Megan Stine - Long Shot

“Hey, the Ark has a V-8 engine,” Pete said.

“Yeah,” Bob said, “but it drives like it’s running on V8 juice .”

Pete laughed and spied the hot-fudge sundaes in the microwave. “Hey, thanks, guys,” he said. He had one half-eaten by the time he reached the table and swung his leg over to sit down backward on a chair. “What’s the crisis?”

Bob answered. “I volunteered Jupe to be the Shoremont mascot at the basketball game tomorrow night. He’s got to wear a parrot costume.”

“He said honored . He said I’d be honored to be their parrot,” Jupe moaned.

“Jupe, I don’t think this parrot bit is such a bad idea,” Bob said. “I mean, look how we hung around Duggan’s office after Steve’s accident and got asked to leave. But if you’re the parrot, you have a perfect excuse to hang around all the time. No one will question you. And that’s when we’ll strike!”

“Fine,” Jupe said. “I see the investigative possibilities. But what am I going to do at the game? I don’t do back flips, front flips, cartwheels, handstands, or splits. Have you guys got any constructive suggestions?”

“Sure, Jupe,” Bob said with a straight face. “Why don’t you just do what parrots always do?”

“What’s that?”

“Stand around making nasty comments while you preen and molt!”

“This is let’s talk sports for a Thursday night. It’s 7:20 and I’m Al Windsor,” said the radio announcer. “Back to our phones in a minute.”

Instantly commercials started playing on Pete’s car radio. Bob started singing along, and Jupe started grumbling from the back seat. “Al Windsor? That’s the guy who’s teaching my college speech class. Lose him! Let’s listen to the news.” He ruffled feathers on the Shoremont parrot costume next to him.

“Come on, Jupe, this is my favorite call-in show,” Pete said. “And anyway, we’ll be at the Shoremont gym in a minute.”

“Okay,” said Al Windsor, coming back on the air, “I’ve got Sam on the line from Hermosa Beach. How ya doin’, Sam? Let’s Talk Sports.”

“Hi, Al. I’m doing fine,” said the caller. “Listen, Al, I wanted to ask you about the Shoremont-Costa Verde basketball game tonight.”

“Big game, a must-win situation for both teams,” Al Windsor commented.

“Yeah, I know,” the caller said. “But did you see the paper this morning? I mean, the Costa Verde coach — Bernie Mehl — was really laying into Shoremont’s Coach Duggan.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” Al Windsor answered. “You’re talking about the big headline where Bernie Mehl said, and I quote, ‘Coach Duggan will do anything to win — and I mean anything’ ”

“Right,” the caller said. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, Sam, I can’t crawl into Bernie Mehl’s head,” Al Windsor said. “But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s bringing up those ugly rumors again — the ones about Coach Duggan paying his players a few years ago. It was a big scandal back in Boston, but nobody ever proved anything. And Duggan has been one terrific coach. My guess is, Bernie’s just trying to stir up a little trouble. We’ll see if he gets it tonight.”

Pete slapped the dashboard with his right hand and the radio snapped off. “Hey, Jupe, this is getting intense. Do you think Bernie Mehl is right about Duggan? Maybe Mehl knows more than he’s saying.”

“I’m not sure,” Jupe said. “But I did a little research on the Boston scandal today. From the newspaper accounts, it sounds like someone was paying the players. They just couldn’t pin it on Duggan. Anyway, keep your eyes open tonight. Maybe we’ll pick up a new clue.”

“Okay,” Pete said. “But I’ve been to Shoremont-Costa Verde games before. They’re always grudge matches to the death. You be careful, too.”

“Pete’s right,” Bob said. “This may not be the best game for your parrot debut. Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Oh, fine time to be worried about my safety,” Jupe said. “No, they want a parrot. And I’m prepared to give them one they’ll never forget,” he added mysteriously. “Just watch me.”

Pete pulled into the three-story concrete garage behind Shoremont’s gym. He wound around the ramps to the top level, and Jupe climbed out of the car.

“See you guys after the game,” Jupe said. He wrapped his arms around the bulky bird costume and carried it over to the elevator.

A few minutes later, alone in a small room reserved for the parrot, Jupe began to dress. Outside in the gym, marching bands were playing and cheerleaders were stirring up the crowd.

“Shoremont!” half the crowd shouted.

“Costa Verde!” the other half shouted back.

Jupe listened to the crowd as he connected wires and put in fresh batteries and then attached a small microphone to his T-shirt neck. Then he put on the costume over his T-shirt and jeans.

“Testing one, two, three,” Jupe said into the microphone. His voice came out of little speakers in his wings. It worked!

Finally Jupe slipped the parrot head on, fastening it with Velcro patches to the body of the costume. This was definitely one of the weirdest things he had ever done in his long history of crimebusting. But Jupe didn’t care. He felt invulnerable in the costume as he left the locker room and walked onto the gymnasium floor.

A cheer went up the moment the Shoremont fans saw the parrot. Jupe could see them all watching him, waiting to see what kind of acrobatics he would do.

Sweat began to bead on his forehead. Could he really go through with his plan? He paused on the sidelines, not sure how to begin. Meanwhile both teams were warming up on the court.

Finally Jupe took a deep breath and ran out into the center of the gym floor. The crowd cheered.

“Uh — oh! Uh — oh!” Jupe called out in a harsh parrot’s voice. “You lose! You lose!” He jumped around and pointed to the Costa Verde players, who stopped taking practice shots to see who was making that sound.

“Give up! Quit now!” Jupe the parrot cried in a shrill voice. “Quit now! You lose!”

The Shoremont crowd started laughing and cheering. A moment later they picked up Jupe’s cry.

“ Quit now! You lose! ” The whole gymnasium seemed to be chanting.

The Costa Verde players looked stunned. One of them started to come after Jupe. But Jupe ducked and dodged, which made the crowd laugh even more. Then Bernie Mehl, the Costa Verde coach, came onto the court to tell his players to settle down and ignore the parrot.

But no one else wanted to ignore him. They loved him! Jupe jumped around some more, feeling bolder. Whatever the parrot said, the crowd echoed it. Jupe was leading more cheers than the cheerleaders!

When the game started, Jupe had to stay on the sidelines. But that didn’t stop him from shouting his comments into the game.

“Uh — oh! Watch out! You lose, number 32! You couldn’t even slam-dunk a donut!”

The crowd roared with laughter.

“Hey, number 52! Give up! Give up! Babies dribble better than you!”

Nora, the captain of the Shoremont cheerleaders, pulled Jupe aside.

“Be careful, Jupe,” she said. “The Costa Verde players are giving you some mean looks.”

“Who cares?” Jupe said. The show-off in him couldn’t seem to stop. Every time a Costa Verde player missed a shot, Jupe would jump up and yell “Bird-brain! Uh — oh! Birdbrain!”

At the end of the game the score was Shoremont 64 — Costa Verde 60, but Jupe felt like the real winner. All the cheerleaders rushed over to thank him. Sarah, with the short dark hair, gave him the biggest smile. Jupe was practically floating!