Rex Stout - Plot It Yourself

He vetoed it. He said he wanted me at hand, and a call might come at any time of the day or night from Saul Panzer or Fred Durkin or Orrie Gather or Dol Bonner or Sally Corbett that would require immediate action. Also Philip Harvey had phoned twice, and Cora Ballard once, to ask if he could be present at a meeting of the NAAD council on Monday, and they would probably phone again tomorrow, and he didn’t want to listen to them. That settled, he went up to bed. At 11:42 Saul Panzer called, from a booth in Carmel, to say that he was on his way to relieve Orrie Gather. At 12:18 Orrie called, also from Carmel, to report that the light had gone out a little before eleven in Alice Porter’s house, and presumably she was safe in bed. I mounted two flights to mine.

Friday morning I was pulling my pants on when Fred Durkin phoned that he was on his way to relieve Saul, and Dol Bonner was with him, to go on post near the junction of the blacktop and the dirt road. I was in the kitchen, pouring hot maple syrup on a waffle, with the Times propped on the rack, when Saul phoned to say that when he left at eight o’clock Alice Porter had been hoeing in the vegetable garden. I was in the office, rereading copies of the statements I had given the two assistant DAs, when Cora Ballard phoned to ask if Wolfe would come to the NAAD council meeting, which would be held at the Clover Club on Monday at twelve-thirty. If Wolfe preferred to join them after lunch two o’clock would do, or even two-thirty. When I reminded her that he never left the house on business she said she knew that, but this was an emergency. I said it wasn’t much of an emergency that set a meeting three days off, and she said that with authors and dramatists two or three weeks was the best she could usually do, and anyway it was the Memorial Day weekend, and could she speak with Mr. Wolfe. I told her he wasn’t available and it wouldn’t do any good even if he was, and what he would certainly say was that he would send me. If they wanted me, let me know.

I was filing the copies of the statements in the folder marked PLAGIARISM, JOINT COMMITTEE ON when Inspector Cramer phoned to say that he would drop in for a few minutes about a quarter past eleven. I told him he would probably be admitted. I was listening to the ten-o’clock news broadcast when Lon Cohen phoned to say it was high time I loosened up. They had five different pictures of me in the morgue, and they would run the best one, the one that made me look almost human, as the discoverer of Jane Ogilvy’s body, If I would supply some interesting detail like why had two people who had collected damages on plagiarism charges been croaked within forty-eight hours. Any fool knew damn well it wasn’t coincidence, so what was it? I told him I would ask the DA and call him back.

I was tearing yesterday’s page from Wolfe’s desk calendar when the president of the National Association of Authors and Dramatists phoned. His name was Jerome Tabb. I had read one of his books. Wolfe had read four of them, and all four were still on the shelves, none of them dog-eared. They had all been A’s. He was a VIP even by Wolfe’s standards, and Wolfe would undoubtedly have liked to speak with him, but the rule was never buzz the plant rooms for a phone call except in extreme emergency. Tabb had just had a call from Cora Ballard, and he wanted to tell Wolfe how important it was for him to be present at the council meeting on Monday. He was leaving town for the weekend, and he would like me to give Wolfe this message, that the officers and council of the NAAD would deeply appreciate it if he would arrange to meet with them.

When Wolfe came down at eleven I reported the phone calls in chronological order, which put Tabb last. When I finished he sat and glared at me but said nothing. He was stuck. He knew that I knew he would like to speak with Jerome Tabb, but he couldn’t very well jump me for obeying the rules. So he took another tack. Glaring at me, he said, “You were too emphatic with Miss Ballard and Mr. Tabb. I may decide to go to that meeting.” Absolutely childish. It called for a cutting reply, and one was on its way to my tongue when the doorbell rang and I had to skip it.

It was Cramer. When I opened the door he marched by me with no greeting but an excuse for a nod, and on to the office. I followed. Wolfe told him good morning and invited him to sit, but he stood.

“I’ve only got a minute,” he said. “So your theory was right.”

Wolfe grunted. “My theory and yours.”

“Yeah. It’s too bad that Ogilvy girl had to die to prove it.”

He stopped. Wolfe asked, “Will you sit? As you know, I like eyes at a level.”

“I can’t stay. The Ogilvy homicide was in the Bronx, but obviously it’s tied in with Jacobs’, so it’s mine. You can save me a lot of time and trouble. If we have to we can find out from about fifty people how many of them you told that you were going to put the squeeze on Jane Ogilvy, and which ones, but it’s simpler to ask you. So I’m asking.”

“Mr. Goodwin has already answered that question several times. To the District Attorney.”

“I know he has, and I don’t believe him. I think you bungled again. I think you picked certain people out of the bunch that had known you were going after Jacobs — I don’t know how you picked them, but you do — you picked certain ones and let them know you were going after Jane Ogilvy. Then you sent a man or men, probably Panzer and Durkin, to cover her, and they slipped up. Maybe they didn’t know about that lane in back. Maybe they didn’t even know about that building she called the cloister. Cloister my ass. I want to know who you told and why. If you won’t tell me I’ll find out the hard way, and when we get this cleared up and we know which one killed her, and we know he killed her because he knew you were going after her, and he knew because you or Goodwin had told him, this will be the time you lose a leg. I’ve got just one question: are you going to tell me?”

“I’ll answer it in a moment.” Wolfe wiggled a finger at him. “First I remind you that you are to return that stuff to me by seven o’clock this evening — less than eight hours from now. You haven’t forgotten that?”

“No. You’ll have it.”

“Good. As for your question, I don’t resent it. I blundered so lamentably with Simon Jacobs that it’s no wonder you suspect me of an even bigger blunder with Jane Ogilvy. If I had I would confess it, abandon the case, and close my office permanently. I didn’t. No one knew of our intention to tackle Jane Ogilvy but Mr. Goodwin and me.”

“So you’re not telling.”

“There’s nothing to tell. Mr. Goodwin has—”

“Go to hell.” He turned and marched out. I went to the hall to see that when the door banged he was outside. As I stepped back in the phone rang. It was Mortimer Oshin, wanting to know if Philip Harvey had notified Wolfe that his arrangement with the committee was terminated. I said no, apparently that was to be discussed by the NAAD council on Monday. He said that if and when it was terminated he wanted to engage Wolfe personally, and I said it was nice to know that.

Wolfe, not bothering to comment on Cramer, told me to take my notebook and dictated a letter to a guy in Chicago, declining a request to come and give a talk at the annual banquet of the Midwest Association of Private Inquiry Agents. Then one, a long one, to a woman in Nebraska who had written to ask if it was possible to fatten a capon so that its liver would make as good a pâté as that of a fattened goose. Then others. I agree in principle with his notion that no letter should go unanswered, but of course he can always hand one to me and say, “Answer that,” and often does. We were on one to a man in Atlanta, saying that he couldn’t undertake to find a daughter who had left for New York a month ago and had never written, when Fritz announced lunch. As we were crossing the hall the phone rang, and I went back to get it. It was Fred Durkin.