Doug Allyn - Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 104, No. 4 & 5. Whole No. 633 & 634, October 1994

In her car Ellen sat watching her hands, which had become quite steady. But they had noticed. She bit her lip and turned the key. She could handle it, she told herself. Overactive imagination, she would say; this was her first murder, after all. She would laugh. Her hands were too tight on the steering wheel; she forced them to relax.

Her apartment was a mile from the school, usually a pleasant walk, but today she had driven in order to go to the Safeway to shop for dinner. Instead, she drove straight home; she knew everyone in the market, knew the people who would be shopping there, and they would all be full of questions. Parked in front of her apartment house was Jordan’s car; he was leaning against it, talking to a woman. He waved when Ellen pulled into her driveway. The woman turned and now Ellen could see her: Beverly Kirchner. She gritted her teeth.

They came forward as she got out of her car. “Hi, Ellen,” Beverly said. “I’m covering this story for my paper. Ask you a few questions?”

“Sorry,” Ellen said. “Comments will come from the president’s office only. Or the police.” She started to walk.

“Hey, Ellen, come on.” Beverly caught Ellen’s arm. “It’s me. Tomorrow there’s going to be a million outsiders asking questions. Give me a break, okay? What’s the lieutenant after at the school? Are they trying to link the death to someone there? Why are you working for the police? Is it true that Seymour was naked?”

“Can’t comment,” Ellen said, shrugging away from her hand.

For a moment Beverly dug in, her eyes narrowed; then she grinned and moved back a step. “Did you volunteer to help, or were you drafted?” Ellen moved toward her door. “Well, if you aren’t talking, I guess that’s my story. Who gagged you, Melton or the police?”

Beverly had always been insistent, Ellen remembered; being a reporter had not given her that trait, merely sharpened it. Beverly was watching her with an intense look. Slowly Ellen said, “I’m not talking, Bev.” For an instant Ellen saw her as she had been that night, knees drawn up with her chin on them, her arms wrapped around her legs, a blanket over her shoulders, rocking back and forth, humming tunelessly.

Beverly nodded. “I’ll be around town for a while. Be seeing you, I guess. Nice meeting you, Jordan. So long.” She strode away down the street.

“Just a second,” Jordan said then and hurried to his car, brought out a grocery bag, and joined her at the door. “Thought I’d make us some dinner,” he said. “Okay?”

Inside, he went to the kitchen with his groceries, and she went to the living room, where it appeared that her answering machine was stuck on blink. She knew who had made six of the calls, she thought, and her parents would have called, and then many more people. She sat on her sofa and called her mother.

It was an unsatisfactory call in every way. Her mother put her on conference call, but her father never had any small talk, and all her mother wanted to talk about was “the case.” After Ellen said she couldn’t discuss it, her mother was silent for a moment, but recovered with a rush of inconsequentials about weather, the store, her new glasses...

“Mom, Jordan’s cooking, and I’d better go help,” Ellen said finally. “I’ll be over Friday. Don’t worry. I’ll just be looking up old files. Dirty work, that’s all.”

After they hung up, she sat without moving, thinking what her father would have done if he had caught her with an older, naked man. He would not have hit him over the head and dumped his body in a thicket of blackberries. He would have beat the crap out of him on the spot. But who else would believe that?

Dinner was steaks and potatoes and salad, all very good. And Jordan was almost aggressively cheerful, to the point where Ellen wanted to yell at him to stop smiling, stop chattering. Neither mentioned Beverly Kirchner until the table was cleared and they had coffee.

“Old friend, she said,” Jordan commented. “But if you two are friends, I don’t ever want to see you with an enemy.”

“Old acquaintance is more like it,” she muttered. “Did she get a story from you?”

“Just what’s been in the news for a month now. That’s all I know.” He hesitated and then said, “Ellen, you can’t talk about it. Understood. But something’s bugging the bejesus out of you. Maybe you need to talk to someone about it.”

She felt herself grow tense with his words. How transparent she must be to everyone — Janice Ayers, Jordan... who else? “Thanks,” she said. “I’m just jumpy. Not used to seeing bones dug up. My first murder, after all.” It sounded as faked as it was. She couldn’t manage the laugh.

Although he did not move, she knew he recoiled as if she had rejected him physically. Where he had been excessively cheerful a few minutes earlier, he now became excessively polite, and she felt powerless to remove the barrier she had erected. They stood up and finished clearing the table, washed the few dishes, and then faced each other awkwardly.

“You’d better go,” she said. “Someone probably will make a note of how long you stay. You know, if there’s no real story, create one.”

“I expect your machine will go into overtime mode; I won’t add to it. Will you call me?”

She felt they had come to a crisis of some kind, that it had to do with trust, and hurt, and his new awareness of the fragility of their relationship. She would deal with it later, not now. “I’ll call,” she said. “Thanks. For dinner, for... Just thanks.”

He shrugged and went to get his jacket, and then paused at the door. “Call me,” he said, and left.

Later, soaking in the long deep tub, she regretted that he had not had his usual bath. He always liked to bathe in her old-fashioned tub that let him stretch out and relax. She thought of his words: maybe you need to talk to someone about it. In a town of eighteen hundred people, most of them familiar, some of them lifelong friends, there was not a single one she could talk to about that night.

She could imagine the questions: Six people saw you leave with him; where did you go? Did he seduce you? Have sex? Did he hit you? Did you hit him? Did he drive you home afterward? Did your father see you messed up, bloodied maybe?

What happened back at the fire? She closed her eyes against the pictures that surged in, and after a moment she thought, what happened to his van? Someone must have driven it away; someone else followed in a different car. They must have driven it off a cliff, into a gorge, maybe up the Columbia River, into the river somewhere. Then they came back.

They would get away with it, she thought dully. They wouldn’t tell on each other, and she couldn’t tell. Eventually the police would have to accept the idea that Philip had picked up a woman, fought, got killed, and she had driven his van away. What else could they think?

Lists of instructors who had been at the school the two years Philip had taught, follow-up lists: when they left, where they went, who was still here. Lists of his students, more follow-up lists. Lists of his subjects, course descriptions.

“What about the maintenance people, the cafeteria workers?” Ellen had asked bitterly, and Haliday had grinned. “Them, too.”

Now she stood in the doorway to the archives room with Winona Kelly, who was to assist her. She was a middle-aged woman with dyed black hair and gold-rimmed glasses. Earlier, Haliday had given the orders: When they found the files, Kelly would copy them, Blair would double-check, initial them, and restore the originals to their proper place. “That should satisfy your Dr. Melton,” Haliday had said. He had waved them out as Janice Ayers entered the conference room. The drapes were open.