Ann Cleeves - The Moth Catcher

Sam had taken her for a walk along the beach. It was a gusty, showery day and the wind had blown her skirt and her hair, and the waves had been tumbling onto the sand. Later she’d sat in the little front room in her parents’ house; she’d cried as she told them the wedding was off, but she’d felt a tremendous exhilaration too. Her parents had tried to understand. ‘Are you sure, pet? I mean Sam? He’s a nice enough chap, but don’t you think he’s a bit boring?’

Now, sitting across the kitchen table from him, she thought he didn’t look very different from the farmer’s son who’d persuaded her that nobody else would love her as much as he did.

‘You know I’d do anything to make our Lizzie happy.’ There was the same expression as when he’d walked with her along that beach. Stubborn and kind of soppy at the same time. ‘She’s been nothing but trouble for years, but I still love her to bits.’

‘Why wouldn’t you go and visit her in prison?’

He gave a little shake of his head. ‘I couldn’t bear it. She’s not a girl who was meant to be trapped. It’d be like seeing a wild bird in a cage.’

‘This social worker says she’s changed.’

‘Oh, aye?’ His expression said that just because he loved his daughter, he hadn’t lost his senses.

‘Lizzie’s talking about going to college.’

‘Well, she’s talked about that before.’

‘The woman who works for the charity. Her name’s Shirley. She’s going to keep an eye on things, support Lizzie once she’s come out of prison.’ Annie reached out and touched his hand.

‘Aye, well, Lizzie’s had social workers before too.’

‘Young things, always rushing to be somewhere else. Thinking more about their careers than the folk they’re supposed to be helping.’ Annie was dismissive. ‘When you meet Shirley you’ll see she’s different. She seems to know what she’s talking about.’

‘When will I get to see her then?’ He frowned. He didn’t like meeting new people. Even their neighbours in Valley Farm made him feel a bit awkward until he’d had a couple of beers. Then he could be the life and soul.

‘She’s coming here on Monday. She said that’d give us a day to get settled with Lizzie, a bit of time to get to know each other again.’

Sam nodded. ‘That makes sense.’

‘We’ll need to tell the others.’ Annie nodded in the direction of the houses along the courtyard. ‘That Lizzie will be coming to stay with us.’

‘Why?’ For the first time in the conversation he sounded angry. ‘What business is it of theirs who lives in our house?’

Annie didn’t answer. She knew they had to tell their neighbours that their ex-offender daughter would be landing up in the community. They’d never met her, but Lizzie’s face had been all over the Kimmerston Herald when she got sent down. Even if she wanted to, Annie couldn’t pretend this was a different young relative who’d turned up out of the blue. ‘It’s none of their business, but best that they’re prepared. It’ll make things less awkward.’ She thought she’d go and tell them this afternoon. Friday night was when they got together for drinks and a shared supper. To mark the start of the weekend, for people who didn’t have any other structure in their lives. She didn’t want to blurt it out then.

Sam shrugged. ‘If you think that’s best. You’re better at this sort of thing than me.’

She cut another slice of the bread that he’d baked for her. It was still warm and the butter melted and dribbled over her fingers.

‘You could be married to that lawyer,’ he said suddenly. He’d been thinking of the day when he’d turned up at her parents’ place too. The walk on the beach. ‘A big house, perfect kids.’

‘Nobody’s perfect.’ She couldn’t think of anything else to say, then added, ‘But you come pretty close.’

Annie went to Janet’s first. She thought Janet would be easier. She’d been a sort of social worker, a bit like Shirley Hewarth. John was in the study they’d made for him at the top of the house, so the house was quiet apart from Radio 4 burbling in the kitchen. The Carswells’ dogs were asleep in the sun near the French window at the back of the room. Janet was reading one of the heavy newspapers they always bought. Her glasses had slid to the end of her nose.

‘He moved downstairs to work when he got that cold.’ Janet switched on the kettle. ‘What a nightmare! I had no peace. He kept calling for hot drinks. And there were papers everywhere. I was so glad when he took himself back upstairs. You don’t think of that when you retire – that you don’t have any space to yourself.’

‘So he’s feeling better?’ Annie didn’t really care, but she supposed she should show some interest.

‘Much.’

The Archers theme tune came on and Jan turned off the radio. ‘I heard it last night. John says that the programme’s drivel, but I never miss it.’

‘Lizzie’s being released this weekend.’ Annie hadn’t meant to be so abrupt, but perhaps there was no other way to pass on the information. ‘I thought you should know. She’s coming to live with us for a while.’

‘Of course she is,’ Janet said. ‘You’ll be so pleased to have her home.’

‘Yes, I will.’ And Annie thought she really meant that. It would be exciting to get to know her daughter properly. Perhaps for the first time. She pushed her anxieties about Lizzie getting drunk and wild, and causing a nuisance to their new friends, to the back of her mind.

They drank their coffee sitting next to the dogs. ‘I’ll miss them when the Carswells get back.’ Janet was stroking the back of the old female. Annie could tell she was just waiting to hear whatever Annie had to tell her. She wouldn’t ask intrusive questions.

‘I’m scared too,’ Annie said. ‘That we’ll get it wrong again and she’ll storm away and get mixed up with all those dreadful people. That she’ll get bored and cause bother for you. She was always a nightmare as soon as she was bored.’

‘Maybe she’s just grown up a bit.’

‘I do hope so.’ But Annie couldn’t bring herself to believe that people ever changed that much. ‘We won’t be hosting drinks next Friday,’ she said. ‘I know it’s our turn, but we thought it’d be a bit much for Lizzie. First weekend out.’

‘Well, she’s a bit young for the retired hedonists!’ Jan laughed. ‘Anyway, of course you’ll want to be on your own for a bit. Nigel and Lorraine can come here. I can’t imagine Nigel wanting a Friday night without a bit of a party. And we’ll all be getting together as usual tonight.’ She was still stroking the Labrador at her feet. ‘Do you want me to tell next door about Lizzie?’

‘Nah.’ Annie was feeling more confident now. She was thinking how lucky they were to have chosen to live at Valley Farm, where they’d made such good friends. ‘I’ll go round now.’

‘Have you heard any more about the murders?’ Janet threw that out just as Annie was at the door.

Annie shook her head. It occurred to her that she hadn’t thought about the dead men all day.

Nigel let her into the farmhouse. ‘Hiya!’

He always sounded just a little bit too jolly. He tried too hard to fit in. Perhaps that was because he and Lorraine didn’t come from the North-East. Jan had a Scottish voice, but she’d lived and worked in Newcastle for years.

‘Can I get you something? One of my famous coffees? A cup of tea?’ He had a fancy coffee machine. One of his toys.

‘A cappuccino would be lovely, Nige.’ Because that was what he wanted to hear. ‘Is Lorraine in?’ Annie thought it would be easier talking to them both.

‘She’s working upstairs. I’ll give her a shout.’