Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Sidekick. Purrfect Deseit. Purrfect Ruse [calibre 5.14.0]

“A thousand people!” Harriet cried.

“Is that a lot of people, Max?” asked Dooley.

“Yes, Dooley,” I said. “A thousand people at a wedding is a lot.”

“Too much!” said Harriet.

“I happen to agree with you,” said Gran. “Also, most of these people expect to be invited to the reception and the wedding dinner, which will probably bankrupt us.”

“Not to mention that you will have one angry caterer if you let in more people than originally contracted for,” Scarlett pointed out.

“Just the bottles of champagne we’ll be expected to serve at the wedding reception will probably put a serious dent in our family coffers,” said Gran.

“So what are you going to do?” Scarlett asked. “Call the whole thing off?”

“Well…” said Gran with a shrug.

Scarlett gasped in shock. “You’re not seriously thinking about calling off the wedding, are you? That would send a huge shockwave through the entire community!”

“It’s not exactly up to me, Scarlett. I’m not the one getting married. The final decision lies with Odelia and Chase. But if I were her…”

“You’d call it quits.”

“Things have gotten completely out of hand, that’s pretty obvious. So either we allow things to proceed as planned, and go bust, or we start limiting the number of people we can conceivably cater to, and risk antagonizing the entire population of this town and become personae non grata as a family, or… we simply call off the wedding and save our sanity, our financial situation, and our standing in the community.”

“If you call off the wedding your standing will take a big hit.”

“Not as big a hit as when the wedding turns into a complete disaster.”

“The main thing is that Odelia is happy,” said Dooley. “This is supposed to be the happiest day of her life, and if she’s going to be crying all the time, that’s not good.”

“No, I guess not,” said Harriet. “Instead of the happiest day of her life, it will turn into the worst day of her life.”

“I think Odelia should elope,” said Brutus. “What?” he added when all eyes turned to him—except Gran’s, as she was obligated, at least part of the time, to keep her eyes on the road—and Scarlett’s, since she couldn’t understand what we were saying.

“Elope!” cried Harriet. “What do you mean? You mean like run away from home?”

“No, just go to Vegas or one of those places where you can get an instant wedding and get it over with. She’s been talking about getting married for so long now, frankly I think she should just get it over with already so we can forget about the whole thing.”

“Brutus!” said Harriet looking shocked. “What an idea!”

“It’s a good idea,” he argued. “She’ll finally be married, it won’t cost her a thing—except the trip to Vegas and the hotel and whatever it costs to get the guy to dress up like Elvis and give them their blessing, and no one will be able to blame the family, as they’ll all point to Odelia and Chase and simply call it the folly of youth.”

“Odelia and Chase are not that young,” Harriet argued.

“Young enough to pull it off.”

Gran was smiling, I noticed. “I like your thinking, Brutus,” she said. “In fact I was thinking along the same lines myself, to be honest.”

“You were?” said Brutus.

“Only I don’t think Odelia is quite there yet.”

“Or Chase,” I said. “He probably isn’t quite there yet either.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure Chase is with me,” said Gran.

“With you on what?” asked Scarlett. “What are you talking about?”

“Brutus suggests that the best course of action would be for Odelia and Chase to have a quickie wedding in Vegas. No muss, no fuss.”

Scarlett laughed. “You gotta be kidding!”

“Nope. I’m even willing to spring for the whole thing, if she decides to pull the trigger.”

“You know what? If you can convince her to go through with this, I’ll chip in.”

“Deal,” said Gran, and held up her hand for a high five, which Scarlett promptly delivered.

And since the cat contingency in the backseat didn’t want to be left out, we all put our paws together too. We wouldn’t exactly be able to chip in. Financially, I mean. Since cats aren’t big fans of opening a bank account—or carrying wallets, for that matter. But the prospect of a wedding without the distinct possibility of being trampled by a raucous crowd of hundreds sounded very appealing to me. Though I wasn’t altogether sure about the Elvis costume. I might have to put my paw down on that part of the plan.

Chapter 27

“What did you think? Of the speech?” asked Charlene. She’d been reading in bed and now put her book down and took off her reading glasses.

Next to her, Alec also took off his glasses. He’d been reading about what constitutes the best type of fishing tackle.

“I thought your speech was wonderful, honey,” he said. “You held them all spellbound, like you usually do.”

“I thought Lord Hilbourne was pretty good, too. Well received, I thought.”

“Uh-huh,” said Alec with a marked lack of enthusiasm.

“What? You didn’t like his speech?”

“It was okay, I guess,” he said with a shrug.

“Okay? He had them all eating out of the palm of his hand. He wowed the crowd and gave them everything they came for and more.”

“Like I said, he was okay. I’ve heard better speeches,” said Alec, continuing to be noncommittal.

Charlene, fair-haired and a couple of years Alec’s junior, looked over to her partner, a half-smile playing on her lips. “You don’t like him, do you? You really don’t like the guy.”

“I don’t dislike him,” said Alec with a shrug.

“What don’t you like about him?” asked Charlene, who wasn’t fooled by this evasiveness. In the few months they’d been dating, and now that they’d practically moved in together, even though they still kept their own places for now, she’d gotten to know her man pretty well. She could tell he was holding something back, and was a little embarrassed about it, too.

“Look, he’s fine,” said Alec. “Like I said, I don’t like him, I don’t dislike him. I’m neutral, all right? I’m Switzerland.”

“Yeah, right, “said Charlene with a low chuckle. She took Alec’s arm and rubbed it affectionately. “Is my favorite chief of police a little jealous, perhaps?”

“I’m not jealous,” Alec grunted immediately, but he said it with such vehemence Charlene knew she’d hit pay dirt.

“You are jealous!”

“I just don’t understand why the guy had to hang around you so much. Laughing, touching your arm all the time, rubbing your back, whispering in your ear…”

“Alec Lip!”

“Flirting, okay! He was flirting with you!”

“Well, I guess maybe he was. He does that with all the girls. Just the way he is.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” Alec grumbled.

Charlene smiled and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. “Oh, you big grumpy bear.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t help it. When I see a guy like that—all floppy-haired and handsome and clever and… and fit!”

“He is fit,” Charlene agreed. “And he does have nice hair.”

“It just annoys the hell out of me, all right? I just wanted to…” He balled his hands into fists.

“You wanted to punch his lights out?”

Alec displayed the first hint of a smile in an evening in which he’d said precious little. Charlene now understood why. She’d thought he was too preoccupied with the murder case he was handling, but apparently it was Lord Hilbourne who’d gotten under his skin and not Bob Rector.

“Yes, I wanted to punch his lights out,” he confirmed. “And muss up his perfect hair.”