Faye Kellerman - Sanctuary

Rina stopped talking.

The one person she and Peter hadn’t had time to visit. “He’s with your other grandmother, isn’t he? That’s why she’s not here with you.”

Gil closed his eyes and flopped back on his pillow.

Rina patted his hands. “Don’t fret, Gil. You didn’t tell me. I guessed.”

An hour’s nap and Decker felt much better. He showered, shaved, then dressed, automatically reaching for a nonexistent shoulder harness. He was still brooding over his nakedness when his phone rang. He picked up the receiver.

“I need to talk to you. Please.”

A female voice-familiar.

“Where are you?” Decker played along.

“Downstairs,” she said. “I’d like to come up to your room. Make this as private as possible.”

The light bulb went off. Honey Klein. Decker said, “Fine.” He gave her his room number. A minute later, he answered a knock.

Had Decker not heard the voice, he wouldn’t have recognized the person. While in Decker’s home, Honey had dressed modestly in keeping with Orthodox tradition-a dress below her knees with long sleeves-and her hair had always been covered. But judging from the way she looked, Decker knew that something inside of her had snapped. Only the face was visible among the drapery of black that swathed her body. A gaunt face with sunken eyes ringed with dark shadows. She looked more like a nun in habit than any Orthodox Jewish woman Decker had known.

She looked around the hotel room, then zeroed in on Decker with tired eyes. “Where’s Rina?”

“She’s not here.”

Sitting down on the bed, Honey blew out air. “I read this morning about what you did at the yeshiva-a real mitzvah. I’m happy for Rina that she remarried such a tzaddik-such a righteous man.”

There was pain in her voice.

“The article said you two originally came here for vacation. I know you and Rina hadn’t planned on any vacation. Now I know you’re here because of your case. But with Rina? I was wondering if she came here to look for me.”

“She did indeed. She was very concerned about you and the children.”

“That’s Rina. A tzedeikess for a tzaddik. She’s a good woman. I could take lessons in middos from her.” Honey looked at Decker. “I can’t hide anymore, Akiva. Not that I couldn’t have done it physically…you wouldn’t have recognized me, right?”

“Not at all.”

“I can’t hide mentally. I can’t do that to my children. I’m here to bring resolution to the mess I created. What do you want to do with me?”

“The authorities want to ask you some questions, Honey.”

“Ask.”

“It would be better if we conducted the interview in America.”

Honey’s shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t supposed to work out like this.” Tears formed in her eyes. “All I wanted was a second chance. It wasn’t…”

Decker waited.

“Nothing can help me,” Honey whispered. “It was all my fault. The Rebbe told me to be patient with Gershon.” She looked at him. “I ran out of patience, Akiva. I simply…gave up. You should never, ever give up.”

“You stuck with Gershon a long time, Honey.”

She swiped at wet eyes with the back of her hands. “I know you won’t believe me, but I had nothing to do with his death.”

“I believe you,” Decker said. “But for your own protection, I suggest you don’t talk to me without a lawyer. Because I am a sworn officer of the law. And if you say something incriminating, I could use it against you.”

Honey nodded. “But I can talk to you if I want?”

Decker threw up his hands. “Please don’t. Wait until you’re back in New York.”

“But I want to explain it to you. I was trying to divorce Gershon-”

“Honey-”

“He refused to give me a get. I was stuck. It wasn’t supposed to work out like that. I didn’t…”

“I know,” Decker said. “You went to the Rebbe for help, didn’t you?”

Honey was quiet, her eyes far-away. “It’s too bad you and Rina didn’t know Gershon when I first married him. He was…wonderful! Handsome and kind…a wonderful father.”

She closed her eyes and opened them.

“The changes happened so subtly. I blinked…and the next thing I knew I was married to a stranger. Looking back, I wonder if it wasn’t something organic-a tumor or a mental breakdown. Because a person doesn’t change just like that.”

She adjusted the black scarf that covered every inch of her hair.

“It was so subtle. First it was the davening all day. Then it was him becoming a Nazir. It was only when he started in on the children that I knew it was hopeless. Preaching to them. He’d sit them down and preach to them for hours, screaming at them if they moved a muscle or squirmed or blinked.”

She licked her lips.

“He’d make them wear sackcloth when he sermonized. Then, when he started making them fast once a week, I knew I had…do you know what kind of mental damage he did? Baruch Hashem, the Rebbe was there to neutralize him.”

“Why didn’t you just leave him, Honey?”

“He swore he’d see me dead before he’d give me a get. The Rebbe tried to get a dispensation…you can divorce a crazy person. Unfortunately, Gershon was rational in his fanaticism. If you talked to him, he could answer you back. He was coherent…but he wasn’t.”

“Did the Rebbe talk to him?”

“Of course!” Honey said. “Everyone could see what was happening to him. They all did what they could to try to make Gershon see reason.”

“But he wouldn’t listen to reason. His yaitzer harah had invaded his yaitzer tov.”

Honey broke into tears and nodded.

Decker said, “No one meant any harm, only to get Gershon’s yaitzer tov back.”

“So you do understand.”

“Of course.” Decker spoke very softly. “The Rebbe had no choice. He did what he had to do. What he was allowed to do halachically, what he was permitted by Jewish law.”

Honey’s head shot up. “What? What are you suggesting?”

Her voice had turned cold. She wasn’t about to incriminate her beloved leader.

“Honey,” Decker said. “You may not verbalize what happened. But I know what happened. I know it was probably an accident. But that doesn’t mean it’s not murder. Keeping quiet to protect individuals isn’t going to help anyone.”

Honey hesitated, then said, “Let me put it this way. I know that some…people in my town were going to talk to Gershon, try to convince him to give me a get.”

There was a long stretch of silence.

“That’s why I came out to Los Angeles. So people could talk to Gershon alone.”

“And that’s why you’re here using a false passport?”

“Akiva, I knew that if it didn’t work, Gershon would be furious. I didn’t care for me. But I feared for the kids. I knew I would have to go far away. That’s why I bothered with forged passports.”

Decker sat beside her. “Honey, listen to me. Because what I’m saying is from the heart. I’m sorry for all your tragedy. Because this really is a tragedy. But I think the best way to deal with it is to face it head-on. You get yourself a lawyer, get great legal representation for the Rebbe-”

“He had nothing to do with this!” Honey snapped.

“Okay, okay,” Decker backed off. “Okay, we’ll just stick to you. You get yourself a lawyer and you work out your case with him. Where are the kids?”

“Safe.”

“Here?”

“Yes. With people who love them and can care for them. I don’t have to bring them back to America with me, do I?”

“You want to leave them here…alone?”

“They’re not alone here, Akiva.” Honey blinked and regarded Decker’s face. “They are with three million brothers and sisters. That’s an awfully big family.”