Lisa Ballantyne - Guilty One

First they walked through estates, then a park, then a field with cows in it. As they walked, Minnie told Daniel about Brampton, although he told her he didn’t care. He wouldn’t be staying long.

Brampton was just two miles south of Hadrian’s Wall, she told him. When he said he had never heard of the wall, she said she would take him one day. It was ten miles to Carlisle and fifty-five miles to Newcastle.

Fifty-five miles , Daniel thought as he walked behind her.

‘You all right there, pet?’ she asked. ‘You’re looking right down in the mouth today.’

‘M’all right.’

‘What is it you like to do? Not used to boys, so I’m not. You’ll need to keep me up to date. What is it you like, eh? Football?’

‘I dunno,’ he said.

They passed the park and Daniel turned to look at the swings. There was a heavy-set man alone on one of them, letting his foot gently rock him.

‘Want to have a shot? We’ve got time, you know?’

‘That bloke’s there,’ he said, squinting at the sun which was now high in the sky.

‘That’s just Billy Harper. Billy’ll not bother you. He loves them swings. Always has. He’s all right. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Around here, pet, everyone knows everyone else. It’s the worst thing about the place, you’ll find out. But the good thing is once you have everyone’s measure you’ve nothing to fear. There’s no secrets in Brampton.’

Daniel thought about that: no secrets and everyone knowing your measure. He knew small places. He’d been put in a few of them, when his mam was sick. He didn’t like small places. He liked Newcastle. He wanted to live in London. He didn’t like people knowing his measure.

As if she had heard his thoughts, she said, ‘So you like Newcastle then?’

‘Aye,’ he said.

‘Would you like to live there again?’

‘I want to live in London.’

‘My, really? London, I think that’s a fine idea. I loved it there. If you grow up and move to London, what do you think you’ll be?’

‘I’ll be a pickpocket.’

Daniel thought she might tell him off then, but she turned and gave him a little push with her elbow. ‘Like Fagin, you mean?’

‘What’s that?’

‘Haven’t you seen Oliver Twist?’

‘Maybe. Aye, I think so.’

‘There’s an old man in that – pickpocket – comes to bad end.’

Daniel kicked at some stones. A cow turned in her path and moved towards him. Daniel jumped a little and skipped behind Minnie.

She laughed. ‘Och, lad, cows’ll not ’arm you. It’s the bulls you got to watch for. You’ll learn.’

‘How can you tell if it’s a cow or a bull?’

‘Well, lucky you. You’re here in Brampton. A town full of farmers – you can find out the answer.’

‘But that’s a cow, is it?’

‘It is.’

‘An old cow like you.’

She turned to him on the path, stopped walking and looked at him. She was out of breath a little and her cheeks were red. The light in her eyes had gone again. Daniel’s heart began to beat very fast, the way it did when he used to come home to his mam’s after being away. His heart would thump as he touched the door handle, not knowing what he would find behind the door.

‘Have I insulted you since you’ve been here?’

He looked at her, with his lips just parted.

‘Have I?’

He shook his head.

‘Speak up.’

‘You haven’t.’

‘All I ask is a similar courtesy. Do you understand?’

He nodded.

‘And while we’re at it, you know your time is soon up with that butterfly.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I said you could have it for a few days, but now I need it back. This evening, when you wash your face and brush your teeth, I want you to return it, do you understand?’

He nodded again, but her back was turned.

‘I said do you understand?’

‘Yes,’ he said, louder than he had meant.

‘Good,’ she said. ‘I’m glad we understand each other. Now let’s forget it.’

He followed her along the path, watching her boots in the grass and noticing that the back of her skirt was splashed with mud. His arms felt funny and he shook them to get the bad feeling out of them.

‘Look!’ she said to him, stopping and pointing at the sky. ‘Do you see it?’

‘What?’

‘A kestrel! See it with the pointed wings and long tail?’

The bird sculpted a wide arc in the sky and then perched on a high tree top. Daniel saw it, and raised his hand to see more clearly.

‘They’re beauties. We have to watch them from getting the chickens when they’re small, but I think they’re elegant, don’t you?’

Daniel shrugged.

When they got there, the school was an old building surrounded by run-down huts. He didn’t like the look of it, but followed Minnie up the steps. She hadn’t made an appointment and so they had to sit and wait. He didn’t like schools and he felt the ceiling of the place pressing down on him. Again, she seemed aware of how he felt.

‘It’s all right, pet,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to start here today. We just need to get you enrolled. After you’re all booked in, we’ll get you some new togs. You can choose them yourself. Within reason, mind you, I’m not made of money, like,’ she said, leaning into him.

She smelled almost floral. The definite ming of last night’s gin, but then the lemon and the damp smell of her wool, the chickens, and somehow the whiff of the summer grass they had brushed through as they walked to the school. For a moment, smelling her, he felt close to her.

The head teacher was ready to see them. Daniel expected Minnie to ask him to sit outside, but she pulled him up by the elbow and together they stepped inside the head teacher’s office. He was a middle-aged man, with thick glasses. Daniel hated him before he had even sat down.

Minnie took ages to get into the chair beside Daniel, in front of the head’s desk. She unwound her scarf and took off her coat and then spent time rearranging her cardigan and skirt. Daniel noticed that she had left muddy footprints which trailed from the waiting room into the office.

‘Minnie,’ said the head teacher. ‘Always a pleasure.’

Daniel could see from a triangular nameplate on his desk that his name was Mr F. V. Hart.

Minnie coughed and turned towards Daniel.

‘Yes,’ said Hart. ‘And whom do you have for us today?’

‘This is Daniel,’ said Minnie, ‘Daniel Hunter.’

‘I see, and how old are you, Daniel?’

‘Eleven,’ he said. His voice sounded strange in the room, like a girl’s. Daniel looked again at the carpet and Minnie’s muddy boots.

Mr Hart’s eyes narrowed as he regarded Daniel. Minnie opened her bag and put a piece of paper in front of Mr Hart. It was paperwork from Social Services. Mr Hart took it and lit his pipe at the same time, biting hard on to the stem and sucking until the dirty, heavy smoke drifted over Minnie and Daniel.

‘It seems we don’t have his papers in from the last school he was at. What was the last school he was at?’

‘Maybe you could ask him? He’s sitting right there.’

‘Well, Daniel?’

‘Graves School in Newcastle, sir.’

‘I see. We’ll request it. What kind of pupil were you there, Daniel, would you say?’

‘Dunno,’ he said. He heard Minnie breathe, and thought she might be smiling at him but when he turned she wasn’t looking at him. Hart raised his eyebrows and so Daniel added, ‘Not the best.’

‘Why do I sense that to be an understatement?’ said Hart, relighting his pipe and sucking until smoke blew down his nose.

‘This is your new start,’ said Minnie, looking at Daniel. ‘Isn’t it? You plan on being proper exemplary from here on in.’