Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Sidekick. Purrfect Deseit. Purrfect Ruse [calibre 5.14.0]

“Naturally,” I agreed, even though if I smelled something dead and decaying, I’d run a mile. But then that’s me, of course. One of those areas where Clarice and I differ.

“And that’s when I found him.”

“Him? So it’s a him?”

“Yep. Some dead dude, lying at the bottom of an elevator shaft, dead as a dodo.”

“Can you tell me exactly where you found this dead dude?” I asked dutifully, already figuring out how to reach Odelia and get the ball rolling on a rescue attempt—for in spite of Clarice’s words the man might not be dead yet, and could still be saved.

Clarice said, “I can do you one better. I’ll take you there. It’s not far from here.”

“Okay,” I said. “Show us the way, Clarice.”

And so we set out in Clarice’s wake: me, Dooley, Harriet and Brutus.

Clarice was right: it was only a ten-minute walk from the park where cat choir likes to engage in its nocturnal activities. And as we looked down into that elevator shaft, which was still under construction, I had to admit she’d been right on the money: this man was indeed very much dead and unfortunately medical assistance would be to no avail.

I sighed. “A lot of dead people are turning up in our town lately.”

“Only two dead people,” said Dooley. “Two is not a lot, is it?”

“Yeah, Max,” said Harriet, “one swallow doesn’t make a summer, and two dead bodies don’t make a massacre.”

“Good one, babe,” said Brutus with a chuckle.

“Well, this is where I leave you, guys,” said Clarice. “You’ll take it from here, I trust?”

“Yeah, thanks, Clarice,” I said.

“And if you find more dead bodies, please tell us,” said Dooley.

Clarice smiled. “Rest assured I will, Dooley.”

“Oh, wait, Clarice,” I said. “You didn’t happen to see anyone else around, did you?”

“No one. Why?”

“Well, it looks like this guy accidentally tumbled down this shaft, but you never know. He might also have been pushed.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” said Brutus. “This is clearly an accident, Max.”

“Yeah, obviously,” said Harriet, who was already losing interest in the dead guy now that the novelty had worn off.

“Max sees murder and mayhem everywhere,” Brutus explained to Clarice. “If he sees a dead body, immediately he assumes there must have been foul play involved. Whereas most people simply die, you know, either of natural causes or by accident.”

“I’m not saying he didn’t die by accident,” I said. “I’m just trying to cover all my bases.”

“And a good thing, too,” said Clarice. “But I have to disappoint you, Max. There was no one around when I stumbled upon the guy. So I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?”

“Take care, Clarice,” I said. “And thank you!” I called after her.

She held up her tail and made a little acknowledging swish-swish.

“And now the hard part,” I said. “One of us has to run home and get Odelia out here.”

“Why one of us?” asked Harriet. “Why can’t we all go home and let Odelia deal with this? Or Chase? It is their job to do this kind of thing, isn’t it? Not ours.”

“At least one of us has to stay here in case someone shows up,” I explained.

“Who’ll show up? It’s the middle of the night. Nobody is going to show up.”

“Oh, I see what he’s getting at,” said Brutus. “Max is thinking that if this was murder, the killer might come back and try to dispose of the body. Isn’t that what you’re thinking, Max?”

I admitted that I was thinking along those lines, and they both laughed.

“Oh, Max,” said Harriet when her laughter had expended itself. “You’re too funny. We already told you that this isn’t murder but an accident, so nobody is going to show up and nobody is going to dispose of any bodies.”

“Still,” I insisted. “I’d feel much better if one of us stayed behind and guarded the body.”

“Oh, have it your way,” said Harriet with an eyeroll. “You stay behind then, and we’ll go home and get some sleep.”

“And tell Odelia, right?” I asked, just to make sure.

“Of course we’ll tell Odelia,” said Harriet with another eyeroll. “What do you take us for? Noobs?”

Brutus patted my back, almost causing me to buckle under the onslaught. “You just stick around, Maxie baby,” he said with a grin. “And we’ll take care of everything.”

And with these words, they took off, still laughing at my expense. “Dooley, are you coming?” Harriet yelled over her shoulder.

“No, I think I’ll stay here with Max,” Dooley yelled back.

“Suit yourself!” said Brutus, and off they were.

For a moment, silence reigned, since I wasn’t talking but thinking about what had happened, and Dooley wasn’t talking but thinking about whatever he was thinking about, and obviously the dead man wasn’t talking since he was dead. Then Dooley said, “I hope they won’t forget to tell Odelia, otherwise we’ll be here all night.”

“I’m sure they won’t forget,” I said.

“Do you really think the man was murdered, Max?”

“I don’t know, Dooley. That’s for the police to decide. But if he was murdered, it’s important that we guard the scene, so nothing gets disturbed.”

“It’s strange though, isn’t it, Max?”

“What is, Dooley?”

“Two dead bodies. What if we keep finding dead bodies from now on, one per night?”

“I’d say the chances of that happening are very slim indeed.”

“I hope so. If we find a dead body every night, that’s three hundred and sixty-five bodies a year.”

“Uh-huh.”

“How many people are there in Hampton Cove, Max?”

“Um, I’d say about fifteen thousand.”

“That means that in just a few years the entire population of Hampton Cove will be extinct, and only us cats will be left if this keeps up.”

I laughed. “Your math is flawed, Dooley, and the chances of that happening are nil.”

“But what happens if the whole town dies out, Max? Who’s going to take care of us?”

“I’m sure that won’t happen, Dooley, and even if it does, there are still people left in the world who’ll be able to take care of us.”

“But what if all the people in all the towns in all the world suddenly end up at the bottom of a deep hole, Max, or at the bottom of an elevator shaft, who’s going to take care of us then?”

“Well, I guess then we’ll just have to join Clarice in the woods, and we’ll have to learn to fend for ourselves.”

“Oh,” he said, ruminating on that unappealing prospect. “Well, let’s hope you’re right, and it doesn’t happen. Cause I don’t think I’d enjoy living with Clarice in the woods and eating from dumpsters.”

“If all the people in all the towns in all the world are dead, Dooley,” I said, “there won’t be any more dumpsters, and Clarice will have to find her food some other way, and so will we.”

“Oh, no, Max!” he said, suddenly realizing the awful repercussions of his gloomy post-apocalyptic view, which seemed to come straight from a Stephenie Meyer novel. “That’s terrible!”

But lucky for me, just then Odelia and Chase arrived and came hurrying over to where we were guarding the dead man, and I didn’t have to speculate anymore on these Walking Dead scenarios of doom!

Chapter 19

Odelia looked around the small but cozy little studio. It hadn’t taken them long to find out that the man found at the bottom of the elevator shaft was named Darryl Farmer and that he lived with his girlfriend in a modest apartment in Leighton Heights. She and Chase had gone over there to talk to the girlfriend, and break the bad news to her.

“I knew this would happen one day,” said the girlfriend, whose name was Lucy Vale. She had long hair done up in dreadlocks, and was very pretty and petite, dressed in a flowing maroon robe. “I told him that if he kept this up, he’d end up dead.”