "Rhonda's been leading him around by the nose, making him fetch and carry and write eulogies and call relatives. He can't be too stupid to have seen what the police were getting at if he'd had time to consider about it. From his viewpoint, it must be pretty devastating. Whatever his role is in what remains of the firm, think how bad it'll look when it's public knowledge that Stonecipher and Weyrich were keeping blackmail files."

“Wow! I hadn't thought about that!" Jane said.

“But Tony is," Shelley said. "Poor guy. And then you hit him with that marrying Rhonda thing. That was a master stroke, Jane."

“Rhonda sure wouldn't have been flattered at the way he reacted.”

They headed toward the car, just as they heard the first roll of thunder.

Shelley pointed at the sky. "Please note! My lawn watering worked.”

1 9 It was pouring down rain by the time they got home. They'd dropped off the other boys in the car pool and their own two had hopped out. As she got out, Shelley said, "Being in a closed car with a bunch of sweaty twelve-year-old boys is not one of life's dreams. In fact, we may have just had a glimpse of what hell really is like.”

Jane went inside and contemplated the contents of the refrigerator. It was a rare treat to have a range of choices. Of course anything she made would seem ordinary after she'd eaten so much of Conrad's marvelous cooking lately. The rain had been swept in by surprisingly cold air, and Jane thought a stew might be nice, but it was too late to start one. She rejected chili because it wasn't cold enough outside for that and settled on hamburgers, macaroni and cheese, corn, and a salad. Good, plain food.

Katie came into the kitchen and offered to help. Jane tried to hide her astonishment. She put the macaroni and cheese into the oven, started making the hamburger patties, and set Katie to work on the salad.

“That's not veal, is it?" Katie asked suspiciously.

“Veal? Of course not."

“Because I saw a program on television about veal and the way the poor little calves are kept in these tiny pens—"

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