Amanda Stevens - Confessions of the Heart

“If you’d rather I take this to another agency, I’ll understand. And there won’t be any hard feelings. No…repercussions.”

He shook his head. “I said I’d look into it, and I will. I just hope you know what you could be letting yourself in for.”

“I do. And I want you to know that I’m not going to hurt anyone with this information. Whatever you find out will stay between us.” She paused again. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but this is something I have to do. I have to make sure…”

“You deserve your new heart?”

His insight stunned her. “Yes, exactly,” Anna murmured. “And I can tell by your expression what your opinion is on the subject.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.” He stood, drawing the meeting to an end. “I’ll be in touch.”

He didn’t bother seeing her out.

Anna felt deeply unsettled as she headed up Travis Street toward her apartment in the old Cullen Bank Building on Main. The weather didn’t help. It was after four and the late-afternoon traffic was starting to stack up on the streets, but she was only one of a handful of pedestrians on the sidewalks. The rain had driven everyone else down into the tunnels. Even the terrace at Cabo’s, a trendy Mexican restaurant and bar, looked damply forlorn in the drizzle.

Crossing the intersection at Preston, Anna began to experience a strange sensation of being watched. She glanced over her shoulder, saw no one behind her, and continued on toward Congress. She waited for the light, and then crossed the street. As she hurried toward her building, her gaze was inexplicably drawn to the covered bus stop at the corner.

A man stood inside, staring at the slow-moving traffic on Congress. He had his back to Anna, but something about him looked familiar. He was tall, with closely cropped dark hair and broad shoulders beneath a black shirt.

Her stomach fluttered as she stood watching him. For a moment, she thought he was the man from the elevator, and something told her to run—not walk—away from him. To hurry inside her building, rush up to her ninth-floor apartment and lock the door behind her.

But she couldn’t seem to move. And then, as if sensing her scrutiny, he turned slowly to stare at her. Anna caught her breath, realizing at once why he’d seemed familiar to her.

Her ex-husband smiled as he left the shelter of the bus stop and started toward her.

“Hello, Anna.”

“Hays,” she said in surprise. Her hand had gone automatically to her heart, and now she self-consciously dropped her arm to her side. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.” Moisture glinted in his dark hair. “I saw you getting on the elevator in the Chase Tower, and I tried to catch you, but you didn’t go up to your office.” He shrugged. “I figured you had to come this way sooner or later.”

His excuse sounded a bit convenient to Anna although plausible, she supposed. Hays worked for an oil and gas exploration company headquartered in the Chase Tower, which was how they’d first met.

She decided to play the meeting by ear. “So why did you want to see me?”

“I’ve been working out of the Dallas office for the past several months, and I just got back in town a few days ago. I heard what happened.” His gaze dropped very briefly to her chest. “I guess I needed to see for myself that you were okay.”

Anna wanted to accept his concern at face value, but there was something in his eyes that made her say warily, “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble. You could have just called.”

“Like I said, I needed to see for myself.” He stared down at her. “Can I ask you something?”

Anna shrugged. “Sure.”

“How does it feel to have someone else’s heart beating inside your chest?”

How was she supposed to answer that? Should she tell him she felt an appreciation bordering on reverence for her new heart? That she was deeply humbled by a second chance she’d done nothing to deserve? That she felt an almost spiritual connection with the woman who’d given her the ultimate gift?

She could tell him all those things, but she could never make Hays or anyone else understand if they’d never walked in her shoes.

“It feels just like my own,” she said, but that wasn’t altogether true.

He cocked his head. “I heard about this guy once. He got a new heart just like you, and he suddenly developed a strange affinity for pasta. Spaghetti, fettuccini, you name it. He never could stand the stuff before, but suddenly he couldn’t get enough of it. Turned out his donor had loved Italian food.” Hays arched an eyebrow. “How about it, Anna? Had any strange cravings since your surgery?”

“Not that I’ve noticed.”

“What, no new abilities or talents?”

“No.” She shivered a bit in the light rain. “But…I have changed.”

One brow shot up again. “How so?”

She hesitated, unsure how to phrase what she wanted to say, but more important, not certain how he would take it. “I’m glad you came here to wait for me, Hays, because there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time.” She adjusted the collar of her raincoat, buying herself a moment of time. “I regret the way things ended between us. I still think divorce was the only answer for us, but I’m sorry you were hurt by it.”

His eyes widened, as if he were stunned by the apology, then he gave a low, bitter laugh. “God, Anna, who are you trying to kid?”

“I’m serious,” she said, a little wounded by his reaction. “I’m deeply sorry that I hurt you.”

He took a quick step toward her and put a hand underneath her chin, tilting her face up to his. He wasn’t a tall man, but he’d always worked out, always kept his physique lean and muscular. At five-six, Anna had never felt threatened or intimidated by his physical superiority, but now, gazing up at him, she saw something in his eyes she’d never seen before. The bitterness and the resentment were the same, the anger hadn’t changed, but now there was another, darker emotion she couldn’t quite name.

She wanted to move away from him, away from his touch, but something of the old Anna wouldn’t let her cower away. She remained still, gazing up at him with what she hoped was a nonprovoking expression.

His gaze took on a mocking glint, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “Why, Anna,” he said softly. “If I didn’t know better, I might think they’d given you a soul along with that new heart. But the problem is…” His features hardened almost imperceptibly. “I do know you.”

He was still holding her face up to his, his dark eyes now burning into hers. Something smoldered in those black depths, something not quite sane, Anna feared.

Dear God, what had happened to him since their divorce? He’d been bitter and angry over the breakup, but she’d never considered him dangerous.

But now…the way he was looking at her…

Anna suddenly wondered if Hays was behind the phone calls. If he had a deeper, darker motive for his visit.

And she remembered just as suddenly the bouts of moodiness during their marriage. The bursts of temper. The way he would sometimes disappear for days at a time. He’d always blamed their marriage difficulties on her career, and Anna hadn’t bothered to dispute him because she knew her ambition was a big part of their problem. But now she realized that their incompatibility went deeper than that. Much deeper.

“I once thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. That blond hair.” He tucked a strand behind her ear. “Those dark eyes. And a body any man would kill to possess. But look at you now.” His gaze roamed over her, taking in her pale complexion, her frail frame. “Do you know what you’ve become, Anna? You’re a freak, a modern-day Frankenstein.”