Лилиан Браун - The Cat Who Wasn't There

Melinda-an undertaking he hardly relished. To phone her on a Sunday afternoon would give rise to sociable invitations, such as, "Come over for a drink, and we'll discuss it," or "Let's have dinner." To visit her clinic on Monday would lead to other undesirable developments, such as, "Remove everything except your socks and shoes, and the doctor will be right with you." No, he decided, it would be safer to meet her "accidentally" in some crowded or busy place, where they could exchange a few words without getting involved in anything personal. Qwilleran found himself walking with clenched teeth. It annoyed him to be in this awkward position with Melinda after three years of an easy relationship with Polly. He resented being hounded by an overzealous female. He had terminated other liaisons without embarrassment, and he had been jilted himself without creating a rumpus. Somehow he had to get rid of that woman! Koko had never liked her. Did the cat's uncanny prescience foretell this course of events? It was not beyond the realm of imagination. At the drug store, Qwilleran picked up several out-of-town newspapers--his way of keeping in touch with the turmoil Down Below.

"How was Scotland, Mr. Q?" asked the cashier.

"Okay." "I heard about Ms. Hasselrich." "Yes, it was too bad." "Did you see the Loch Ness monster?" "No, we were there on his day off." On the way home Qwilleran's mind turned to the subject of Irma's address book.

If he could learn the whereabouts and/or phone number of the pivotal Katie, he could turn the whole matter over to Andrew Brodie and let him make a case of it, if he wished. Andy would be interested in Koko's startling reaction to the obituary, being one of the few who knew about the cat's sensitivity to the scent of crime. A detective from Down Below had told him about it in all seriousness. To the Pickax police chief, Koko was the town psychic. Qwilleran walked home with his newspapers via the back road, hoping to avoid questions from well-meaning townsfolk. There was little traffic on Trevelyan Road, but eventually a car stopped and the driver called to him, "Want a lift, Qwill?" It was Scott Gippel, the used-car dealer.

"No, thanks. I'm walking for my health," Qwilleran said with a comradely salute.

"How was Scotland?" "Fine." "Sorry about Irma Hasselrich." "Very unfortunate." "Bring back any Scotch?" Arriving home with several pounds of newsprint under his arm, Qwilleran all but stumbled over a moving hump in the foyer rug. It was a familiar occurrence, meaning that a cat had hidden stolen goods and was trying to retrieve the loot. He threw back a corner of the rug and exposed Yum Yum huddled over a playing card. It was face down, and when he turned it over, he recognized a card from Mildred's tarot deck. He also recognized the two perforations in the corner. Koko had been the thief; he always left his mark, like the Black Hand.

The picture on the card was a pleasant scene: a grape arbor with a woman in flowing robes, a bird perched on her wrist. They were surrounded by nine gold circles, each with a five-pointed star in the center. Qwilleran remembered the card from Mildred's reading prior to the Scottish venture. Dropping his stack of newspapers, he found his recording of the episode and slipped it into a player. The following familiar dialogue unreeled: "Do you mind if I tape this, Mildred?" "Not at all. I wish you would.

" "What did you learn?" "Strangely, when I asked the cards about you, the answers concerned someone else--someone in danger." "Man or woman?" "A mature woman. A woman with strict habits and upright values." "What kind of danger?" "Well, the cards were rather vague, so I brought the pack with me, and I'd like to do another reading-in your presence." (pause.) "Yowl" "Want me to lock him up, Mildred?" "No, let him watch. (pause.) I'm using the Celtic pattern for this reading. This card is the significat or (pause.) I see a journey.

a journey across water... with stormy weather ahead." "Glad I packed my raincoat." "Stormy weather could stand for dissension, mistakes, accidents, or whatever." "Too bad I didn't know before I paid my money." "You're not taking this seriously, Qwill." "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound flippant." "This final card.. is not auspicious... You might consider it a warning." "Looks like a happy card to me." "But it's reversed." "Meaning..." "Some kind of fraud... or treachery." "Yowl" "In conclusion... I urge you to be prepared... for the unexpected." (pause.) "Very interesting. Thank you." Click.

As the tape slowly unreeled, the Siamese were alerted, having heard another cat inside the black box, and both of them circled the player with curiosity. Perhaps they also recognized the voices of Qwilleran and Mildred. It was significant that Koko had yowled at her mention of treachery. At the time of the reading, Qwilleran had thought the cards referred to Polly. Now it was obvious that Irma was the woman in danger; it was she who would be the victim of treachery... That is, Qwilleran reminded himself skeptically, if one took the cards seriously. He looked up Mildred Hanstable's number. It was Sunday morning, and she would probably be at home, cooking or quilting.

"Good morning," he said.

"The meatloaf was delicious. The Siamese let me have some of it for dinner last night.

" "There's beef stew in the freezer for you, don't forget," she said.

"I feel twice blessed. I'm calling, Mildred, to ask if you've lost one of your tarot cards. I'd hate to see you playing with a short deck." "I don't know. Let me check." In a moment she returned to the phone.

"You're right. There are only seventy-seven." "I'm afraid Koko stole one. He left his fang marks in it. I hope that doesn't affect the--ah--authority of the deck." "Where did you find it?" "Hidden under a rug. It's a card I remember from your reading before I left for Scotland." He described the woman in the grape arbor.

"Yes, I recall. It was reversed when I read for you, and I predicted treachery." "And you were right! Grace Utley's jewels were stolen by a trusted bus driver." He avoided mentioning his suspicions about Irma's death.

"Grace was crazy to take them on the trip," Mildred said, "but no one ever said that woman was in her right mind." "Shall I mail the card to you?" he asked.

"Or shall we have dinner some evening--soon." "I'd love it!" Her voice rang with pleased surprise.

"We'll include Polly and Arch," he added hastily, "and the three of us will tell you all about Scotland." "Say when. I'm always free. Just hang on to the nine of pentacles until then." "What is the significance of pentacles?" he asked.

"They correspond to diamonds in regular playing cards." An odd coincidence, Qwilleran thought as he hung up. The nine of diamonds!

The Curse of Scotland!

Now he was impatient to talk with Polly about the address book. He waited until he thought she would be home from church, but there was no answer when he called. She might have gone to Sunday brunch with her sister-in-law, or she might be visiting the Hasselriches. A few hours later Polly called in great excitement.

"I have it! I have the address book!" she cried.

"How did the family react to your request?" "When I phoned about it, they were most appreciative and invited me to dinner after church. It was a painful occasion, but we talked about Irma lovingly, and they said they consider me their surrogate daughter now. I was deeply touched." "Did they know anything about Katie?" "Only that she and Irma had been in art school at the same time. When I brought the book home, I searched it for a Katie with an Edinburgh address and discovered one Kathryn Gow Mac Bean It looks as if Mac Bean might be her married name, in which case Bruce would be a Gow." Polly sounded excited about her first attempt at detection and deduction.

"Good work, Polly!" Qwilleran said.