Ник Сайнт: Purrfect Crime

I wheeled around. “What?!”

“Chase had no reason to punch that man. He could have simply pointed out to him in a firm voice that he was trespassing and kindly have requested him to leave.”

“He did! And the guy called him a Nazi pig!”

“Well, I’m sure it’s all one big misunderstanding,” said Dooley vaguely, directing a keen look at Harriet. Then it dawned on me. He was simply trying to get in good with the feisty white cat. Nice! My best friend was openly disagreeing with me so he could score points with Harriet. Great going, Dooley.

Just then, Odelia approached, glanced around, and then whispered, “Max! Dooley! Where are you guys?”

It was our cue and we emerged from beneath the vehicle, but not before taking a look around to ascertain whether Rex and Rollo were gone. They were.

“What were you all doing underneath the car?” asked Odelia with an expression of surprise on her face.

“Oh, just holding an emergency meeting,” I said. “Us cats like to hold our meetings under cars. It seems to stimulate our creativity for some reason.”

“Yeah, must be the presence of all that oil and grease,” said Brutus a little pompously. “Oils the creative processes, it does.”

Dooley was rubbing his shoulder where Brutus had just punched him. The big cat had taken a dim view of Dooley’s efforts to get in good with his girlfriend and had shown him what he felt about that. As a consequence, Harriet was seeing her beau in an entirely new light as well, for she said, “Why did you punch Dooley, Brutus? That was uncalled for and absolutely unnecessary.”

“I, um…” the black cat began.

“You’re just as bad as Chase Kingsley,” Harriet said with a shake of the head, and then hopped into the pickup, following Odelia’s example.

We all filed in after her. “Who was that man Chase knocked out?” asked Harriet.

“Oh, just some protestor,” said Odelia, buckling up. She turned to us. “So? What did you guys find out?”

“That Donna Bruce had a very bad taste in pets,” I said, and told her about our unproductive encounter with Rex and Rollo.

“And that Chase Kingsley is a very violent man,” said Harriet primly.

“And that Bradley Cooper looks great with a beard,” Dooley added, earning himself a smile from Harriet and a scowl from Brutus.

Ignoring the remark about Bradley Cooper, Odelia asked, “Why do you think Chase is a violent man, Harriet?”

“Did you not see how he simply knocked out an innocent bystander, absolutely unprovoked? I think it raises all kinds of issues, Odelia. One of which is that the man is obviously completely out of control.”

“I think you’ve got that wrong, Harriet,” said Odelia to my surprise. “Chase was hit over the head by the man. All he did was retaliate.”

“See?” I asked triumphantly. “Chase had every right to knock that guy’s block off.”

“I still think it was uncalled for and very, very rude,” Harriet insisted. “And it shows a side of the man’s character that I’d never seen before.”

“I think it was heroic,” I said. “He obviously was trying to protect Odelia.”

“Who was in no danger whatsoever,” Harriet countered.

“She was. The man is a menace. Someone had to take him down and Chase did.”

“I think Harriet is right,” Dooley piped up, gulping slightly when Brutus gave him one of his trademark scowls again. “And it’s all in the Constitution and all that…” His voice died away.

Odelia, clearly not in the mood for this conversation, said, “Look, I need you to focus on finding Donna Bruce’s killer, not comment on Chase’s alleged violent tendencies. Are you going to help me or not? If not, that’s fine with me. I’ll just drop you off at the house and you can continue this pointless discussion indefinitely.”

“Oh, no, we are going to help you,” I said quickly. “I mean, I am going to help you.”

“Me, too,” said Brutus. “In fact I’m pretty sure I already know who the killer is. I just need some time to come up with the evidence that will tie this case together.”

I eyed him dubiously. I was pretty sure he had no clue who the killer was.

“And I also have a pretty good idea who did it,” said Harriet primly.

“Me too,” Dooley said weakly. “I’m sure I have a great idea who killed…”

“Donna Bruce,” I said helpfully.

“Exactly,” Dooley said.

Odelia eyed us with a glint of humor in her eye. “So you all know who the killer is, huh? So when are you going to tell me?” We all started talking simultaneously, and she held up her hands in a bid to silence us. “You need to work together on this, you guys.”

“I cannot in all good conscience collaborate with anyone who condones violence,” said Harriet, directing a critical eye at me and Brutus. “That is simply out of the question.”

“Me either,” said Dooley. “I don’t violently condone a conscience. Absolutely not.”

“Right,” said Odelia with a slight grin. “Looks like the allegiances have shifted again. So what I’ll do is appoint a lead investigator in this case. He or she will be the one who takes the lead and who will bring this case to a close.”

I frowned. What was she talking about? I was her main cat. Always had been. She was my human, after all. Harriet belonged to Marge. Dooley belonged to Vesta. Brutus belonged to Chase. I was the only one who belonged to her. So technically I was the only lead investigator in any case she was involved in. But she ignored my studious frown.

“And I’m picking Harriet,” she finally said after a moment’s deliberation.

Dooley, Brutus and I all exclaimed “What?!!!”

“Yes, I think Harriet is going to be great,” said Odelia with a smile.

Harriet was beaming. “Oh, Odelia, you won’t regret this!” she exclaimed. “I’m going to catch this killer for you!”

“I know you will, honey,” said Odelia. “The rest of you guys can just sit this one out, all right? Harriet is going to catch this killer all by herself.” And with these words, she turned to the front again and started up the car. It rumbled to life with a throaty purr.

Harriet’s smile waned a little. “Wait, what?”

“You’re on your own, honey,” said Odelia. “Max, Dooley and Brutus are out.”

“But…” Harriet frowned, thinking this through. “You mean I have to do this all by myself?”

Odelia glanced over her shoulder. “Is that a problem?”

“No!” Harriet was quick to say. “No, I—I can do this. Of course I can.”

“That’s what I thought. In fact, now that I come to think of it, Chase and I will sit this one out as well. Chase is entirely too violent—you got that right. And I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, as usual.” She sighed. “So I guess it’s all up to you, honey.”

Harriet’s lips moved wordlessly, as panic was clear in her eyes. “All up to me,” she echoed.

“Yep. Good thing you’re up to the task, or else I’d be worried if I was one of Donna Bruce’s relatives. Or, God forbid, Sweetums or Honeychild. I’m sure they want to know what happened to their mother, poor kids.”

The distinct look of panic in Harriet’s eyes had increased. Then, suddenly, she cried out, “Don’t do it!”

Odelia frowned. “Don’t do what, honey?”

“Don’t let me do this by myself! I’m—I’m not up to the task! I—I wouldn’t know where to begin. Let’s…” She directed a pleading glance in my direction. “Let’s all do this together. As a team. Just the way we always do. Please, Odelia?”

Odelia thought about this for a moment. “But I thought you said Brutus was entirely too violent? And so was Max? And, for that matter, Chase? I got the distinct impression you thought you could handle this all on your own, without any help from anyone?”