Тимоти Уилльямз - Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 126, No. 3 & 4. Whole No. 769 & 770, September/October 2005

“And two months ago I decided it was time for me to change that.”

“A single man who wants to get married?” Rosetta sat straighter in her chair. “An accountant, you said?”

“Who recently found the perfect woman,” Gina said.

“Oh.” Rosetta relaxed again. Why did it seem so hard to find a good, solid, ordinary man?

But Angelo screwed up his face. “Yet he tells you this, and now he wants something from us?”

“He found the perfect woman, but he lost her.”

“Careless,” Angelo said.

Rosetta gave Gina’s story renewed attention.

“So I began reading lonely-hearts columns,” Colin Cottard said. “I expect you think that rather sad.”

“I think nothing of the kind,” Gina said.

“It’s just that in my job... It doesn’t expose me much to women in a social context.”

“No?”

“And anyway, one has to be so careful in the workplace these days.” Cottard raised his eyebrows.

He means what? Gina thought. “I don’t...”

“I mean the fashion for sexual harassment.” He held up a hand to allow himself time to be more accurate. “Not the fashion for doing it. The fashion for seeing it everywhere. Or if not everywhere, then where it wasn’t seen before.”

“I can understand that must make one... more careful,” Gina said.

“Exactly. After some... confusing incidents — nothing involving me, I hasten to add — my firm sent us all on a sensitivity-training course. So now we just don’t know where we stand. And there’s no point taking chances. Not when one’s career is potentially at risk.”

“Many people use dating services these days,” Gina said, trying to move on. “Newspapers, on-line, introduction agencies. It’s much more acceptable than it used to be.”

Cottard accepted Gina’s reassurances with a silent nod.

“So you answered an ad?”

“Yes. In the newspaper.”

“And how did it work out?”

“It was quite, quite enchanting.”

For a moment Cottard’s face showed he was back on the date. There was a relaxation and pleasure about his expression that had been totally absent till then. But obviously something had gone wrong — he wouldn’t be here telling the story otherwise. Gina felt a flash of sympathy for the man.

She said, “You liked her. Didn’t she like you?”

“She certainly seemed to. She was refined without being stuffy. Cultured without being humourless. We kept away from the subject of work — hers and mine — and concentrated on the moment. She... had a good time. I’m sure of it.”

“So what’s the problem?” Angelo asked. “He likes her, she likes him. It’s a bingo.”

“Cottard certainly thought so. But now she won’t return his calls.”

“No?” Rosetta said.

“Ever since the date, all he gets is her machine.”

“How long ago is this date?” Angelo said.

“Ten days.”

“And she took his calls before?”

“Yes. When he answered her ad, they talked a few times and then arranged to meet.”

Angelo shrugged. “He liked her, but he was wrong about she liked him.”

“That happens, trust me,” Rosetta said. Her emphatic tone drew looks from both the others. “What?”

Gina said, “But Cottard doesn’t think he got it wrong. He did sensitivity training, don’t forget.”

“So is he sensitive?” Angelo asked.

“He feels that the good time over dinner was unmistakable. Good food, good wine, good talk.”

“Did he hit on her?” Rosetta asked.

“He says he was the perfect gentleman. She even kissed him on the cheek when they went to their cars.”

“That’s a good sign,” Angelo said.

“And,” Gina said, “when he said, ‘Good night,’ she said, ‘Hasta luego.’ ”

“She said what?” Rosetta said.

“Hasta luego,” Gina said. “It’s Spanish for ‘till later.’ Foreign languages are one of the things they have in common. She’s travelled and he’s done classes.”

“I could do classes.” Rosetta looked slightly shocked. “Did I say that out loud?”

“So there’s been no luego and ten days of hasta,” Angelo said. “What I don’t get is where we come in.”

“The woman clearly doesn’t want to socialize further with me. That part I get,” Colin Cottard said. “She’s already advertising again. In fact, I don’t think she ever stopped.”

“Where did you first see her ad?”

“In the Bath Chronicle, although subsequently I’ve found that she also advertises in the Bristol Evening Post, the Western Daily Press, and in Venue. Same ad, each place.” Cottard pushed a piece of paper across the coffee table.

As Gina took it, she said, “Do have another biscuit.”

“I shouldn’t, but I’m that upset by all this.” He took two.

“What does the ad say?” Rosetta asked.

Gina read, “Independent, attractive lady, thirties, seeks solvent male for good company, good food, and maybe more. Age, appearance, smoking habits immaterial.”

“That’s the ad he answered?” Rosetta said. “Huh!”

Angelo said, “So he got the good company. How about the food?”

“He says the meal was excellent.”

“So he didn’t get the ‘more.’ Is there some promise in these ads that it doesn’t say?” Angelo looked to his sister.

“What?” Rosetta said.

“They have abbreviations, don’t they? SOH to mean ‘sense of humour,’ yes?”

“What that really means is, ‘I expect you to laugh at my jokes.’ ”

“But this ‘maybe more.’ It is a promise? A code?”

Rosetta shook her head.

“So maybe means maybe,” Angelo said. “Hmmm. What about the ‘thirties’? Why not say the age?”

Rosetta shook her head at this, too. “Usually they do.”

“Cottard didn’t say anything about the woman’s age, pro or con,” Gina said. “Deena Scott is her name.”

“And he liked her, this client,” Angelo said. “But she didn’t like him. So it’s end of story, yes?” He frowned as he looked to his wife. “This Cottard. Is he a client now?”

“Tell me, Mr. Cottard,” Gina said. “What exactly would you like us to do for you?”

“I want you to find out where she lives.”

Gina frowned. “She didn’t tell you?”

“No. And the phone number I have is a mobile.”

“If she didn’t volunteer the information...”

“I know what you’re thinking, but I have no intention of turning up on her doorstep, or stalking her, or sending some vile thing through the post. I did well on the training course. I scored ninety-eight percent on the exam.”

“So why are you after the address?”

“Look, Mrs. Lunghi, I know there’s no future with Deena. I accept that. But I need to understand what happened, if I’m not to make the same mistake again.” Cottard sipped from his tea and reached for another biscuit. “I mean, I even whistled in the shower next morning.”

“He wants to hire us so he can find out why she didn’t like him?” Angelo’s face expressed his amazement. “He thinks we can do this?”

“Enough to leave a cash retainer,” Gina said.

“It’s grey, this area,” Angelo said. “Finding where she lives when she didn’t want him to know. Hmm.”

“I could go ask her,” Rosetta said.

“You?” Angelo said.

“Why not? Single woman to single woman.” They all knew how infrequently Rosetta got involved in agency cases.

“Why do you think she’s single?” Gina asked.

That stopped Rosetta for a moment.

“She advertises, but gives no information about where she lives or works, not even which city. When they talk she gives only a mobile phone. You have to ask why. One reason could be she has a husband.”