Carl Hiaasen - Skin Tight

The popular television show In Your Face was canceled after the disappearance and presumed death of its star, REYNALDO FLEMM. The program’s executive producers soon announced that a $25,000 scholarship in Reynaldo’s name would be awarded to the Columbia University School of Journalism, from which, ironically, he had been twice expelled.

Exporter J. W. KIMBLER received a personal letter from the vice-chancellor of the Leeward Islands Medical University in Guadeloupe. The note said: “Thank you foryour most recent shipment, which has become the highlight of our spring semester. On behalf of the faculty and of the future surgeons who study here, accept my deepest gratitude for a superior product.”

For his dramatic videotaped footage of Reynaldo Flemm’s cosmetic surgery, cameraman WILLIE VELASQUEZ was offered-and accepted-his own news-documentary program on the Fox Television Network. Eyewitness Undercover! premiered in the 8 p.m. time slot on Thursdays, and in four major markets decisively beat out The Cosby Show in both the Nielsens and Arbitrons.

CHRISTINA MARKS declined an offer to become a producer for Willie’s new program. Instead, she left television and took a job as an assistant city editor at the Miami Herald, and with it a pay cut of approximately $135,000. Soon after moving to Miami, she purchased a second-hand Boston Whaler and a nautical chart of South Biscayne Bay.

The parents of Victoria Barletta were puzzled to receive, via UPS, a black Samsonite suitcase containing approximately $118,400 in cash. A letter accompanying the money described it as a gift from the estate of Dr. Rudy Graveline. The letter was signed by a retired investigator named MICK STRANAHAN and bore no return address.