Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Cut

Odelia nodded. And when Chase gestured with his head to Gran, she understood his meaning. Not only was she to keep an eye on Leonidas Flake and the crime scene, but also on her grandmother, who was now checking under the bed, as if fully expecting another killer to be holed up there.

Chase and the other police officers walked out and closed the door behind them and then it was just her and Gran and… the dead man.

Chapter 7

Instead of joining Odelia and Chase inside the house, as was our habit, we’d instead opted to inspect the outer rim of the Leonidas dwelling. Not that this was part of a new strategy on our part. We were upset with Odelia, and wanted to showcase that annoyance by doing things our way instead of hers. Not that it would do us a lot of good. Humans are notoriously obtuse, and it would take more than the silent treatment for Odelia to become aware of our grievances.

“So what’s the plan?” asked Brutus now, and I had to confess that I didn’t have any. And since Harriet, usually filled to the brim with plans, was coming up empty in that department, too, and Dooley was, as usual, a spent force when it came to racking the old noggin, we simply wandered around aimlessly, deciding that instead of coming up with a plan to aid and abet our human in solving yet another crime, we were going to go on strike for once.

“On strike?” asked Dooley. “What’s a strike, Max?”

“It means we’re not going to do what we usually do and instead do nothing at all,” I explained.

“Oh, you mean taking a break?”

“No, going on strike,” said Harriet. “Like factory workers when negotiations between management and trade unions have broken down and failed to reach the pay raise anticipated.”

Dooley stared at me.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Harriet burst out. “We’re not going to help Odelia solve her murder for her this time, all right? Instead we do nothing.”

Dooley continued mystified, though. “But… why?”

“For one thing, the murder has already been solved,” I said. “Clearly the boyfriend did it. And for another, if Odelia doesn’t care about us, why should we care about her? Or the murder cases she decides to get involved in?”

This was clearly a tough one, and Dooley stared at me for a moment before responding. “Because that’s what we always do?”

“Well, I for one think it’s time we switched up our routine,” said Harriet. “How long have we been assisting Odelia with this murder business?”

“Um… a long time?” Dooley hazarded a guess.

“Exactly! Too long. We’re cats. We’re not even supposed to be involved in this crime stuff. What we should do is lie around, have a bit to eat from time to time, or go for a stroll, and generally have a great old time. What we shouldn’t be doing, because it is unnatural, and not in our job description, is hunt around for killers. It’s dangerous, and it’s not a lot of fun.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Brutus. “I kinda like hunting around for horrible killers.”

“Speak for yourself. I’ve had enough of this nonsense, and I think going on strike, as Max suggests, is a great idea. In fact I think we should go on an indefinite strike.”

“Meaning?” asked Brutus.

“Meaning we hand in our resignation! We tell Odelia that we won’t be her flunkeys any longer and that from now on she can find her own killers.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” said Dooley, always the most conscientious of the lot. “Odelia relies on us to bring her those vital clues she likes so much.”

“Well, from now on she’ll just have to root around for those vital clues herself, won’t she? In fact,” she added, getting up from her prostrate position, “I’ve seen all I need to see of this horrible place. Brutus, let’s go home.”

And since a suggestion from Harriet always has the ring of finality to it, Brutus had no other choice than to follow her home. Before she turned away, though, she had one last thing to say. “If you two decide to stick around and help Odelia in any way, you’re the worst suckers in the history of suckerhood.”

“We’re not sticking around, are we, Dooley?” I said.

“I don’t mind sticking around,” said Dooley.

“Of course you don’t,” said Harriet, a little nastily I thought. “What about you, Max? You’re the one who suggested we go on strike.”

“I know,” I said. “But we just got here, and I don’t feel like walking all the way back to the house.”

“Well, I do,” she said, and beckoned for her mate to follow her.

“Sorry, guys,” said Brutus. “Looks like you’ll have to go on strike all by yourselves.”

I had a feeling Brutus was still a little fuzzy about the whole strike concept, but I didn’t feel like explaining it to him, so I merely held up a paw in goodbye, and then Harriet and Brutus were off for a leisurely walk through the outer boroughs of Hampton Cove.

“I’m not sure I want to strike, Max,” said Dooley. “Is it difficult?”

“It’s very easy,” I said. “You simply don’t do what you normally do.”

He thought hard about this, judging from the thought wrinkles on his brow. “So… we’re supposed to be looking around for witnesses of this murder business, right?”

“Right.”

“So… going on strike means we don’t look for witnesses of the murder?”

“Exactly!”

His face fell. “But then what are we supposed to do? I mean, this striking business seems to be more a lack of activity and not an activity in itself.”

“We can simply lounge around out here and wait for Odelia to return and take us back into town. In the meantime we take a nap or something.”

“But if she asks what we’ve discovered, what are we going to tell her?”

“We tell her the truth. That we’re on strike and we haven’t discovered a single thing.”

He gave me a dubious look. “I don’t think she’ll be happy about that.”

“That’s the point, Dooley. We show her that we’re not happy by not doing what she tells us to do, at which point she’ll realize how badly she’s been treating us and she’ll repent and promise to do better next time.”

“And do you think that’s going to work?”

“I don’t know, Dooley. But we have to try. It’s obvious she and Chase are getting ready to leave Hampton Cove and start a new life across the pond, leaving us in the hands of Tex and Marge and Gran. And even though I believe in every individual’s right to map their own course in life, I still feel we should express our disappointment and try to persuade her to include us in her plans.” Though, truth be told, if Odelia really was planning on leaving us behind, I didn’t know if I wanted to be included in her future endeavors. A human capable of betrayal on such a massive scale wasn’t the kind of human I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, if you know what I mean.

Dooley seemed to feel the same way, for he now plunked down on the fashion designer’s smooth lawn, and heaved a deep sigh as he placed his head on his front paws. “Life is complicated, Max, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, I do,” I said simply, and lay down on the manicured turf next to Dooley, placing my chin on my paws just like him.

After a moment, he asked, “So are we on strike now?”

“We’re on strike,” I confirmed.

“Nice,” he said. “I kinda like it.”

“Me, too, actually. Peaceful.”

“Very peaceful.”

And in spite of our predicament, we decided to make the best of things by enjoying this rare lull in our busy schedule. And we’d been dozing for the better part of half an hour, the sun warming our weary bones, when a green van came driving up to the house, its tires crunching the gravel. We watched on as it pulled to a full stop and a man came stepping out. He was dressed in a long black overcoat, and had flowing blond hair and a nice blond mustache and beard. On top of his head was a fashionable homburg hat and he was carrying a suitcase. Next, a cat came hopping out of the van. One of those Siamese specimens. Very skinny, but also very loud. So loud we could hear him complaining all the way to where we were lying on Flake’s lawn.