M. Arlidge - Eeny Meeny

A visible reaction from the team, but no one was prepared to interrupt Helen in this mood, so she carried on.

‘Marie and Anna Storey. I helped save them from the mob. Ben Holland, born James Hawker, was about to be murdered by his deranged father when I intervened. Martina, our prostitute, was in fact Matty Armstrong, a rent boy who was tortured and abused by a gang of men, until me and my colleague saved him.’

Another murmur from the team.

‘Diane Anderson, then pregnant, was in a pile-up near Portsmouth. Louise Tanner and I were working in Traffic then and we helped save her and her unborn baby, Amy. Diane never came forward because she wasn’t travelling with her husband at the time… but she’s admitted it now.’

‘And Mickery?’ - finally someone dared ask a question. McAndrew was the brave one this time.

‘Mickery and Sandy were a bonus. A little joke at our and their expense. The killer obviously thought we weren’t catching on quick enough so decided to send us a message. Mickery was released on the condition that she seek me out with the following phrase: “I commend you.”’

The phrase hung heavy in the air. No one ventured a response.

‘I was given official police commendations for all but one of the incidents I just mentioned. Our killer has deliberately targeted people whom I helped and has endeavoured to destroy them. It doesn’t matter to her if they are killed or do the killing. They are ruined either way. She enjoys that unknown quantity, it gives the whole show an element of surprise for her.’

The obvious question was ‘Who’s the killer?’, so Helen was impressed by Charlie’s response.

‘Did you receive any other commendations?’

Another buzz from the team, then Helen replied:

‘Yes, one. A young Australian called Stephanie Bines. She was working as a barmaid in Southampton. She witnessed a shooting down near the docks, opted to testify and then an attempt was made on her life. We protected her that day and the arrests we made helped send a whole gang to jail. I’ve already sent uniform to her last known address, but I want a couple of you on to it straight away. Not you, Charlie.’

Charlie sat back down as Helen nominated two other members of the team. Then Helen pulled her aside.

‘I want you to do something else for me and I want you do it as quietly and carefully as possible. Understood?’

Charlie nodded.

‘Louise Tanner was working with me the day we pulled Amy and the other kids from the wrecked bus.’

Helen hesitated briefly – was this the right move? – then carried on.

‘She didn’t… she didn’t cope too well in the aftermath. Never went back on full duty again and dropped off the radar completely a little while later. I want you to find out everything you can about where she’s been and what’s she been doing and you tell me and me alone, ok?’

‘Of course, boss. I’m already on to it.’

‘But before you go, I need to have a chat with you about something else. There’s going to be the mother of all situations here soon and I need you to help me manage it.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Mark is innocent. He didn’t sell us out.’

Charlie looked at her, eyes wide. She had destroyed his life and was wrong?

‘I know who did sell us out. And it’s going to tear this place apart. I’m going to need you by my side to keep everyone calm and focused. Corruption is one thing, but we’ve got a killer to catch. Whatever happens here, I want us to keep driving forward until the job is done. Can I rely on you?’

‘Hundred per cent.’

And Helen knew that she could. This investigation had been a nightmare and the worst was yet to come. But Charlie had proved herself during the course of their hunt and Helen was glad she would be there or thereabouts at the conclusion.

Which is why she felt so bad about deliberately misleading her now.

The crop sped through the air, biting into the firm female flesh as it found its target. She bucked, arching her body as she took in the pain, letting it flow through her. The inevitable sharp sting followed, then her body began to relax. She was fifteen strokes to the good already and she was beginning to tire, but still she said:

‘Again.’

Jake obliged, but knew that he should call time on their session now. It had been an enjoyable encounter – almost like old times – and if they were smart they would quit while they were ahead.

‘One more.’

Jake raised the crop with relief, bringing it home with a little more speed and strength than usual. She groaned – a satiated, happy groan. Jake found himself wondering if a change was taking place. Was she beginning to take sexual pleasure from her punishment? Many of the women he beat finished themselves off in front of him without embarrassment, brought almost to the point of orgasm by the cruel but delicious blows he administered. Would she allow herself to go there? Could he take her there?

Jake had found himself spending more and more time thinking about her. He had always been curious, but since their falling out and reconciliation, he’d found it hard to stop trying to fathom her inner workings. Why did she hate herself so much? In his mind, he’d rehearsed a dozen different ways to broach the subject, but in the end the question just popped out – surprising both of them.

‘Before you go, is there anything you want to talk about?’

She paused, regarding him curiously.

‘I mean… you know that everything that happens here is private and discreet, so if you did want to talk there’s no need to worry. What’s said here stays here.’

‘What would I talk about?’ Her response was curious but noncommittal.

‘You, I suppose.’

‘Why would I do that?’

‘Perhaps because you want to. Because you feel comfortable here. Perhaps this is the ideal space for you to tell me how you feel.’

‘How I feel ?’

‘Yes. How do you feel when you come here? And how do you feel when you leave?’

She looked at him strangely, then gathering her things said:

‘I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this.’

And she was heading for the door. Jake stepped forward, gently but firmly blocking her path.

‘Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want to pry and I certainly don’t want to hurt you. I just want to know how I can help you.’

‘Help me?’

‘Yes, help you. You’re a good, strong person with so much to give, but you hate yourself and it doesn’t make any sense. So please let me help you. You’ve got no reason to beat yourself up like this and perhaps if you would talk to me…’

He petered out, such was the ferocity of the glare that she directed at him now. It was a toxic mixture of anger, bile and disappointment.

‘Fuck you, Jake.’

With that she pushed him out of the way and was gone. Jake slumped on to the chair – he had played that all wrong and would now pay the price. He knew with absolute certainty that he would never see Helen Grace again.

Everyone has a tipping point. A line that must not be crossed. I was no different. Had the stupid bastard been sensible then none of this would have happened. But he was dumb and greedy and that’s why I decided to kill him.

I was a wreck by this point. I’d given up on life – I knew that it was my lot to be damaged and discarded. I’d made my peace with that – after all, that’s what happened to the girls I knew. None of them made it out the other side. Look at my mother – a sorry fucking excuse for a person. She was a doormat, a punch bag, but worse than that she was an accomplice. She knew what he was doing to me. What Jimmy and the rest were doing to me. But she did nothing. She ignored it and just carried on. If he kicked her out, she’d probably die in the streets, no one else would have her. So she took the easy way out. If anything I hated her more than I hated him.