Jill Churchill - The Accidental Florist

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Suburban supersleuth Jane Jeffry and her detective beau Mel VanDyne have finally decided to tie the knot. While Jane's planning the wedding of her dreams — with no overbearing mother-in-law to steamroll the entire event and tell her what to wear — Mel convinces her and her best friend Shelley to take a women's self-defense class. But before Jane and Shelley can learn the karate kicks and mean moves to fight off even the perfect purse-snatcher, their class is cut brutally short. . when two participants are murdered. Between her new writing project, an addition to the house, and battling mothers-in-law, she's got her hands full. But she'll have to make time to help Mel find the killer if she wants to walk happily — and safely — down the aisle.

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But those were big companies, not individuals. And it was probably before women could even vote. She'd let Sally settle it with a will instead.

And where would the story be set?

She found herself wanting to start the book, without worrying about chronology or legal matters. She went inside and sat down at her computer to write the first chapter.

Sally had her eyes closed and was thinking, "I've been in this bed in the hospital for a year and one week. It's good that I had the sense not to let anyone know I could hear and see. Even though that was all I could do. Thank God for Lacy."

Lacy had, after the first week that Sally was hospitalized, taken on responsibility for her. Lacy was young, tall, and strong and was the only one in the world who believed that Sally could recover. Three times every day she propped Sally up on pillows and hand fed her water and pulverized food. She'd also lift her carefully to the commode in the corner of the room when Sally needed it.

Sally would look at that part of the room as a signal to Lacy. Lacy was the only one who knew that Sally could see. And she knew, instinctively, that Sally didn't want anyone else to know. Lacy, after Maud's visit, also put a camp bed in Sally's room, so she could turn her during the night.

Lacy would bathe Sally once a day, and then gently

massage her arms and legs. What Lacy didn't know yet was that Sally was starting to feel through her fingertips and toes. Lacy's belief and care of her were working.

Sally's husband, who was also an orphan and the only child of rich parents, as was Sally, was killed on a skiing trip to Switzerland when he was buried in an avalanche. His body wasn't recovered until the spring thaw. Their children were young. Bobby was only two on his last birthday, and Amanda was four and a half. Knowing that her husband's life had been taken away too soon, she wrote a will, giving her substantial inheritance from her own parents over to her cousin Maud. Sally had no brothers or sisters and only one cousin.

Sally's inheritance from her late husband was also generous, but she held that back in the will for the welfare and education of her children. And her own welfare in the future.

During her widowhood, Sally had left the children with their nanny while Sally went to buy groceries one day, and was attacked by a purse snatcher. He'd hit her in the back with something like a pipe to knock her down. She only knew this because Lacy told her when she was sent from the hospital to the nursing home.

Her memory of Maud's first visit was still clear in her mind. Maud had come to the nursing home a month after Sally had been moved there and tried to convince the doctor that he should write up a document saying that Sally would never recover and Maud herself should have

Sally's late husband's money as well to raise Bobby and Amanda.

The doctor refused. "She's probably not ever going to recover, but she's healthy except for the spinal injury. She can swallow food and water, she can evacuate her bowels. Her heart is healthy. Her blood pressure is normal."

"But she's a vegetable and always will be," Maud claimed. "And she's stuck me with her children."

"What are you suggesting?" the doctor asked. "That we put her down like a seriously injured pet?"

"Why not?" Maud said. "She'll never be able to get out of that bed on her own. And I need more money to take care of her children."

"She'd have to make a new will for that to be done," the doctor said and then he took her arm and added, "Go away and never come back here. I'm going to see if I can find someone more honorable to take care of her children."

As it happened, after she left, he reflected that he was bound to the conditions of Sally's will as well. He couldn't place her children anywhere else any more than Maud could get her hands on Sally's late husband's money.

But after that visit, Lacy moved a camp bed into Sally's room, to make sure Maud didn't sneak back in and do harm to Sally. Lacy felt that Maud would do anything to get rid of Sally and claim not only Sally's money, but that of Sally's late husband.

On that day a month after the first year and week had

passed, Sally could feel with her fingertips, and her toes could move. A month later she looked at Lacy, and then at her own hand. Lacy did so and started to weep as she felt the strong grip of Sally's handshake. Sally made her mouth work and said in a husky whisper that was slurred, "Thank you."

Lacy wept.

Jane saved this scene to a backup disk and turned off the computer. She could go back later and make any corrections or additions to the work. She was pleased with the setup. Maud would try again and again to get all the money. Sally would gradually improve. Only Lacy would know when Sally finally took her first step by herself.

Later in the day, she checked what happened in 1903 and found very few interesting national events; she decided that the location of the hospital and nursing home should be in Virginia, near the Maryland border.

She made a brief outline of the story line, including Maud trying to kill Sally and Sally breaking Maud's nose. Lacy pretended that it was she who attacked Maud in defense of Sally when the doctor learned of the incident. Jane made sure not to give away the ending. She'd be paid part of her advance for turning in a brief outline, but she didn't want anyone to know the ending before reading the whole manuscript. Besides, Jane hadn't yet decided exactly what the ending would be. Jane, a dinosaur who still used WordPerfect instead of Word, went through what she'dwritten with the grammar checker, which was nutsy and priggish, and thought that more than one sentence in dialogue made the wrong parentheses. It also wanted to change every who to whom. But it was good at catching is for as, and it's for its. Fortunately Jane could ignore whatever the stupid grammar checker said.

As she was finishing up, she realized she didn't have a title for the book yet. She'd have to do a cover letter explaining this to her agent.

As she was printing, the phone rang, and Thelma said, "Jane, uu haven't ssent me an invitation to uu wedding."

Jane was taken aback by this slurred message and said, "I'm not inviting you because of what you tried to do to me."

"Uu are a bbbad gur," and there was a crashing sound.

Since the phone was still intact at Thelma's end, Jane used her fax machine in telephone mode and called Ted. "Your mother just called me and was slurring her words, and then there was a crashing noise."

"Oh God. Jane," Ted exclaimed. "Call 911, and I'll be at her house before they get there."

She did as he'd asked.

Chapter

FIFTEEN

J

ane's heart was beating at a bird rate. Had her nasty remark caused the stroke or heart attack? The answer was no. Thelma had been slurring her words even before Jane was rude to her. Still, she felt a little pity for Thelma. Jane always hoped she herself would go over like a tree when the time came. Not lingering for years of misery.

Two hours later, Ted called Jane. "My mother's had a serious stroke. She'll be in the hospital for a week, and then go into a nursing home."

"Should I visit her?"

"No. After what she's done to you and Dixie, 1 don't want you to go there. But I only have one week to find agood nursing home. I hate to ask you, but I know some of them are like prisons and stink of death. We need to find a good one."

"I'd be happy to help you. Tomorrow morning I have to drop something in the mail to my agent, but after that I'm free. May I bring my friend Shelley along? She'd be one more person to judge a good one."

"That's fine."

Todd had been at the kitchen table during this conversation, and asked, "Who was that?"

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