Энтони Бучер - Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 3, No. 4, September 1942

With no delay Mr. Butterworth ushered his witness to the stand, where the Surrogate warmly greeted him. The court’s wealth of cordiality should have caused Mr. Riggsley to squirm uneasily, but the gentleman simply smiled in a good-natured manner and turned a whimsical countenance to his opponent. Professor Quell, from his obscure corner, leaned forward with glistening eyes, as if waiting for something sensational to happen. The press-table rapidly resharpened pencils and motioned for their messenger-boys to stand ready for the first batch of copy.

Dr. Pinkey answered the preliminary questions in short, sharp barks, as if annoyed at queries concerning his name, age, occupation, and was quite haughty as he qualified as an expert. Then with the court beaming upon him, with the spectators staring at him in mingled awe and admiration, he told in jerky sentences how he called on Mr. Asher the day before the will was drawn up. As the servants had been given a holiday to spend in merry-making at certain maple-sugar camps on the estate, the witness arrived early in the morning and took the testator for a long drive, remaining out all day with the exception of the lunch hour spent at the Country Club.

From his professional observations on that day he was able to pronounce the decedent absolutely qualified to draw up his will, or transact any business, being complete master of his faculties.

“Would it have been possible for him to have undergone a change in his mentality overnight, serious enough to have incapacitated him for drawing up his will?” asked Mr. Butterworth, trailing one eye to scan the cheerful Mr. Riggsley.

“No, sir,” boomed the witness; “not unless he suffered from a shock. I will add that I remained overnight at his home, and found him perfectly rational in the morning. I saw him two days later, and he was entirely compos mentis.”

The press-table wrote frantically, and Mr. Butterworth said,

“I believe that is all I care to ask.”

As Mr. Riggsley rose, notebook in hand, the witness stiffened and smiled grimly. He was used to such encounters and hugely enjoyed them. He believed that counsel, following the usual mode of procedure, had been cramming up for the cross-examination under the tutelage of some other alienists. Lawyers had essayed to trip him at his own game before, and he hungered for the fray.

“Returning to the day when you brought Mr. Asher home from his delightful sleigh-ride,” began Mr. Riggsley, “did you go to bed early, or did you remain up several hours after Mr. Asher had retired?”

The witness gave the slightest perceptible start, and after a moment’s hesitation coldly answered,

“I remained in the smoking-room several hours after my host had retired.”

“The windows of that room look out on a field, do they not?” next asked counsel.

“The witness has not qualified as an architectural expert,” reminded Mr. Butterworth, studying his rival keenly.

“I do not see the relevancy, but the witness may answer if he knows,” directed the puzzled court.

“They do,” answered the witness, his defiant eyes becoming worried.

“And as you smoked you stood at the window and gazed out on the landscape, did you not?” persisted counsel.

“Dr. Pinkey was called here as an alienist,” gravely rebuked Mr. Butterworth.

“What do you expect to show?” curiously asked the court.

“I expect to establish the fact that this witness is not competent to give expert testimony as to the mental condition of Reuben N. Asher!” boldly informed Mr. Riggsley.

Had the tower on the city hall walked across the square and invited the statue of justice over the front entrance of the courthouse to go a-strolling, the court and others could not have been more astounded. Mr. Butterworth was the first to recover from the attack and, as there was but one course for him to pursue, he blandly said:

“I am keenly desirous to have my friend attempt to establish his fact. I shall be greatly interested in studying his mode of procedure.”

But despite the assurance expressed in this mocking challenge, the old lawyer was rather disturbed. For some inexplicable reason Dr. Pinkey was shrinking from the ordeal.

“Then, with the court’s permission, I will proceed to gratify my friend,” observed counsel. In a low, even voice he next asked, “Doctor, I want you to tell me what you saw when you gazed from the window. Anything that impressed you as being unusual, extraordinary?”

The witness licked his dry lips for a few moments while the court-room strained in amazed attention, and in a husky voice finally replied,

“I thought I saw an ostrich lying on the snow.”

The Surrogate slumped back in his chair and plucked vaguely at the hem of his gown. At last he managed to direct,

“Stenographer, read the answer.”

“ ‘I thought I saw an ostrich lying on the snow,’ ” complied the stenographer.

“Lord bless me!” gasped the dazed court.

“An ostrich?” murmured Mr. Riggsley, as calmly as if it were the most natural object in the world to behold in a winter landscape. “What else, pray?”

“I saw the figure of a man, with arms outstretched,” mumbled the witness, wiping beads of sweat from his brow. “Near him was a large heart — that is, something of the shape of a heart, such as we see on valentines.”

“Do I understand the witness to say he saw a valentine?” exclaimed the bewildered court.

After counsel and the stenographer had put his honor right, the former coaxed,

“And what else did you see?”

The witness shuddered and with great difficulty confessed,

“I next noticed the word ‘Insane’, printed in tall letters across the snow.”

The gaze of the court became glassy as it rested on the witness. Only Mr. Riggsley and Mr. Butterworth seemed entirely composed. The former again prompted,

“And what did you do?”

“I was much upset,” muttered the witness. “I procured a lantern from the stable and went out to investigate.”

“Tell us all about it,” urged Mr. Riggsley. “What did you find?”

“Nothing,” groaned the witness. “The snow was unbroken, except for a few tracks. There was nothing on the snow.” Without waiting to be questioned he rapidly stated that he returned to the house and on entering the servants’ door met Professor Quell, who had arrived at the mansion after Mr. Asher left the house on his sleigh-ride. Professor Quell asked what had taken him abroad at such an hour, and remarked on his show of agitation. “I asked the Professor to accompany me to the smoking-room, where I again saw the same objects on the snow. I called him to the window and requested him to tell me what he saw. He displayed much surprise and said he saw nothing but snow.”

“Isn’t it probable that the objects you believed you saw were the result of shadows?” hopefully inquired the court.

“There was no moon at that hour and there were no shadows,” wearily replied the witness.

“That’s all,” said Mr. Riggsley. “I now ask that the entire testimony of this witness be eliminated from the record, as by his own evidence he is incompetent to give expert testimony in this case.”

“Wait a bit,” mildly requested Mr. Butterworth. “I wish to ask the witness if he has any explanation for this experience.”

“I can only set it down to a phantasm, an optical illusion,” sadly confessed the witness. “I never experienced it before or since.”

“After being deceived by your visual sense, when your mind should have been tranquil and composed, do you mean to say you were not grossly deceived in your estimate of Mr. Asher’s mental condition?” demanded Mr. Riggsley.

“I must have been the victim of some passing mental disorder,” wildly cried the witness. “But I still insist that Mr. Asher was sane and competent to transact any business.”