Ann Cleeves: The Glass Room

‘I was there in the room,’ Joanna said. ‘But I didn’t kill him. I didn’t even see him. I suppose he must have been dead already.’ Despite the denial, she slid off the window seat and began to strip. She’d never been embarrassed by nudity. One very hot July day, Vera had caught her swimming naked in the tarn close to the farm. She’d laughed out loud at Vera’s surprise: W hy don’t you come in. It’s lovely!

Her body was still brown from working in the fields all summer. She was soft and supple. Vera saw a dressing gown on a hook on the door and threw it to her. She thought it might be better to start this story from the beginning. ‘What are you doing in this place, anyway?’

Joanna pulled the dressing gown around her and tied the cord. It was made of silk and looked like a kimono. She’d have picked it up for a few pence at a charity shop and brought it home in triumph to show off to Jack.

‘Should you be talking to me, without a lawyer?’ This was Joanna at her most imperious, and Vera was surprised.

‘Probably not,’ Vera said. ‘If you like, we can wait until we’re in the station and I can talk to you there. Lawyers, tape recordings. The works. Probably for the best. I haven’t cautioned you yet, and I’ll only get into bother when we get to court.’

A shadow seemed to pass over Joanna’s face. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I always get arsey when I’m scared.’

‘Jack said you’d stopped taking your pills.’

The mention of Jack threw her and, for a moment, Vera thought she might cry. ‘I did for a couple of weeks, but I’m back on them now. I saw it wasn’t the right time to stop. Maybe it never will be.’ She looked into Vera’s face and gave a wide smile. ‘You don’t need to worry. I’m not mad.’

And Vera thought now that was probably true. This was the Joanna she knew: loud and quirky, but rational enough. In which case, why had the woman stabbed a professor of English literature to death?

‘Tell me,’ she said again. ‘Why are you here?’

‘I thought I could write.’ Joanna seemed to be struggling to choose the right words. ‘At least, I thought I had something to say. I read an article about the Writers’ House in the Newcastle Journal. They were running a sort of competition. I sent in a piece. It was about France, about my life there. Bits of details that had stuck in my head. Anyway, I won and they awarded me a bursary. A week’s tuition. All free.’

‘Why didn’t you tell Jack you were coming to stay here? He wouldn’t have minded. He’d have been proud of you!’

‘He thinks it’s wrong to rake over the old days.’ Joanna turned briefly again to look out into the dark. All she would have seen was her own reflection in the glass. ‘He takes it personally. He thinks he should be enough for me.’

‘Because you’re enough for him?’ Vera said.

‘He adores me,’ Joanna said. ‘I should be grateful. I am grateful.’

Vera thought this was an odd sort of conversation to be having with a woman who’d been accused of sticking a knife into a man’s heart, but at least Joanna was now talking freely to her.

‘It’s a tricky sort of emotion, gratitude,’ Vera said. ‘It’s never come easily to me. I’d rather have people owing me a favour than the other way round.’

‘Yes,’ Joanna smiled again. ‘I’ve always felt that too.’

‘So winning this competition was a way for you to take off for a few days? Have a bit of time to yourself? Get away from Jack and the farm?’

Joanna leaned forward so that the long plait fell over her shoulder. ‘It wasn’t just that. It was a way of exploring my past, making sense of it. Of taking the time to go back and look at the events of my first marriage with fresh eyes.’

‘Eh, pet, that sounds more like therapy than stories to me!’

Joanna threw back her head and gave the rich, deep laugh that Vera remembered from parties and dinners at the farm, which took her away from this strange house with its piles of books and paper, back to a real world of lambing and freshly turned soil and rain. ‘You should have been here,’ Joanna said. ‘They should employ you to sit in on the workshops to stop students writing pretentious crap.’

‘I’m here,’ Vera said, serious again, ‘because a man’s dead.’

They sat for a moment, looking at each other in silence.

‘I didn’t kill him,’ Joanna said. ‘I didn’t like him very much, but I didn’t kill him.’

Vera was aware that if she continued to question Joanna she’d be crossing a line. In fact the line had already been crossed when she’d decided to come into this room on her own. The prime suspect in the case was Vera’s neighbour, could even be considered a friend, so there was a conflict of interest. She was on her own with the woman. No witness and no tape recorder, as she’d said before. She should call immediately for one of the local bobbies to escort Joanna to a waiting police car and drive her back to the station. They’d find her a duty solicitor and another member of the team should interview her. But Vera stayed where she was and said nothing. She was a detective, and listening was what she did best.

‘Tony wanted sex with me,’ Joanna went on. ‘In a way, it was quite flattering and for a moment I was tempted. He was good-looking in a smooth, boring kind of way, and it’s a long time since I’ve been propositioned. Completely out of the question of course.’

‘Why out of the question?’ Vera asked. She had imagined that the hippies went in for free sex. They seemed so relaxed with their bodies, and wasn’t that what hippies were famous for?

Joanna looked up sharply. ‘I didn’t fancy him,’ she said, as if the answer was obvious. ‘He wasn’t my type. And he was rather a horrid man.’

‘In what way horrid?’ Again Vera had intended not to ask any further questions. Soon Joe Ashworth would be here. She’d phoned him before coming to talk to Joanna. Then they could progress the interview in a more orthodox way. He could take the lead. But Vera wanted to know what had happened to provoke such grotesque violence, and at the moment Joanna was her best source of information, whether she was a suspect or witness.

‘He was greedy,’ Joanna said after a moment’s consideration. ‘I hate greed, don’t you? It’s such a mean, small-minded vice. As if money matters at all!’

‘It matters to lots of people,’ Vera said.

‘Only to people who have nothing of real value in their lives!’ There was the imperious tone again. ‘But I shouldn’t be rude about him, should I? He didn’t deserve to die. Nobody deserves to die before their time.’

‘Why did you go into the glass room?’ Vera asked. ‘Everyone knew it was his favourite place, apparently. If you disliked him so much, what were you doing there?’

‘I went because he asked me to. Obviously it was a foolish thing to do. But wisdom has never really been my bag.’

‘Perhaps you should explain.’ Again Vera felt that the conversation was spinning away from her. She needed facts. Time of death. Cause of death. A list of the people in the house. Something to anchor her to reality. She looked at her watch. Joe Ashworth could drive like a cautious sixty-year-old without Vera to urge him on. And she wouldn’t have put it past him to call in on his wife and bairns on the way through from Kimmerston. But even allowing for all that, he should be here soon. Joe had as much imagination as a louse and, when he arrived, she’d let him look after Joanna. The woman would be safe with him, mad or not, and he wouldn’t let himself be distracted by her ramblings on morality.

‘I knew he wanted to get inside my knickers,’ Joanna said. ‘So it would have been more sensible to stay away. But this was so exciting. I had to go, didn’t I? When I got the note, no way was I going to stay away.’