Joan Hess - Maggody In Manhattan

A blond woman was speaking to a teenaged girl. The woman looked earnest, the girl exceedingly bored. I pegged them as the "sour pickle" and her mother and went over to introduce myself and mumble an excuse for my presence.

"Isn't this incredible?" Frannie said. "Your poor mother treated so harshly, and Durmond with a bullet wound! I realize this is Manhattan and people are gunned down every day, but I thought that we'd be staying in a decent hotel with-"

"Mother, it's nine o'clock," Catherine said sullenly.

"Don't interrupt, dear." She gave me an apologetic look. "Catherine has an appointment to get her makeup done for the press reception this afternoon. Geri's hoping there will be some television coverage and reporters from some of the major food magazines. I'd like to think there will be an adequate showing to justify our expenses."

I nodded obediently, if not enthusiastically.

Frannie took Catherine's arm. "I do wish there were a doorman to get us a cab. I feel so vulnerable standing on a curb with my hand in the air, and I always worry that some homicidal maniac will run us over without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror. Come along, Catherine. We'll have to make the best of it."

"I don't want to have my makeup done."

"Don't whine, dear. You must look your best for the media. We're not here for our health, are we?"

She tightened her grip and propelled the girl out the door. I was amused to see a doorman on the sidewalk and waited to see if it might prove to be Kyle in his threatened rental uniform. When he turned to respond to Frannie, I realized it was the Italian retiree who'd come into the lobby the previous afternoon. Mr. Cambria, the manager had called him.

It was so curious that I sank down on the arm of the sofa and replayed the conversation. Rick had been deferential, nearly obsequious, when Cambria arrived. Had he plied him with expensive scotch, settled him in the penthouse, changed the linens-and asked him to be a hotel doorman?

A man in a blue suit came into the lobby from a hallway. We blinked at each other until I determined he was a plumber rather than a policeman. He stuffed a considerable wad of money into his pocket and continued out the door, spoke to Cambria, and then hurried up the sidewalk toward, I supposed, the next aquatic crisis.

I was still puzzling over the identity of the doorman when Geri swept into the lobby with a briefcase, a clipboard, and an unhappy expression. "Good morning," she said to me as she went to the desk and banged the bell. "This whole thing's just impossible. How can I be expected to put together a decent press conference when the food editors won't even take my calls? I'd have more luck with the tabloids; it's right up their sleazy alley. That vile KoKo-Nut is apt to cause hair to grow on your palms, and there are extraterrestrial overtones."

"At least you have a doorman," I said.

She banged on the bell three more times in rapid succession, then frowned at the indentations on her palm. "At least I have a doorman. I made it clear to Rick that I'd arrange it if he didn't. Now, if I only had a hotel manager, and a fifth contestant, and photographers and judges and time to check the kitchen and…" She sniffled, but withstood tears. "Where is Rick? This is so maddening!"

Horns began to caterwaul outside. As we both watched, two men hopped out of a truck and began to unload cardboard cartons. Cambria observed them from his post, his hands behind his back and his head bobbling in approval. He held open the door as the four cartons were brought in on a dolly and came in after them.

"Ah, good," Rick said from behind the desk.

Geri spun around. "Where have you-"

"Busy. Guys, take those up to 319 and stick them just inside the door. It's unlocked."

"Wait just a minute," Geri said, clearly ruffled by his interruption. "Those are the cases of KoKo-Nut for my contest, and they're not going upstairs. They're going straight to the kitchen, and right now! I have more than enough problems without losing track of the key product." She paused and shook her head. "Although why there's so much of it is beyond me. I put in a request for one, which was one too many to begin with. We have enough to contaminate the water supply for the entire city."

Rick rubbed his temples. "No, Miss Gebhearn, the kitchen isn't cleaned yet, and the cartons will be in the way of the crew. They can be safely stashed upstairs until it's time to bring them down."

"They are going to the kitchen. There's ample room along the wall." Barely stopping short of stamping her foot, she pointed imperiously at the deliverymen. "Take them down that hall and put them in the kitchen."

"They need to go upstairs," Rick insisted.

Geri slammed the clipboard down on the counter and turned on him with all the fury of a prep school princess. "I've had it with you, buster! I am in charge of this travesty, but there's damn little to keep me from taking the next train to the Cape. You can call the CEO of whatever the investment company is and tell him how you screwed up this promotion and you refused to cooperate and you failed to provide security until this morning so that you ended up with the police. While you do that, I'll be changing into sweats and pouring myself a Tab!"

Rick looked as if he might come across the desktop to throttle her, but Cambria intervened, saying, "Rickie, my boy, this is not the time to make waves. I believe you ought to allow the little lady to do as she wishes, and without interference. There's no reason why the cartons cannot be stored in the kitchen."

The deliverymen waited, as did I, for the next round.

It wasn't Broadway quality, but it had potential. Geri had her fists on her hips, her jaw squared like a pugnacious boxer, and her mouth was stretched to expose glistening white teeth. Rick looked from Cambria to her, slowly uncurled his fists, and said, "Take the cartons to the kitchen, guys."

Geri was too well-bred to gloat, but I could see it took effort on her part. "Fine. I'll need the key to the kitchen door."

"Why should you need the key?" said Rick. "That's out of the question. I need to have it handy for when the cleaning crew shows up. I don't have time to call your fancy office and wait until you come back here to open up for us."

"I've decided that we don't need a cleaning crew," she said with a shrug. "It's a bit dusty in there, but I'll have Kyle wipe down the surfaces and run a mop. In the meantime, I want those cartons kept stored in a secure place, and I have no doubt that the minute I step out the door, you'll have them moved to God knows where."

The KoKo-Nut wars did not escalate, to my disappointment. Rick snarled under his breath, but went into the office and returned with a key with a cardboard tag. Geri took it, beckoned to the deliverymen, and led them down the hallway. Cambria returned outside to guard the gate.

And I remained on my perch, remembering what life in New York had been like. Daily confrontations had been the norm. No one bothered to remark on hostile exchanges with cab drivers, vendors, pedestrians, skaters, clerks. In Maggody, a single cross word was repeated, analyzed, debated as to its merit. I could easily imagine Mrs. Jim Bob saying, "Well, Eula had no call to say that Millicent's daughter looked like a tart, even though she does. Of course, Millicent did tell Lottie that Eula's meringue was sticky, and…"

"That's settled," Geri said as she returned to the lobby and retrieved her clipboard to make a flamboyant checkmark. She waited until the deliverymen trudged out the door. "I wish I had my mother's zeal for this sort of publicity thing, but I don't. I'd much prefer to handle nice, quiet little accounts for detergents and pet food."

"You said last night that this was dumped on you at the last minute," I said, aware that sympathy had been tacitly requested.