Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

Still, her phone call with Chase was waiting, and she didn’t want to miss it for the world, so on her feet she was, and staggering toward the bathroom for a refreshing shower.

“At least today we won’t run into Scarface, aka Jack Davenport,” I told Dooley as I attended to my morning toilette, which consists of applying my raspy tongue to every part of my physique I’m able to reach, while Dooley did the same. He usually finishes quicker, as he doesn’t have quite as much acreage to cover. Or maybe his tongue is bigger.

“I wonder what Harriet and Brutus have been up to,” said Dooley, proving once again that members of a species are mainly interested in what members of the same species are up to. Cats like to know the latest gossip about other cats, and the same goes for humans.

“I believe Harriet isn’t interested in solving this mystery as much as securing herself a part in Cat Passion Island,” I said. “Though if she really thinks Clint is crazy enough to create a reality show featuring cats, God help poor Brutus.”

It just showed you how far my relationship with Brutus had progressed. When first we met, he’d been a grade-A bully, breezing into our lives with all the cockiness of a cop’s cat. Now, after having spent a couple of years as Harriet’s helpmeet, he was as docile as a newly born lamb, and even a little catpecked. Or a lot.

“I think Brutus would have preferred to be on this island,” said Dooley. “So he could hang out with us.”

“Too bad cats don’t swim,” I said. “Otherwise he could have made the passage and joined us.”

“And Harriet, too,” said Dooley.

“And Harriet,” I agreed after a pause. To be honest there are times when I can do without Harriet’s company. She’s a dear friend but can be a touch overbearing.

Odelia came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her slender frame and another towel like a turban around her hair, and started going through her closet in search of something suitable to wear.

“No jogging today?” I asked, surprised.

“No, I’m frankly beat,” she said. “If anyone catches me I’ll tell them I’m going for my morning walk.”

It definitely suited me a lot better than the running thing. I really don’t see what’s so appealing about the concept of jogging. It makes one sweat profusely and turns one’s face beet-red. A very unhealthy habit, if you ask me, and even potentially deadly.

Finally having settled on a simple ensemble of jeans shorts, crop top and ball cap, we were off to find Chase at the end of our journey.

Once again, we passed through peaks and vales, languidly watched over by the island’s tallest mountain, named Khao Pom, and finally arrived at our destination without a hitch or a Scarface arresting our progress.

We all moved into the shack, and Odelia took out her phone and waited until the clock struck seven. On the dot, the gizmo started to vibrate happily.

“Hey, babe,” Chase’s sonorous voice sounded, and Odelia smiled.

“Hey, Chase. I missed you.”

“How are things going over there?”

“Pretty okay, though I managed to bean one seducer last night, and another was attacked by my cats. So I guess it’s two-nil for Team Odelia.”

“You beaned a seducer? Not the one you were gabbing with on the beach?”

“No, he was jumped by Max and Dooley. But how did you know I was talking to Mike on the beach?”

“Campfire,” said Chase curtly. “They made a big production of your tête-à-tête. So was it? A big deal, I mean?”

I could tell that Chase was trying to sound casual, but that watching Odelia chat up one of the seducers must have hit him hard.

“We were just talking,” said Odelia. “Mike isn’t interested in me, Chase. He’s engaged to be married and this is just a way for him to further his modeling career.”

Chase blew out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad we have these daily phone calls. I don’t know what I’d do. They make it look as if you and this Mike are practically an item.”

“It’s what they do,” said Odelia, nodding. “It’s how they make people lose their heads and do foolish things they later regret.”

“I hate this show. I think there should probably be a law against this kind of thing.”

“So Kimmy tells me you and Gran and Scarlett had a great time last night?”

Chase uttered a groan. “Two seductresses in my bed, and a gong. My night was a big hit.”

“I got a gong, too, only my seducer needed stitches after the stunt he pulled.” And in a few words she regaled Chase with the story of seducer Fred and his injudicious initiative.

“Wait till I get my hands on that sneaky little—“

“He’s learned his lesson,” Odelia said with a laugh. “In fact I have a feeling the entire contingent of seducers will run a mile when they see me coming. Word spreads pretty fast around here.”

“Good,” said Chase decidedly.

The topic of seducers and seductresses exhausted, they turned the conversation to the topic of the missing women. And Odelia had just started telling Chase what Jack Davenport had said about Joanna, when suddenly a loud banging sound interrupted us.

The door to the shack flew open and revealed Clint Bunda, looking appropriately aggrieved, and accompanied by no less than two cameramen, both pointing their cameras at Odelia, who was holding the phone.

“Chase?” she said now. “I’m going to have to call you back.” She carefully hit the disconnect button, then sheepishly grinned at the producer. “Hi, Clint. You’re up early.”

Chapter 34

After the producer had confiscated her phone, and escorted her from the shack, he gave her a thorough dressing-down.

“I could have you sent away for this,” he growled, hands on his hips and looking like a disappointed parent. The words ‘I’m not angry but I’m disappointed’ clearly trembled on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” said Odelia, looking as contrite as she could manage. “I miss Chase, and these daily phone calls keep me going.”

“The whole point of the show is to keep you separated from your boyfriend!”

“I know. I’m sorry,” she repeated, hanging her head.

“Look, I’m going to give you a pass,” said Clint. “Just this once. And only because you’re our most popular contestant.”

Odelia looked up at this. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve been posting snippets of the footage we’ve shot so far on social media and our YouTube channel, whetting the public’s appetite for the upcoming season, and your clips are consistently number one. In fact the clips of your cats clobbering Mike and you knocking out Fred have gone viral. People can’t wait to see you in action, Odelia!”

“Um, that’s great, I guess,” she said, not knowing exactly how to feel about this.

“So I want you to continue—but no more secret phone calls to the boyfriend, okay?”

“I promise, Clint. I’ll be good from now on.”

Unless Kimmy had another spare phone she didn’t have a lot of choice, did she?

“Listen,” he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder and started steering her away from the shack. “If you could keep this up, there might be a bonus in it for you.”

“Keep what up?” she asked.

“The public loves what you’re doing, so if you could do more of it, they’ll lap it up.”

“You mean knock out more seducers?”

“No, no, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Well, yeah, maybe. I don’t know. Just do what you do, and I’ll make sure you get the best coverage. I’m talking prime placement on the network’s website, paid ads, the works. If I’m not mistaken—and I rarely am—you’re going to be this season’s star, sweetheart. And we’re going to milk it for all it’s worth.”