Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

She seemed a little annoyed at that, so I quickly decided to rope her into the investigation. But when I gave her the skinny on Kirk Weaver and the events as they’d transpired at Allison’s place, she gave me scant attention. In the end she returned to her initial topic of conversation. “There must be someone in your circle of friends and acquaintances who fits the bill, though, Max.”

“Fits the bill for what?” I asked.

“For Chloe, of course. Who is she, Max? Think hard.”

I thought hard, but couldn’t come up with a single name. “I’m sorry,” I said finally. “I don’t know anyone who’s that smart, intelligent and wise. No one comes to mind.”

“Oh, Max,” she suddenly snapped, her eyes a little fierier than usual. “Sometimes you can be such a jerk, you know?”

And with these words, she stalked off.

Odd, I felt, but not unusual. Harriet is prone to these outbursts from time to time. So I decided to ignore her and go in search of my wingman Dooley. There was a theory I wanted to discuss with him. I bumped into Kingman instead, who gave me a curious look. “I heard you’re out looking for Kirk Weaver’s killer?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Anything you can tell me about him?”

“Well… the weird thing is that I thought he was already dead.”

“No, he died this morning. Killed with a knife to the chest.”

“Odd,” said Kingman, frowning as he thought back. “I heard a rumor not that long ago that Kirk Weaver was about to die, or had died. But now I can’t remember who told me.”

“When you remember, tell me. It’s important,” I said, clapping him on the back.

“I will,” he said, clearly perturbed that his memory was failing him to such an extent. Then his face cleared. “Say, listen, Max. Don’t you have a question for Chloe?”

“No, I don’t,” I said.

“Oh, come on. You must have a question. Big feline detective like you? Tell me.”

I groaned inwardly. All this Chloe and Gabi stuff wasn’t really my thing. Still, to humor my friend I thought for a moment. “Oh, there’s one thing I always wanted to know,” I finally said as a brainwave suddenly hit me.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“The thing is… I’ve been a confirmed bachelor for a long time, right?”

“Uh-huh. And good for you, Max. At least one cat should set an example that life consists of more than flirting with every single female in town,” he said as he winked at a pretty feline walking by. She giggled excitedly.

“Well… sometimes I wonder if being a bachelor is the right approach. They say there’s a lid for every pot. Is that actually a thing, or just one of those things people say? I’m just asking for a friend, you see.”

“Deep, Max,” said Kingman, nodding. “Very deep. I’ll be sure to pass it on to Chloe.”

“You do that, and let me know when she responds.”

I felt lighter on my feet when I went in search of Dooley. It wasn’t one of those questions I really needed answered right away, but it was something I’d wondered.

I finally found Dooley, seated on the jungle gym and waiting for the show to begin.

“Oh, there you are, buddy,” I said. “I was looking for you.”

“I just talked to Brutus,” he said. “He wanted to know if I had a question for Chloe.”

“And? Do you have a question for Chloe?” I asked as I took a seat next to him.

“Well, there’s one thing that keeps bugging me, Max,” he said. “One of those questions that cats have probably asked themselves since time immemorial, you know?”

“Mh-mh?” I said, figuring it probably had something to do with the meaning of life.

“I really hope Chloe knows the answer, Max, because it’s been keeping me up at night, you know?”

“Sure,” I said. “So what’s the question?”

“Well, you know how we discussed static electricity? And how it leads to babies?”

“Uh-huh,” I said, while I thought, ‘Uh-oh.’

“And how the more hair a cat has, the more static electricity is created?”

“Okay.”

“Well, if that is true, and I think it is, why is it that Harriet doesn’t have a dozen kittens by now? She’s very hairy, Max, and sometimes when I get close to her I can feel the static electricity just coming off her in waves.”

“We talked about this, Dooley. Harriet is spayed, which means she can’t have babies.”

He stared at me. “But… babies come from electricity, Max, we established that this morning. So what does being spayed have to do with anything?”

I swallowed uncomfortably. “Did you… did you ask the question to Chloe?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Well, then,” I said, relaxing. “Let’s see what she has to say. I’m sure that if anyone knows the answer to that frankly fascinating question it’s her.”

“I’m glad I asked the question, Max,” he said earnestly.

“Me, too, buddy. Me, too. In fact from now on, whenever you have an important question like that, ask Chloe. I’m sure she’ll be able to answer every single one of them.”

A new era had arrived. An era in which I wouldn’t have to answer Dooley’s tough questions anymore. And as I silently thanked Chloe for her service, soon I was singing my heart out along with the rest of cat choir. The only thing that diminished my enjoyment to some degree were the dirty looks Harriet kept darting in my direction.

I had no idea why she was angry with me. Maybe I should ask Chloe?

Chapter 14

The next morning, Odelia walked to her editor’s office and knocked on the door before entering. Dan looked up from his computer. “You’re early,” he said, sounding surprised.

“I could say the same about you,” she said with a smile. It was still gratifying to her after all these years working for Dan that they were more like friends than employer and employee. Dan had never been a difficult boss, but now he was more like an honorary dad to her than an employer, and that’s the way she liked it. She wouldn’t have been able to work in an office where she was treated like a nameless underling.

“So what’s this I hear about a murder taking place at Allison Gray’s place?”

“Yeah, none other than Mr. Cat Whisperer himself was found dead by Allison’s niece yesterday. Pretty gruesome stuff.”

“Any idea who’s behind it?” asked the white-bearded editor as he put his hands behind his head.

“Nothing yet, but we’re working on it. You’ve heard nothing yourself? Any rumors about the guy flying around?”

“Only that he was going through a rough divorce and his wife followed him down here. She’s staying at the Hampton Cove Star.”

“I thought as much. Chase and I are going down there later to talk to her. Listen, what I wanted to ask you. Are you still refusing to tell me who the new advice columnist is?”

The older man’s face creased into a big smile. “Why? Don’t you like her advice? Or like it a little too well?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that it’s… weird.”

“Weird, how?”

“Well, I asked about my engagement with Chase, right? But she said something about my uncle running for mayor instead. The answer doesn’t seem to fit the question. And besides, how did Gabi even know that I have an uncle? It’s almost as if she knew who I was. Which means it must be someone from around here, right? And you always told me you hired the new Gabi online and she works from home in the Midwest somewhere.”

Dan had dropped his chin on his chest and was frowning. “I’ll have to talk to her about that. That is indeed a weird answer.” He looked up. “I could give you her name but it wouldn’t mean anything to you anyway, so…”

“All right, fine,” she said. “Have your little secret.” She dragged out a chair and took a seat. “There’s something else I wanted to run by you.”