Megan Abbott - Phoenix Noir

“I like Brenda and I haven’t seen her in a while,” Julie said. Brenda was so much fun. And there was Bob Crane.

“Keep your head,” Carl advised, looking in the mirror above the bar. “You know what I’m saying.”

The Safari was one of her favorite places. Once she saw Angie Dickinson walk through the lobby in a white bikini. But the coffee shop was quiet that night and she didn’t see Brenda and Bob. “They were here, but they left,” the waitress said. “He’ll probably be back later.”

Julie looked at the napkin for Bob’s address, then decided to drive over to the Winfield Apartments.

On the way, she tried to remember the Hogan’s Heroes theme song. It kind of made you want to march. What was that thing the fat guy in the helmet always said on the show, “I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing...”? She wondered if Bob was still friends with the Family Feud guy. Maybe he’d come to town too.

Brenda really knew how to make a scene. Julie’d met her by the pool at the Camelback Inn awhile back. Brenda was stomach-down on a deck chair, barelegged, wearing a Mott the Hoople T-shirt and sunglasses. Purple eye shadow smeared across one temple.

“Hey,” she’d said, twisting around to talk to Julie, cross-legged on a beach towel. “I know you.”

“I don’t think so,” Julie answered.

“No, no, man, I know you,” she said, propping herself up on her elbows. “You have freckles behind both knees.”

Julie smiled. “You just saw that when I was doing my back.” But she knew she hadn’t turned over yet.

“It was awhile ago,” Brenda said, grinning. “You had the sharpest tan lines. You had the swimsuit with the keyhole in the front.”

Julie didn’t say anything.

“You shouldn’t have let him do that,” Brenda said, and she shook her head.

“What?” Julie started, feeling dizzy, wondering if she had sunstroke. “What are you talking about?”

Brenda shrugged. “Maybe it wasn’t you.”

They’d gone swimming and then to one of the rooms where Brenda was staying with two musicians. They were high and they had a bottle of rum and Julie drank some. They told the girls to get in the shower together and they did. It was fun and Brenda was beautiful with that long twisting hair, and it’d been a good time. They got free tickets to the concert at Feyline Field.

The air conditioner was going. It was cool in the apartment and there was one floor lamp on and the television set.

“Join the party, Julie,” Brenda said. She was naked and her white dress was on the floor. Julie felt overdressed in her uniform, though it was so short she couldn’t bend over, even to reach behind the bar.

“Welcome to Casa Bob,” Bob said, standing up in his undershorts.

There was a buzzing sound. She thought it was the air unit, but it wasn’t. It was the camera running in the corner, on a big tripod.

“Look,” Brenda said, pointing to the television. “Bob’s on TV again.”

“I never left,” Bob said.

Julie glanced over at the television and it was Bob and Brenda having sex on the sofa. Brenda’s head was in Bob’s lap, her blond hair white on the screen and spread in all directions.

“Julie,” Brenda said, “Bob can help so you too can make it on the big screen. Or small screen.”

“Baby, I can make you a star,” Bob said, smiling at Julie.

“Can I have a drink?” Julie asked. She thought a drink would be a good idea.

“She likes Southern Comfort,” Brenda said, tucking her legs beneath her on the striped sofa.

“I’m sorry,” Bob said. “I just moved in and I don’t drink. But I want to make Julie happy. Someone brought me some Scotch at the theater. Do you like Scotch, Julie?”

“I like Scotch, Bob.”

He smiled again and said he was glad. “I like that place,” he added, talking about the Safari. “Did you ever roast cocktail weenies in that big charcoal fireplace?”

Julie grinned and drank her Scotch. Brenda was tugging at the back of her uniform, trying to drag the zipper down. Julie tried not to giggle. “Carl sure couldn’t handle this,” she said.

“I go there every night,” Bob said. “I like the coffee shop.”

Julie felt the cold air hit her shoulders and breasts. Brenda ran her hands down Julie’s stockings and hooked her fingers underneath to pull them off.

Julie peered at Bob, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, wearing his glasses so he could look back and forth between the television and her.

She wondered why he wasn’t on TV anymore, and why he was here, like this. She hadn’t been to his play at the Windmill, but she bet it was terrific.

“You seem like a good person, Julie,” Bob said. And there was something in his eyes and it made Julie feel funny, even sad, and it must’ve been the Scotch, which sometimes brought her down.

“I am,” Julie said, as Brenda pulled the stockings from her feet. “I am a good person.”

“Bob,” Brenda asked, “would you like to see how good she is? Would you like to watch me? I can make her beautiful.” Brenda wrapped her arms around Julie’s stomach and nuzzled her neck.

“She’s already beautiful,” Bob said.

“I can make her more.”

“You can try.”

In the living room, when it was going down, Julie couldn’t stop looking around, couldn’t stop thinking, This is happening, wow, isn’t this a trip, Colonel Hogan himself, and she looked at the camera on its big tripod and the stack of cassettes in the corner, and she saw a leather jacket on the floor in the corner and she wondered if that was the jacket he wore on the show and wouldn’t she like to get into that, and her eyes caught her reflection on the TV screen and there she was and she saw herself and Bob Crane and she saw her eyes and they were startled. And she saw Brenda and Brenda was looking too. Brenda was staring and her dark eyes looked so big Julie thought they might swallow the screen.

They ended up in the bedroom. Bob walked behind her, putting his hand in her hair. They had sex on the bed. The buzzing in Julie’s ears was making her head hurt and the Scotch was making her dizzy. It seemed liked everything in the apartment was plugged in and running.

The room was dark and at one point it was just her and Bob and the light from the living room flashed on his face, above her. And it was that face, and she thought, it’s like getting it on with the slick cover of a TV Guid e. But it wasn’t really like that. It wasn’t like that and she couldn’t name it, but looking in his eyes, it was doing things to her. It felt like something had passed over between them. She was seeing something and it made her so sad, all of a sudden. She felt her face wet and she thought, I’m crying. I’m crying. Why am I crying?

Later she couldn’t be sure if it had happened.

After, she and Brenda went back into the living room. Brenda put her dress on and helped Julie zip her uniform back up.

They were giggling at first, and talking. It was like a slumber party, curled upon the sofa.

“I’m getting back into music,” Brenda was saying. “Steve bought me a keyboard. Maybe Bob can help me. He used to be a big deejay in L.A. He knows people in the biz.”

“Maybe,” Julie said, and she felt a little sick. She thought she should lie down.

She leaned into the corner of the sofa and Brenda kept talking, on and on, and Julie fell asleep.

“Do you hear that?”

Julie’s eyes flew open and Brenda’s face was big in front of hers, her hand grabbing Julie’s wrist.

“What?” Julie said, trying to prop herself up. “What?”

“Do you hear voices?” Brenda whispered, loudly.

Julie couldn’t hear anything.