Кэрол Дуглас - Cat In A Quicksilver Caper

So, here he stood at midnight on a dark pinnacle inside Neon Nightmare, timing the first of many risky plunges to the abyss below. In the morning’s wee hours, he’d be moonlighting at the New Millennium, planning a daring art heist.

And sometime in between, he should be making a few personal appearances before an audience of one. Temple. He’d been forced to neglect her, and them. She was feeling it and saying so.

He remembered the overpowering plunge of falling for her more than two years earlier when they’d met in Minneapolis. He’d lured her to follow him to Vegas where they’d settled like newlyweds into a co-owned condo at the Circle Ritz. That was when he’d first started to investigate the possibility of slipping out of his undercover counterterrorist role that had been forced on him as a teenager. He could retire at the ripe age of thirty-four and become a magician, pure and simple.

It hadn’t worked out that way. Someone had tumbled to him. Someone hounded him out of Las Vegas and into hiding for a year.

He’d come back to find that Temple, smart and spirited and cute as a kitten, had stood her ground like a tiger when the police came sniffing around about his past and present whereabouts.

He’d known female assassins who were stone killers, but Temple had her own brand of toughness all the more lovable for being so unexpected in such a petite package.

Now he couldn’t even manage regular appearances in her bedroom, and his promises of finally breaking free of his past had become as empty as an old-time magician’s top hat.

He had so many roles to play, public and hidden, professional and personal, that even an expert juggler like himself couldn’t keep them all up in the air.

Max had become the man in the mirror, the middle, the mirage. He was the magician, the mechanic, the pawn, and the power player . . . depending on whose casting card you read.

For the first time, this position seemed untenable. Undoable. Doomed. He had split himself into too many personas. Some would not, could not, survive. That was the curse of the double agent. He had acted that role for many years. Now, all aspects of his various personas dueled each other. He wore the three faces of . . . not Eve, but Eventual destruction.

He had the sinking feeling that he stood on the Eve of Destruction.

He swung off his high, invisible perch into the darkness eighty feet below, into the laser lights and neon, losing his misgivings in the sudden enthralling swoop of risk and danger.

Flying, falling, flying while people below gasped and cheered and some few hoped, in the darkest corner of their too human hearts, that he would fall for real and truly thrill them.

Swept Off Her Feet

Temple Barr woke up at 10:30 A.M. in her own bed, which was hardly unusual, and supposed that there wasn’t a woman in America who didn’t ache for one of those Scarlett O’Hara moments.

Maybe it was Scarlett swearing to heaven that she’d never have to choke down another raw turnip (or broccoli or cauliflower floret . . . or diet book) again.

Maybe it was the spunky freshman Scarlett, telling that blind-stupid Ashley Wilkes right out that he ought to be dating her instead of some wimpy prom queen from the next plantation down along the Sewanee.

Maybe it was Scarlett cornered on the stairs of Tara shooting an attacking Yankee soldier dead.

Or Scarlett in any of the dazzling fashion-show gowns in which she schemed, fought, and flounced her way through the Civil War and its aftermath . . . especially the gutsy gown made from green velvet drapes she wore to convince a jailed Rhett Butler that she wasn’t down and out when she was.

But the most perfect Scarlett moment of all involved the crimson velvet dressing gown she wore as Rhett carried her upstairs when he’d had it with her fickle, bewitching, bitching Scarlett ways.

Feminists long removed from the 1930s debut of Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind choked on their turnips over that scene, which to modern sensibilities plays like date rape—or, in that case, wife rape.

But no matter how a woman might land on the swept-upstairs-scene issue, she couldn’t fault the famous morning-after scene.

What a wake-up call! That was when Vivien Leigh’s Scarlett awoke in a cat-contented camera close-up. When her eyes recalled the-night-before-the-morning-after with the devilish satisfaction of a distinctly un-downtrodden Southern belle indeed. . . .

Temple awoke this day to one of those classic dawning moments. It made her world take an unexpected lurch toward a totally different axis than it had previously been twirling around like a ballerina in a well-known routine.

Oh. Right. Yes. Oh. My. Oh. Dear. Oh!

Because all morning-afters have their down as well as their up sides, and Temple was starting to see that. It didn’t help that Midnight Louie, all fully furred twenty pounds of him, was sitting on her chest like a guilty conscience, staring at her with unblinking feline-green eyes.

His mesmerizing eyes and shiny black hair reminded her that she was betrothed (as much as you could be in a modern world) to raven-haired Max Kinsella, a magician on hiatus. Louie’s watchful presence also reminded her that Louie had been on patrol in the apartment early this morning when she’d returned from her supposedly bland dinner date with neighbor Matt Devine, during which certain overly neighborly things had occurred and mention had been made of the M-word: marriage.

Louie knew . Somehow.

And that gloriously green stare said that he understood every miserable nuance of her now hopelessly complicated love life. And that he did not approve.

Neither, she knew, would Max.

Louie Agonistes

What is a loyal bodyguard and bedmate to do? (And I am not asking you, Mr. Kevin Costner; I am no fan of anyone who dances with wolves.)

My charming roommate, Miss Temple Barr, is obviously undergoing a major life crisis. Now, were a serial killer breaking into our humble but homey unit at the Circle Ritz, I would not be at a loss for direction.

I would leap upon a pant leg, ratchet my way up to his chest and shoulder area—making three-inch tracks a quarter-inch deep—lash out with my built-in switchblades and take out his eyes, then execute a thorough bit of plastic surgery on his mug for a finishing touch.

All of the above before the average bear could say “Hannibal Lecter.”

But nerve and brain, my two greatest assets, will not work here. I am at a loss for once, waylaid by the tangled webs of human emotions when it comes to what are such simple matters to the rest of the animal world, i.e., what people call the Mating Game.

This is not a game, folks! It is the call of the jungle, the survival of the species, and the triumph of the Alpha Male. Of which I am, naturally, one. Although perhaps not so naturally anymore since I was relieved of the possibility of fatherhood by a villainous B-movie actress who had hoped to de-macho me. Whatever. Despite Miss Savannah Ashleigh doing her worst, I am still catnip for the dames and no back-alley offspring will ever come back to haunt me.

I am the 007 of the feline world, four on the floor and one in the backseat, with an unlimited license to thrill. Even the animal protection people cannot fault my condition and habits.

And I face no messy consequences who might want to slash a dude across the whiskers and call him a philandering absentee father. I am thinking here of Miss Midnight Louise, my erstwhile daughter from the old pre-chichi cut days. According to her.

Anyway, this stuff among my own species I have aced.

Humans are a different plate of Meow Mix entirely.

I pace back and forth in front of the French doors that lead to our triangular mini patio. By now my Miss Temple is out for the day, pretending that she is going about business as usual, but I saw her disarray the previous evening and am most . . . unsettled.