Эд Макбейн - Snow White and Rose Red

“ ‘Shall have cause to curse the Dauphin’s scorn,’ ” I said.

“See?”

“Yes.”

She sat beside me on the bench again. She took my hand and squeezed it.

“Now tell me,” she said, and grinned again. “Do you think he was making a pun?”

“Who?”

“Shakespeare. When he says, ‘And tell the pleasant Prince this mock of his hath turned his balls to gunstones.’ Does he mean the tennis balls? Or does he mean the Dauphin ’s balls? I used to wonder about that all the time. Am I shocking you again?”

“No,” I said.

“Good,” she said, and sighed in mock relief. “Do you ever think of me?” she asked suddenly. “When you’re not here, I mean. Or maybe you don’t even think of me when you are here, who knows? Maybe right this minute you’re thinking of a legal brief you have to prepare, or a tort — were you tort to prepare torts in law school? Do you think of me?”

“I think of you, yes.”

“A lot?”

“A lot.”

“I think of you all the time,” she said. “ All the time. The only thing that keeps me from going nuts like all the rest of them is thinking of you. You have no idea what it’s like being here, Matthew. Anna the Porn Queen telling me day and night about the new movie she’s planning, asking me if I want to star in it, promising me she’ll make me famous, the poor soul. And Herbert the Hibernator...”

“Who?”

“Herbert Hyams. I call him Herbert the Hibernator because he thinks he’s a bear.” She laughed suddenly. “I know it’s hard to accept the notion that a human being can think of himself as a bear , actually believe he’s a bear, but that’s what Herbert believes. He asked all of us to call him Teddy. Not now, not while he’s in hibernation. He won’t be coming out of hibernation till May, which is when he says the winter will really be over and his coat will be nice and thick. Meanwhile, he doesn’t want anyone to talk to him. You can’t talk to a bear when he’s hibernating because it’ll upset his sleep and he’ll lose months and months of growing time. That’s what Herbert calls it. Growing time. If you try to tell him that a bear’s coat is thicker in the winter , when he needs it thick, and not in the springtime , when he comes out of hibernation, Herbert will say, ‘What do you know about bears?’ Totally bonkers, old Herbert.” She tilted her nose snootily, as if she’d just smelled something particularly noisome. “The people one must associate with in a dump like this,” she said, and laughed again.

“You’ll be out of here soon,” I said.

“Oh good, are we planning an escape?” she said, and clapped her hands together. “I’m crazier than usual today, don’t you think?” she said. “You drive me crazy, Matthew.”

“You’d better not be crazy next week,” I said.

“Why? What’s next week? Anyway, how can you tell a crazy person not to be crazy? Do you think we can turn it on and off? You turn me on, Matthew, did I ever mention that to you? Are you really getting me out of here?”

“I hope to.”

“Hope the Hopeful,” she said.

I smiled.

“Ah, he smiles, my champion.”

“Do you want to hear this, or don’t you?”

“Pray tell me, sir,” she said, and rose suddenly and extended her hand to me. I took her hand. We began walking around the lake. And it was summertime in Chicago, and on Lake Michigan there were sailboats on the water and somewhere someone was playing a banjo and I walked holding the hand of a sixteen-year-old girl with long blonde hair and sparkling green eyes and I told her of my dreams and the banjo plinked like splintered sunlight as we walked.

“I’m going to have to get a bit technical about this,” I said, “so if it gets too complicated...”

“I love complicated things,” Sarah said.

“Okay, this is from the ‘Guardianship’ chapter in the Florida Statutes — the section titled ‘Termination.’ ”

“That sounds so final ,” Sarah said. “Termination.”

“That’s what we’re looking for,” I said. “Termination. An end to all this.”

She squeezed my hand. “And a beginning ,” she said.

“What I want to explain is the procedure for... well, what it’s called is ‘restoration to mental or physical competency.’ ”

“Yes, Matthew,” she said, and suddenly she became quite serious, her head turned toward me as we walked, her eyes alert and searching.

“Section 4 of Chapter 744.464 states: ‘Any relative, spouse, or friend of an incompetent’ — I consider myself your friend, Sarah — ‘may petition in the county where the person was adjudged incompetent — or where the person is living on the date of the petition — to determine whether he is still incompetent and unable to manage his affairs.’ I’ve already filed such a petition with the Circuit Court. I have a copy here if you’d like to look at it. The important language in it is: ‘Wherefore, this petition requests that an examination be made as to the mental and physical condition, or both, of the said Sarah Whittaker as provided by law, and that an order be entered determining the mental and physical competency of said person.’ You could have petitioned on your own behalf, Sarah, but I think it carries more weight signed by the required three citizens of the state.’“

“Who did sign it?” Sarah asked.

“I did. And my partner, Frank Summerville. And an associate named Karl Jennings.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“I expect to have an order summoning examination within the next several days. Which brings us to another section of that same chapter. Section 1(a) states: ‘When a person has been declared incompetent and is hospitalized at a treatment facility’ — Knott’s Retreat is a treatment facility, of course — ‘and becomes capable of managing his own affairs, he may be issued a certificate of competency signed by three members of the medical staff at the treatment facility—’ ”

“Forget it,” Sarah said. “You’d never get any of the shrinks here to sign such a thing. Not with Cyclops in control.”

“I realize that,” I said. “Which brings us to section 1(b). Are you listening?”

“Please,” she said, and gave a small nod.

“Section 1(b) says: ‘A certificate of competency may also be issued at a designated receiving facility upon the recommendation of two members of the medical staff and a third responsible person.’ ”

“A receiving facility would be someplace like Good Samaritan,” Sarah said.

“Yes, the Dingley Wing.”

“ They thought I was nuts, too.”

“There are other receiving facilities in Calusa County,” I said.

“Go on,” Sarah said. She was watching me intently now. We had, in fact, stopped walking. Out on the lake, a fish jumped.

“I’ve asked the court to specify an examining committee at Southern Medical, the Arlberg Receiving Facility there.”

“You mean I won’t have to be examined here? Or at Good Samaritan?”

“Not if the court orders a committee at Southern Medical.”

“But will it? The court?”

“Judge Latham — to whom I petitioned — is a fair and honest man. I think he’ll recognize the need for an unprejudiced examination.”

“Cyclops’ll never let me out of here. Not for a minute .”

“I’ve already spoken to Dr. Pearson about having you removed temporarily to Southern Medical — if that’s what the court orders.”

“And he refused, of course.”

“On the contrary. He seemed positive that independent observation and examination would only confirm the findings here at Knott’s Retreat.”