Robert Gulik - The Chinese Gold Murders

"What does it all mean?" Judge Dee asked testily when the din was diminishing.

"It was the husband's twin brother who visited the woman that night!" the sergeant explained hurriedly. "He had cut off his finger, so that the wife would think he was indeed her husband! That's why the piece is entitled `One Finger for One Night of Spring'!"

"What a story!" Judge Dee said, rising. "We'd better go back." The fat man in front of him was peeling an orange, and throwing the rinds carelessly over his shoulder into judge Dee's lap.

The stagehands were unrolling a huge red banner inscribed with five large black characters.

"Look, your honor!" Sergeant Hoong, said eagerly. "The next piece is `Three Mysteries Miraculously Solved by Judge Yü'!" "Well," Judge Dee said, resigned, "Magistrate Yü was the greatest detective of our glorious Han Dynasty, seven hundred years ago. Let's see what they make of that."

Sergeant Hoong sat down again with a contented sigh.

While the orchestra started a vivacious melody punctuated by the clacking of castanets, the stagehands carried a large red table on the stage. A huge figure with a black face and a long beard strode on the stage. He was clad in a flowing black robe embroidered with red dragons and wore a high black cap crowned with a ring of glittering ornaments. He sat down ponderously behind the red table, loudly acclaimed by the enthusiastic spectators.

Two men came up and knelt before the bench. They started a duet sung in a piercing falsetto. Judge Yü listened, combing his beard with his spread-out fingers. He raised his hand, but judge Dee couldn't see what he pointed at because just at that moment a small ragamuffin selling oil cakes tried to climb over the bench in front of him and got involved in a dispute with the fat man. But by now judge Dee's ears had become adjusted to the stage diction, and he understood snatches of the song which he could hear above the altercation going on in front of him.

When the small cake vendor had slid away the judge asked Sergeant Hoong, "Aren't those the two brothers again? I think the one accuses the other of having murdered their old father."

The sergeant nodded vigorously. The elder man on the stage rose and pretended to place a small object on the bench. Judge Yü acted as if he took it between thumb and forefinger, scrutinizing it with a deep frown.

"What is that?" Judge Dee asked.

"Haven't you got ears?" the fat man rasped over his shoulder. "It's an almond!"

"I see," Judge Dee said stiffly.

"Their old father," Hoong explained quickly, "left that almond as a clue to his murderer! The elder brother now says that his father wrote the name of the murderer on a piece of paper, concealed inside that almond."

Judge Yü acted as if he carefully unfolded a small piece of paper. Suddenly he produced as if from nowhere a sheet of paper over five feet long, inscribed with two large characters which he showed to the spectators. The crowd started to howl indignantly.

"That's the name of the younger brother!" Sergeant Hoong shouted.

"Shut up!" the fat man yelled out at him.

There was a frenzied outburst of the orchestra, gongs, cymbals and small drums striking up together. The younger brother rose and sang a passionate denial of his guilt, accompanied by a strident flute tune. Judge Yü looked from one brother to the other, angrily rolling his eyes. Suddenly the music stopped. In the dead silence that followed judge Yü leaned forward over the bench, grabbed the lapels of the robes of the two men, and dragged them toward him. He first smelled the mouth of the younger, then that of the elder brother. He roughly pushed the latter away, crashed his fist on the table and shouted something in a thunderous voice. The music struck up again a boisterous tune; the audience hurst out in acclamations. The fat man rose and roared, "Good! Good!" at the top of his voice.

"What happened?" Judge Dee asked, interested despite himself. "The judge said," Sergeant Hoong. replied, his goatee quivering with excitement, "that the elder brother smelled of almond milk! The old father knew that his elder son would murder him, and would tamper with whatever clue he would leave. Therefore he put his message inside the almond. The almond was the real clue because the elder brother was very fond of almond milk!"

"'Not bad!" Judge Dee remarked. "I had thought that-"

But the orchestra was starting up another deafening piece. Two men dressed in robes glittering with gold were now kneeling before judge Yü. Each waved in his hands a piece of paper, covered with small writing and with large red seals impressed on it. Judge Dee gathered from their recital that they were two noblemen. Their prince had left each of them half of a large estate, land, houses, slaves and valuables as specified on the papers they were presenting. Each claimed that the division was unjust, and that the other had received more than his proper share.

Judge Yü looked at them, showing the white of his eyes. He angrily shook his head, making the glittering ornaments on his cap dance in the garish light of the lampions. The music grew very soft; there was an atmosphere of tension that communicated itself to Judge Dee.

"Say your piece!" the fat man shouted impatiently.

"Shut up!" Judge Dee heard himself bark, much to his own amazement.

There was a loud clanging of gongs. Judge Yü rose. He grabbed the documents from the hands of the two plaintiffs, then handed to each the other's paper. He raised his hands signifying that the case had been decided. The two noblemen stared perplexedly at the documents in their hands.

A deafening applause rose from the audience. The fat man turned round in his seat. He began in a patronizing tone, "At least you got this, didn't you? You see, those two-"

His voice trailed off. He looked with open mouth at the judge. He had recognized him.

"I understood perfectly, thank you!" the judge said primly. He rose, shook the orange rinds from his lap and started to make his way through the crowd. Sergeant Hoong followed him, casting a last wistful look at the stage, where the actress who had led them to their seats was now appearing before the bench.

"This is the case of a young woman posing as a man, your honor," he said. "Quite a good story!"

"We really must go back now, Hoong." the judge said firmly.

While they were walking through the crowded street, Judge Dee suddenly said, "Things usually turn out to be quite different from what one expected, Hoong! I must tell you that when I was still a student, I had envisaged the work of a magistrate to be more or less like that of our old Judge Yü as we saw him just now in action on the stage. I thought I would be behind my bench, condescendingly listening to all kinds of long, confused stories, complicated lies and conflicting statements brought forward by the people before me. Then I would suddenly pounce on the weak point, and deliver judgment then and there, shattering the confused criminal! Well, Hoong, now I know better."

They laughed and continued their stroll back to the tribunal. Returned to the tribunal, judge Dee took the sergeant straight to his private office. He said, "Make me a cup of good strong tea, Hoong! And have one yourself too. Then you can lay out my ceremonial robes for the celebration in the White Cloud Temple. It's a nuisance we have to go there. I'd much prefer to stay here and review with you the position regarding our murder case. But it can't be helped!"

When the sergeant had brought the tea, the judge slowly took a few sips. Then he spoke.

"I must say, sergeant, that I now understand your interest in the theatre better. We must go there more often. At first all seems very confused, then the key sentence is spoken, and suddenly a11 becomes crystal clear. I wish it were the same with our murder case!" The judge pensively tugged at his mustache.