Молли Фитц - Kitty Confidential

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I was just your normal twenty-something with seven associate degrees and no idea what I wanted to do with my life. That is, until I died… Well, almost.
As if a near-death experience at the hands of an old coffeemaker wasn’t embarrassing enough, I woke up to find I could talk to animals. Or rather one animal in particular.
His full name is Octavius Maxwell Ricardo Edmund Frederick Fulton, but since that’s way too long for anyone to remember, I’ve taken to calling him Octo-Cat. He talks so fast he can be difficult to understand, but seems to be telling me that his late owner didn’t die of natural causes like everyone believes.
Well, now it looks like I no longer have a choice, apparently my life calling is to serve as Blueberry Bay’s first ever pet whisperer P.I while maintaining my façade as a paralegal at the offices of Fulton, Thompson & Associates.
I just have one question: How did Dr. Doolittle make this gig look so easy?

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“Wow, you really can hear me,” the voice said again. “By the way, hi, I’m Octavius Maxwell Ricardo Edmund Frederick Fulton, and I have some demands.”

I was having a difficult time keeping track of all the threads of conversation. I knew the partners were worried about me and about themselves, but I still couldn’t identify the mystery speaker or figure out what he wanted. “Octavius Maxwell… who?”

“Honey, are you talking about the cat?” Mrs. Fulton asked, picking the tabby off from my chest.

My straining lungs thanked her, and immediately I felt stronger.

In a cutesy baby voice, Diane held the cat up to her face and cooed, “Are you trying to help our Angie feel better? You’re such a sweet fuzzy wuzzy.”

The cat turned to me and narrowed his eyes into slits. “Heeeeelp meeeee.”

Energized at last by my need to find out what the heck was going on, I managed to sit up and look around the room.

“Oh, good. Now that you can move again, Peters will take you to the hospital,” Thompson decreed.

Bethany sighed but didn’t argue the point.

“Wait!” The tabby cat trotted up to me the second Diane set him back on the floor. “What about my demands?”

I stared at him, dumbfounded. There was absolutely no way…

The cat flicked his tail and emitted a low growl from deep in his throat. “I know you can hear me, so how about doing the polite thing and keeping up your end of the conversation, huh?”

“What do you want?” I whispered, but still everyone in the office could see and hear the crazy lady talking to the cat she’d just met.

“My owner was murdered, and I need you to help me prove it. Also of equal importance, I haven’t been fed in hours. Maybe years.” His ears fell back against his head and his eyes widened, making me feel inexplicably fond of him despite his bad attitude.

Then the first part of what he said hit me, and I gasped. “Murdered?”

Bethany tittered nervously and grabbed me by the arm. “Okay, let’s get you to the hospital. Hallucinations are not a good sign.”

“But…” I began to argue. That argument fell away when I realized I had no sane or valid reason to resist.

“Murdered!” the cat shouted after me dramatically. “She was offed before her time, and now that I know you can hear me, you’re going to help me get her the justice she deserves. It’s the least I can do to thank her for all the years she spent feeding me and arranging my pillows just as I like them. Also, did you hear the part about me needing to be fed?”

Bethany and I had almost made it to the doorway. That meant it was my last chance to talk to the cat. For all I knew, we would never see each other again. Of course, I knew it was totally crazy to assume there was even a chance any of this being real, but still, I couldn’t ignore the fact that the talking tabby needed my help.

“I want to help!” I bellowed back into the room just before the door closed behind us.

“No, you need help,” Bethany growled, sounding even more like an animal than the cat had. “Thanks a lot, by the way. This was the first time they’ve included me in something this important to the firm. Now, thanks to your little act with the coffeemaker, I’m going to miss it.”

That hurt almost as bad as the zap from the coffeemaker. “You honestly don’t think I electrocuted myself just to sabotage you, do you?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I just have to work twice as hard to get ahead since I’m the only female associate, and everyone wants to put me on the baby track instead of the partner track.”

“Yeah, well… at least you’re not just some glorified secretary.” I honestly couldn’t believe Bethany was complaining about her problems when I’d just had a near-death experience a few minutes earlier…

Or maybe I could. It was Bethany, after all.

She settled me into the passenger seat of her car. It was a newer model Lexus, which told me she probably didn’t have things quite as bad as she thought. Still, I felt guilty for costing her what she considered to be her big shot, so I said, “For what it’s worth, you’re the smartest one of them all.”

She laughed as she buckled her seatbelt and adjusted the rear-view mirror. “Even more than Thompson and Fulton?”

I nodded, and the movement made me dizzy. “Especially more than Thompson and Fulton.”

We shared a brief glance of camaraderie before she backed out of her spot and navigated onto the main road. Hopefully there would be no more trains passing through today, because despite our brief bond of sisterhood, I wasn’t sure how long either of us could handle being trapped in a car together.

“Thanks for taking me, even though I know you didn’t want to. You don’t have to wait around. Just drop me off and I’ll call my nan to come get me when I’m done.”

“Already planned on it. If I hurry, I can still make part of the reading.” She tapped at her temple to once again show her superior thinking.

And just like that, we were back to normal.

As for me? I wasn’t so sure.

CHAPTER THREE

Isat swinging my legs off the side of a wheeled hospital bed as the emergency room doctor laughed right in my face.

“You actually got electrocuted by an old coffeemaker?” Whatever kind of reception I might have expected to get at the hospital, this definitely wasn’t it.

I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away so I wouldn’t have to look at his inappropriately amused expression. “Yes, I don’t see why that’s funny.”

He finally sobered up as he twiddled his pen between his fingers like a strange tic. Studying me with a slight frown, he asked, “And it caused you to lose consciousness?”

“Yes.” We’d been over this before.

“Did you hit your head on the way down?”

“I don’t think so.” There was still plenty about my accident I couldn’t quite wrap my head around, but at least I felt fine physically.

The doctor stuck his pen back into his pocket and peered into my eyes before declaring, “Well, you look okay to me. The most I’d prescribe to you is a dose of regular strength Tylenol in case there’s any pain from hitting the floor like you did.”

He hesitated for a moment, then shook his head and offered a wry laugh. “It’s strange, though… the voltage in that coffeemaker should have only given you a light zap. I’m surprised you had such a strong reaction.”

So, we were back to this. I needed to get out of there before he called in his entire staff to check out the freak on display in the ER.

“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.

His vision narrowed. “Yes, thanks is right. Be thankful you haven’t got any burns. No concussion, either. But you did manage to score a day off work, huh?” The doctor had the audacity to wink at me before letting out another chuckle and turning to walk away.

“I didn’t do this to myself on purpose!” I called after him, trying not to let my frustration get the better of me. What a jerk.

When I was sure he wouldn’t be coming back, I shot a quick text to Nan and gathered my things to go wait for her outside. The whole time I sat there waiting, I didn’t see a single person come or go through those spinny glass doors. Even though Blueberry Bay wasn’t the most densely populated area, I still expected the hospital to see some activity. Then again, maybe it was a good thing that clown of a doctor didn’t have any actual sick people to look after.

I paced back and forth along the curb, trying my best to recall every detail of that morning. As unkind as the doctor had been, he did have a point. I’d nearly died at the hands of an old coffeemaker, and when I’d woken up again, I could talk to animals.

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