William Johnston: Sorry, Chief…

99 brightened. “Oh, are we, Max? That’s wonderful.”

“I thought you’d be happy to hear it,” Max smiled.

“Rorff!” Fang said.

“I don’t know where you heard it before,” Max frowned. “But if it wasn’t from me, it wasn’t official.” He turned to the Chief. “Now, then, Chief, what exactly is this case?”

“Well, Max,” the Chief began, starting to rise from behind his desk.

“Just a second, Chief,” Max broke in. “Isn’t this Top Secret?”

“Yes, Max.”

“Then… shouldn’t we lower the Cone of Silence?”

The Chief sighed. “All right, Max.” He lifted his eyes toward the ceiling. “Lower the Cone of Silence.”

Immediately, a plastic bubble began to descend toward his desk. When it was in place, Max and the Chief crawled under, isolating themselves inside the bubble.

“Now then-what’s the case, Chief?” Max said.

“But what about 99 and Fang?” the Chief said. “They’re outside, they can’t hear us.”

Max frowned. “Yes, there is that problem. Since they’ll be working with me, they’ll need to know the details of the case, too.” He pondered a second, then said, “I know-I’ll step outside and let 99 come in here. Ladies first, you know.”

“But, Max, then you won’t know what the case is about.”

“Hmmmmmmm. Then how about this, Chief? You step outside and let 99 and Fang get in here with me.”

“Max, if I were outside, how could I tell you about the case?”

“You could shout.”

“Then what’s the point of having the cone of silence?”

Max lifted his eyes toward the ceiling. “Raise the Cone of Silence!” he called.

Magically, the plastic bubble ascended and disappeared into the ceiling.

“Did we miss anything?” 99 asked.

“Technical stuff-it would have been over your head, anyway,” Max replied.

“Max,” the Chief said from his seat at his desk, “can we get down to business? You know, the fate of the whole civilized-”

Max winced. “Not again, Chief.”

“Sorry.”

Max seated himself on a corner of the Chief’s desk. “Until you get a really top-notch pussy cat case, let’s just refer to everything as routine,” he suggested.

“All right, Max. Now, here’s your assignment,” the Chief said, settling back in his chair. “A certain Dr. X has developed a serum that can make men invisible. One injection and-”

“Excuse me, Chief,” Max interrupted. “But… this Dr. X… is that his real name?”

“Yes,” the Chief nodded.

“Why do you ask, Max?” 99 said.

“I used to know a family of Xs,” Max replied. “Back in my old home town. Let’s see… there was Billy Joe X, and Fanny Rose X, and V. W. X.-I don’t know what his name was, he only used his initials-and Franklin Delano X… a whole family of Xs. I wonder if this Dr. X is any relation.”

“I don’t see that it makes much difference, Max,” the Chief said.

“It could be a conversation-starter-having the same home town,” Max pointed out. “I hate like the devil to get involved in a contest of wills with a Bad Guy-especially in a situation where the fate of the whole civilized world hangs in the balance-and not have anything to talk about.”

The Chief sighed. “All right, Max. Let’s get on with it. As I was saying, Dr. X has developed a serum that can make men invisible. One injection and-”

“Chief-are you sure that this serum can make men invisible?”

“Well… that’s what Dr. X claims,” the Chief replied. “So far, he’s tried it only on guinea pigs. But the assumption is that, yes, it can make men invisible.”

“Chief… ahhh… did you see these pigs?”

“Well, no… they were invisible.”

Max looked thoughtful for a second, then he said, “Well, I guess that proves it, all right. I was a little doubtful there for a moment, but as long as you actually didn’t see the pigs, then I guess there’s no doubt about it. Go on, Chief.”

“Our first contact with Dr. X-if it can be called that-occurred about a week ago,” the Chief continued. “We received a package in the mail, and when we opened it, it contained what appeared to be an empty suitcase. But there was a note attached. The note explained that Dr. X had developed a serum that could make men invisible, and that he was including in the suitcase six invisible guinea pigs to prove it.”

Max nodded. “Ah-hah!”

“Well, we were a little skeptical at first,” the Chief went on. “But then somebody suggested that somebody reach into the suitcase and squeeze. And… somebody did… and… well… something squealed.”

“Guinea pigs!” Max exclaimed.

“Right.”

“What else did the note say, Chief?” 99 asked.

“Dr. X offered to sell us the formula for the serum. We were to put a million dollars in the suitcase and mail it to him at the return address on the package.”

“Well?” Max said.

The Chief lowered his eyes. “As you know, Max, we’re on an economy kick around here. Our allocation for buying invisible-man-serums is only five-hundred thousand dollars. We just couldn’t meet the price. So, we mailed the suitcase back to Dr. X, with a note of our own offering to bargain.”

“Yes… and what happened.”

“We got another note from him-this time in a plain envelope,” the Chief said. “He was rather nasty about it.”

“What exactly did he say, Chief?”

“For one thing, he said ‘Fooey on you!’ ”

Max flinched. “Oh, that is nasty.”

“But he also said something else,” the Chief continued. “He informed us that he plans to sell the formula and the serum to KAOS.”

Max’s eyes opened wide in stark horror. “KAOS! That international organization of No-good-niks! Chief, that’s terrible! KAOS will use that serum for purposes of evil!”

“Exactly, Max,” the. Chief said, rising. “That’s why Dr. X has to be stopped and the formula has to be destroyed.” He began pacing the room. “Through clever undercover work,” he said, “we have discovered the next step in Dr. X’s plan.”

“How did you do that, Chief?” 99 asked.

“Well, since we had his return address, we knew where he lived. So, we secreted an agent into his house. The agent had himself bronzed and delivered to the house as a statue. Dr. X, of course, thought the delivery was a mistake. But, being only human, he kept the statue, anyway. Which was exactly what our man had counted on.”

“Brilliant,” Max said.

“Yes. Anyway, our man has advised us that Dr. X is sailing tomorrow for Europe. He intends to go to KAOS International headquarters and turn over the formula and the serum.”

“Chief, why don’t we stop him now-before he sails?” 99 asked.

“That’s not possible,” the Chief replied. “He has eluded our surveillance.”

“Pardon?” Max said.

“Rorff!” Fang barked.

Max looked surprised. “Oh, is that what it means? That he’s slipped away from our undercover man? I thought surveillance was some sort of exotic mushroom. You can imagine my surprise when I thought you said that Dr. X had eluded our mushroom.”

“Yes, Max.”

“It didn’t make sense.”

“Yes, Max.”

“How, exactly, did Dr. X elude our surveillance, Chief?”

“He disguised himself and slipped out of the house.”

“Disguised himself as what, Chief?”

“If we knew that, Max, he wouldn’t have eluded our surveillance.”

Max nodded. “Finally, something makes sense.”

“In other words, Chief,” 99 said, “we don’t know what this Dr. X will look like. How will we know him when we see him?”

“You will have one thing to go on,” the Chief replied. “He will be the only man on board the ocean liner who is carrying a suitcase that contains six invisible guinea pigs.”