Миранда Джеймс - Six Cats A Slayin'

Haskell grabbed the kittens before they had ascended to the table. He grinned at them. “Maybe I should start on their corral tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow.”

“Thanks, but I suppose the house will survive one more night,” I said. Diesel lay down beside my chair. The poor boy looked exhausted. I said as much to the others.

“Babysitting is a tough job,” Helen Louise said. “Especially when there are five of them. Poor Diesel. He’s such a sweet boy, looking after the kittens.”

Diesel raised his head and chirped. I reached down and rubbed his head.

Haskell rose from the table, Fred and George cradled in his arms. “Back in a minute.” He left the kitchen.

Diesel didn’t stir. I thought he had gone to sleep.

“Do you think Haskell and I are included in the invitation?” Stewart asked. “I’d give a lot to see Deirdre in action with all the lesser mortals from the neighborhood.”

“I don’t see why not,” I said. “The more the merrier.”

“I haven’t seen dear Deirdre around much lately,” Stewart said. “Not since her third husband died. I suppose she’s been busy shopping for number four.”

Helen Louise laughed. “How many eligible men her age are there with enough money to interest her?”

Stewart grinned. “Oh, I imagine she has widened her field for this one. I heard somewhere that she’s been spending a lot of time in Memphis lately.”

Haskell returned, sans kittens. “Who’re you talking about?” He resumed his seat.

“Deirdre,” Stewart said. “On the prowl for a new husband.”

“Not that Deirdre isn’t an interesting subject,” Helen Louise said, “but let’s get back to Gerry Albritton. Have you noticed the two for-sale signs in the neighborhood?”

“The ones with Albritton Realty on them?” Haskell asked.

Helen Louise nodded.

“Where are they?” I asked. “I don’t recall seeing them.”

“There’s one on my street, about three blocks from my house,” Helen Louise said. “Where Mr. Murdoch lived.”

“Our old high school principal?” I asked after a moment’s reflection. “I saw that he died a few weeks ago.”

“More like two months,” Helen Louise said with a wry smile. “But you’ve had a lot on your mind since then, with a new granddaughter and baby Charlie.”

I nodded. “Where’s the other sign?”

“Three streets over, toward the railroad tracks,” Haskell replied. “Family named Merriman owned it for years. Elderly lady was the last one living there, and she died about two months ago.”

“And here’s our neighbor Gerry selling two houses in the area,” Stewart said. “I wonder how many other elderly neighbors there are around us.”

“Why do you wonder that?” I asked.

“Maybe Gerry is bumping them off so she can sell their houses,” Stewart said. “There are quite a few old folks in this area. We could start seeing those signs popping up all over the place.”

Haskell regarded his partner’s flippancy with a repressive frown. “Be careful where you say things like that.”

Stewart rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that in front of anyone else.” He paused for a grin. “Well, hardly anyone else.”

Haskell shook his head, and Helen Louise and I exchanged wry smiles. Stewart’s irreverent sense of humor occasionally went a little too far, but as long as he confined such remarks to the present company, there would be no harm done.

Stewart rose from the table. “On that note, dear ones, I think it’s time I fetched Dante and took him out for a walk.” He gazed at Haskell. “Will you join us?”

Haskell stood. “No, I’ll clear the table. My turn, I think.”

“I’ll help you,” I said, also rising. “No, you stay where you are.” Helen Louise had started to get up, but she sank back in her chair at my words. “You were on your feet at the bistro today.”

“I’m not going to argue,” she said.

Haskell and I had the table cleared by the time Stewart returned with his poodle on a leash, ready for their walk. Both master and dog wore sweaters. Diesel roused long enough to chirp tiredly at his friend, while Dante wiggled and woofed ecstatically upon seeing his good buddy. Dante pulled at his leash to approach the cat, and Stewart allowed the leash to extend. Dante licked Diesel’s face. The cat put a large paw on the dog’s head and pushed him away.

Stewart and I chuckled, and he drew Dante along toward the front door. “We’ll be back soon,” he said.

I put away the leftovers while Haskell loaded the dishwasher. We chatted in desultory fashion as we worked. By tacit agreement, it seemed, we avoided further discussion of Gerry Albritton. Frankly, I was tired of the subject.

My respite from my irritating neighbor didn’t last long, however. Stewart and Dante returned after a few minutes. As he entered the kitchen, Stewart brandished a piece of paper.

“Wait till you see this flyer, Charlie. It was stuck to the front door,” he said. “I spotted them at several houses up and down the street.”

I took the flyer, which was the size of a regular piece of copier paper, and scanned the contents. I began to read aloud.

“Tired of mortgage payments? Fed up with costly repairs? Ready to downsize and move? We buy houses, no questions asked, no inspections required, at good prices. Give us a call, and let’s do business.”

I looked at Helen Louise. “The contact information is for Geraldine Albritton’s real estate office.”

“What on earth is she up to?” Helen Louise frowned. “Is she trying to buy up the whole neighborhood?”

SEVEN

“She’s certainly not going to buy this house.” I crumpled the flyer with both hands before discarding it in the trash bin under the sink. Having done so, I shut the cabinet door a little more forcefully than necessary. I wasn’t sure why the flyer made me angry, but that was how I felt.

Diesel, evidently alarmed by my tone, sat up and began to meow. I called him to me and began to stroke his back when he stopped and leaned against my legs. Dante was in Stewart’s lap, whining because he wanted to play with the cat. Stewart kept him firmly in place.

“Everything’s all right, boy.” I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself, and Diesel relaxed under my touch.

“No doubt it’s standard business practice with her,” Helen Louise said. “Although she seems to have come out of nowhere. I certainly hadn’t heard of her or her real estate business before.”

“I hadn’t, either,” Stewart said, and Haskell shrugged. “Not something I pay much attention to,” he said.

“I wonder where the money is coming from.” I resumed my seat at the table, and the cat settled down by my legs. “Surely it takes substantial capital to go around buying houses. What if several people all want to sell at the same time? That would run into hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

“She either has amazingly good credit,” Helen Louise said, “or she has big cash reserves.”

“Or someone putting up the money for her,” Stewart said. “It’s strange that no one seems to know where she came from. She basically popped up like a mushroom after a good long rain.”

“She’s definitely an enigma.” I shrugged.

Stewart laughed. “I’m looking forward to this Christmas bash of hers even more now. No telling what might happen.”

As if they had heard Stewart’s last few words and considered them an invitation, the five kittens came running and tumbling into the kitchen. Ramses was in the lead, and George brought up the rear. Diesel jumped up from beside my legs and darted toward the playful youngsters. Dante jumped out of his master’s lap, the leash still attached to his collar, before Stewart realized what the dog was doing. The poodle joined the melee on the floor, barking excitedly while Diesel batted at kittens in an attempt to stop their antics. Two of the kittens seized sections of the leash in their mouths and began to chew.