Lawrence Block - No Score

It didn’t take long for both of us to get out of our clothes. Aileen had already been giving my groin some gentle feels now and then, so exposing myself was no big deal to me, and as for Gregor, I wasn’t very keenly aware of him just then.

Click !

I did have a second or so of concern after I got out of my shorts when I saw that she was looking at me. I guess every man who ever lived must have done a certain amount of worrying about his equipment at one time or another. And while I don’t think I was more hung up on the subject that most, there were times when I wondered whether it was too small, or funny looking, or ugly, or I don’t know what. Since I had no way of knowing how you could tell a pretty one from an ugly one, or how much was enough, there was no real way to avoid these worries completely.

So I had that flash of anxiety. But the next second Aileen’s eyes went from the area in question to my eyes, and she gave that grin again, the same as before, and her lips parted just wide enough to admit her tongue, and she ran her tongue hungrily around her lips, and got the most beautifully lustful look in her eyes—

Click !

I hadn’t felt so proud since I got my first quarter from the tooth fairy.

She touched me a little, and I’m sure the shutter went on clicking, but I didn’t hear it. Then she got up on the couch and stretched out on her back with her knees bent. She motioned me on top, and we touched bodies from chest to groin, and my thing proved it had a mind of its own by going straight for her thing. I no sooner touched her than she gave a quick twitch of her hips and got out of the way.

“Easy,” she murmured. “Remember the rules, Chip. The sign on the door says Private, remember? Admission Restricted To Authorized Personnel. ”

I wanted to cry with disappointment. I had begun to think, somewhere along the line, that all of that business about not going all the way had been, well, something we would conveniently forget when the time came. I had put it in the same bag with her statement that none of this was really sexual.

I thought about just going ahead and doing it. I could always pretend it was an accident, I thought. Just put it where it belonged and keep it there long enough to finish, and even if she thought it was rape, she wouldn’t be likely to go running through the streets shouting for a cop. And if she and Gregor got mad, well, the hell with them. Whatever happened, I would at least have done the one thing on earth I really wanted to do.

Lots of luck. I gave a well-intentioned thrust, and the shutter clicked behind me, and Aileen got out of the way with no trouble at all.

“Naughty,” she whispered. “Bad boy.”

I guess I could never make it as a rapist.

At this point it really did become pretty artificial and mechanical and phony. We stopped pretending and just went through the motions as quickly and effortlessly as possible, and it made for a lot less nervousness for both of us (and maybe for all three of us, because I don’t think Gregor was happy seeing his faithful wife an inch away from technical infidelity). So what we did was just get quickly into a position, take shots of it from two different angles, and then get into another position. I had done a lot of extracurricular reading over the years — I suppose that’s pretty obvious, for Pete’s sake — but even with all the times I went through the Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga and Eros and Capricorn and The Perverted Village I had never quite realized how many different positions there are to not quite have sexual intercourse in.

Click !

Click !

Clickety clickety click !

By the time Gregor suggested we all stop for a cigarette break, I had reached a stage where I was just as glad to relax for a while. Not that I was relaxed in any meaningful sense of the word. I mean, face it, this wasn’t a relaxing way to spend the evening. It just plain wasn’t.

“Got some great shots,” he said through a cloud of blue-gray smoke. “You want to know something, keed, you’re a natural born actor. And how about the wife, huh? One great little actress.”

He turned the key in the lock, peeked out. “Nobody home,” he said. “Hang on a minute.”

While he was gone I whispered to Aileen that I was going out of my mind.

“Poor baby,” she said.

“I mean I don’t think I can walk.”

“You forgot the rules for a minute there, Chip. I’ve never done it with anyone but Greg. Not since I met him, and it’s been almost six years now. You have to understand.”

“I suppose so.”

“You know, you’re very nice looking.”

“Oh, come off it.”

“You mean you don’t know it yourself? You’re a good-looking guy, and you’ve got a dreamy body.”

“Cut it out. My bones stick out, for Pete’s sake.”

“I like the way you look.”

“I mean—”

“I think we’ll look good together.”

She was beginning to get to me all over again. I started to say something, God knows what, but then Gregor came back in with his bottle of shitty peach-flavored brandy. I had the most unbelievable urge to take the bottle and shove it up his ass. I had the feeling that if I could just get him out of the picture, him and his goddamned camera, I could spend the rest of my life balling Aileen, and I couldn’t think of any way I’d rather spend it.

He was saying that he thought we were all entitled to a drink. He tended to think of alcohol as a reward. I didn’t know if I could hack the taste of that crud just then.

Aileen said, “Honey, I think just a short one, unless you’re out of film.”

“There’s plenty,” he said. “Why?”

“I thought like one more roll, that’s all. I didn’t do anything oral.”

“I didn’t know you were going to do that,” he said warily. “I didn’t even think of it.”

“Well, it would be a case of faking it, really.”

“I suppose,” he said. “Son of a bitch, if they don’t go for that stuff. You sure you want to?”

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

I went over and sat on the couch while he took a quick pull on the brandy bottle and then disappeared beneath the black cloth and went to work loading the camera with a fresh roll. Aileen finished her cigarette and came over and sat down next to me.

I reached for her.

“Not just yet,” Gregor called out cheerfully. “I’ll be set in a sec, keed.”

“Aileen,” I whispered, “you’ll drive me up the walls.”

“Poor baby.”

“Look, I—”

She ran her tongue over her lips. This was a little trick of hers that didn’t exactly leave me cold when she did it first thing in the morning over instant coffee and cold cornflakes. Now it was absolutely criminal.

“You’ll like this,” she said.

“Ready to roll,” Gregor said.

“God in Heaven,” I said.

“Lie down, baby.” Her mouth was inches from my ear, blowing into it as she whispered. “Poor baby has had a mean night, huh? Mama will fix.” Her hand moved over my chest and belly. My stomach contracted violently. “Ticklish,” she murmured, blowing into my ear some more. The hand went on its merry way and grabbed. “Got small again,” she said. “But Mama’s gonna fix that, too.”

Click !

I really felt like a baby, too. I lay there like a lump and felt so small and weak and helpless and so goddamned young I wanted to curl up and die. She kissed me on the mouth, and then on the throat, and then her mouth moved downward so that her long blond hair brushed over my face and chest and stomach.

Click !

I had my eyes closed, and my body was sort of stretched out the way you do when you float on your back in a swimming pool. I had that same kind of buoyant feeling, too.