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Erle Gardner: Beware the Curves

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Erle Gardner Beware the Curves

Beware the Curves: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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Unfettered, unfiltered, unorthodox Bertha Cool and Donald Lam have four of the least likely and most popular private eyes in the business — and they’ve never been in sharper focus! It’s always exciting when Erle Stanley Gardner assumes his favorite pseudonym of A. A. Fair and lets her rip! This new mystery novel is exhibit A proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that Bertha Cool and Donald Lam are among the most ingenious and inventive characters in mystery fiction. Here is all the old sweet-and-sour, plus the catchiest plot ever dissected by the intrepid twosome. Bertha is at her toughest and funniest, and Donald is at top form knowing and debonair. Beware the Curves

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I said, “Calm down, Bertha. The guy is a writer. Someone gave him an idea for a plot in Paris six years ago. He doesn’t make much money. It was a factual story the man gave him, but he’s going to turn it into fiction and make a novel out of it. So he wants to find the guy, and quite naturally he employs a detective agency to locate this bird. It’s just routine.”

Bertha shook her head as the full implications of what I was saying dawned on her.

“Fry me for an oyster!” she exclaimed.

“Exactly,” I told her.

“I never thought of it that way,” Bertha said.

“Start thinking of it that way now,” I told her.

“Well, what the hell does he really want?” she asked.

“Perhaps we can find out by tomorrow afternoon. It could be that he’s writing an article on detective agencies, exposing the manner in which they try to stick their customers exorbitant fees for simple jobs.

“You know the way some of those newspapers do. They send a person with a perfect radio around to the different radio repair shops and see how many of the shops hook the guy for new tubes, elaborate repairs, and things of that sort.”

“Pickle me for a goddam beet!” Bertha said.

I walked out.

Chapter 2

The newspaper office opened at eight-thirty. I was there at eight-thirty-five. I said I wanted to see the back files of six years ago.

No one even asked me who I was. I was given the back files all nicely bound together.

On the assumption that a honeymoon in Paris in July of six years ago probably meant a June wedding, I concentrated on the June issues, and by eight-forty-seven was looking at a picture of Karl Carver Endicott, flanked by a picture of Elizabeth Flanders. The bride had been employed as a secretary in a local law office. Karl Carver Endicott was the town big shot, orange groves, oil wells — “popular young businessman... far flung oil empire.”

I made my notes, handed the papers back to the girl at the desk. The girl thanked me and smiled. She put her toe on a concealed buzzer button. I could see her weight shift. She wanted to be damn certain the alarm sounded.

I heard the buzzer in the inner office. A door opened and a young chap with long hair and sharp eyes came out of the inner office. He pretended to be looking for something, then his eyes came to focus on me. “Oh, hello,” he said, “anything I can do for your?”

“Thanks, I’m all taken care of.”

“Nothing I can help you with?”

“Nothing.”

It was okay by me. It just showed they were on the job. A man shows up from outside of town, wants to go through the files of the paper of six years ago. It might be nothing. It might be a story. If it was a story, naturally they wanted it. They didn’t want a competitive paper to get it. If it was nothing, they didn’t want to waste time.

I decided to let them know it was nothing.

The girl behind the counter said, “He was just looking over some of the back files.”

The reporter said, “Oh, yes,” and looked at me inquiringly.

I laughed. “Doing a little research work on increase in property values. Attractive land was advertised as being for sale six years ago, and I wanted to find the price it sold for.”

“Did you?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Just found that the property was for sale. I’ve got to hunt up the realtor now and try to find out what I can about price. It may not be too easy.”

“It may not,” the young man agreed. “Of course it would depend somewhat upon whether it was business property or ranching property.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” I said.

He grinned.

I could have walked out at that time and nothing would have happened, but I had been lulled into a sense of security. I had had things so easy I wanted to get it all buttoned up.

“By the way,” I said, “there’s a chap by the name of Endicott here who has some acreage for sale I understand.”

“Endicott?” he said.

“Karl Carver Endicott,” I told him.

The reporter tried to swallow the expression of startled surprise on his face and didn’t make a good job of it. The girl back of the counter dropped a dating stamp she was holding in her hand, and didn’t stoop to pick it up.

The reporter gulped a couple of times and said, “Did you know Endicott?”

“Shucks, no!” I said. “I’m interested in property, not people.”

“I see.”

“I could be looking for a lease,” I told him.

“You could,” he said.

Well, I’d gone that far. I might as well go the rest of the way. “All right,” I said. “What’s wrong with Endicott?”

“It depends on how you look at it.”

“He still lives here, doesn’t he?”

“He’s a short distance outside of the city.” The blue eyes were watching me as a cat watches a rat hole.

“There’s just a chance,” I said, “I may know the guy at that. I met an Endicott who came from this part of the country several years ago. He was abroad on his honeymoon.”

“I see,” the reporter said.

“Look,” I said, “is anything wrong with Karl Endicott? Has he got the plague, or something?”

“Karl Endicott,” he said, “was murdered a short time after he returned from his honeymoon. In case you’re interested there’s a reward of twenty-five thousand dollars for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person or persons responsible for his death. And if you’re snooping around on a live lead we’d sure appreciate getting the story.”

“Murdered?”

“Murdered.”

“Who offered the reward?”

“The Board of Directors of his company, Endicott Enterprises.”

“Well,” I said, “it’s nice having met you.”

“You haven’t met me yet.”

I grinned, “No, I didn’t get your name, but of course I know who you are,” and then added, “and I guess murder cases don’t have anything to do with scouting out pieces of property.”

I walked out of the door.

I’d driven down to Citrus Grove in the agency heap and had parked the damn thing almost in front of the door. I didn’t dare get into the car so I walked over to a real estate office. I went in and chatted generalities with the realtor for a few minutes about this and that and these and those. I went out and had breakfast. I walked over to the public library, found it didn’t open until ten o’clock, went to another real estate office, went to a phone booth and thumbed through the telephone directory.

The reporter was still following me.

I saw an officer going around checking the parking time on automobiles. The last thing I could afford was to have the car tagged, so I went to a restaurant, had a cup of coffee, went toward the back where there was a sign “Rest Rooms,” closed the door behind me and walked out to the kitchen.

The cook, scooping up fried eggs from a hot plate, motioned with his thumb and said, “Over that way, buddy.”

I just grinned at him, walked through the kitchen and out into an alley.

I walked rapidly down the alley, detoured a block, then cut across to my car as fast as I could walk without running.

The officer was just putting a tag on the car and the reporter was standing beside him with his notebook. I said to the officer, “I’m sorry, officer. I was just coming to get in the car.”

“You’re a little late.”

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