Lori Avocato - Deep Sea Dead

“What the hell are you doing here, Jagger?” I opened my eyes in hopes that he’d be gone and it was all a mirage.

Then again, a mirage of Jagger would be the stuff fantasies were made of, not nightmares.

I could use a fantasy, now that Hunter was gone. I peeked out.

Jagger stood there in a white tux! Oh…my…God.

Before I opened my eyes fully, I said, “You’re masquerading as a male host.” It wasn’t a question-more like a shocked statement.

“Let’s not get into that.”

I opened my eyes all the way. A male host! What a hoot! A few passengers were starting to stare at us where we stood in the middle of the dance floor. One young “kitten” wiggled up to Jagger and purred.

“Mr. Smith, you are naughty. You promised me the next dance.” She eyed me up and down. “Who’s she?”

Jagger grinned.

I wanted to smack kitty lady with a bag of catnip but instead said, “I’m only a crewmember, dear. You go ahead and dance with him. He’s all yours.” With that I hurried away to down my much-needed beer as I heard Jagger sputter something. Only thing I could make out was dance, work and something that sounded like gritty. I was going with “You look pretty.”

I took the last sip of my beer and tried to catch Edie’s attention to order another. I needed it. Damn. Jagger was like the clichéd bad penny. Hmm. Bad was right. I smiled to myself and turned toward the dance floor. It was so crowded I couldn’t see him and kitty lady. Make that kitty girl. She had to be only twentysomething.

Damn. Made me feel old.

“What’re you having, Sherlock?”

I swung around to see “Mr. Smith” standing there looking appetizing in his outfit. He didn’t camouflage his face this time-thank goodness-as he’d done before on some cases. In the process, though, my arm caught on the dolphin’s tail, and I stumbled forward-into his arms.

“Whoa. Whatever you’re having, maybe you’ve had enough?” He pulled up a dolphin and sat next to me.

I straightened myself and held my head up with as much dignity as I had left. “I’ve only had one beer. You startled me. That’s all.” I had to keep talking louder and louder as the music increased in volume.

Jagger leaned near. I thought he was going to kiss me!

Stop it, Pauline. It is only because of the music.

“In your profession, Pauline, you have to get over someone sneaking up on you and not…fall off your fish.”

I think he chuckled, which should have lightened the mood, but damn if he hadn’t gotten so close that his hot breath tickled my ear. I had to take a few seconds to compose myself and think clearly. “It’s just…Don’t do that to me-that sneaking up thing-and I’ll work on it.” I couldn’t say no one else would have caused that reaction.

Edie sidled over, a smile on her face. “Hey, good looking, what’ll it be?”

“Another beer on tap, please,” I said.

She looked at me. “I was talking to him, honey, but you got it.” She smiled at Jagger while I tried to slink under my dolphin.

Jagger, obviously playing the gentleman host to a tee, said, “Scotch, neat, sweetie.”

Made Edie’s day with that one.

She went to get our drinks. “So, why are you really here? Did Fabio send you to-”

His Jagger-look said everything.

“Okay. Okay. No one tells you what to do. But really, why are you here?” I felt my eyes widen. “Oh, no! Don’t tell me you have a case involved here too, and it’s going to take precedence over mine, and you’re going to need me to help! I’m not going to fall for that again. Don’t even think-”

“I’m here for you, Sherlock. Strictly for you.”

I told myself I should be insulted that Jagger came onboard to “save” my job and possibly me. I told myself I should politely thank him because surely I could use his help. Then I told myself I might not have been able to solve this medical-fraud case, since it now involved a missing Remy. In truth, I sure was thankful for Host Jay showing up.

“Gee, thanks.” I took a sip of my beer as soon as Edie set it down.

“You two met before?” she asked.

We looked at each other. I had to let him take this one since I couldn’t think fast enough to know if it mattered or not. I sure didn’t want anyone suspecting us of being investigators.

Jagger sipped his Scotch, winked at Edie and said, “Nope. Pauline here just seems to be one of those women that you feel as if you’ve known all your life.”

I sat there speechless.

But I also tucked that info into my brain and thought I had just learned more about how to lie with a straight face. Jagger was so damn good at that.

Jagger made polite conversation with Edie for a few minutes, and then, after we’d finished our drinks, made an excuse for us to leave-well, a reason for him to walk me back to my cabin.

He took me into an elevator I wasn’t familiar with, and before I knew it, we were on the highest deck, looking out at the dark sea. With the lights from the Golden Dolphin casting golden shadows on the calm water and the moon’s glow assisting, it looked like a Disneyland ride. One that Cinderella would have loved.

Soon little dolphin heads popped out of the top of the tank. Obviously the same guys who entertained the passengers down in the Bottlenose Lounge stared at us. I think the smaller of the three smiled at me.

“So, what have you found out so far?” he asked, ever so businesslike.

“Hmm?” I turned away from the dolphin tank. “Oh, yes, it is a nice night and fabulous view,” I said, and then smiled.

Jagger looked as if he was in a hurry.

“What?” I said. “You have to get back and dance with some kit…with the ladies?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. So, make it snappy.” He leaned against the railing, looking dangerous and in need of a Marlboro, even though he didn’t smoke.

Not that I condoned smoking, but damn, he could do an ad any day of the week and apparently any time of the day. “Okay, here’s what I have found out so far,” I said, telling him about Jackie, Betty and missing Remy.

No reaction.

“Well? What do you think? Do you think his disappearance is related to my fraud case?”

He merely looked at me.

The look had me stop and think. Jagger was trying to teach me more about our profession-and damn it, but he could do it all with those dark eyes.

“Hmm. Okay, Remy went to school with my roommate Jackie, but that really doesn’t tell us much unless…unless there was also something going on between them. But she’s dating the crew’s purser now. Betty said as much. Still, she and Remy could be in on…Wait.” I looked Jagger in the eyes.

“We don’t have enough to go on,” I continued. “We have to find out Jackie and Remy’s relationship, finances and if they were working together. I mean, how close could they have been if she’s already dating Claude? Either Remy “disappeared” by choice with the dough or someone else is involved, maybe got greedy and conveniently did away with Remy Girard.”

Nothing could compare to a Jagger smile that said, “Good job, Sherlock.”

Since Jagger knew me so well, he said we should head back to my cabin, since it was late. Somewhere around eleven. Damn. He did know me way too well.

I was impressed with his sense of direction as he found my cabin without any wrong turns or having to ask for help. Maybe he’d been on this ship before. Nothing would surprise me. At least he had to have been around since it sailed, and maybe he scouted out the entire thing before running into me tonight. Again, sounded like something Jagger would do.

I looked at him. “When were you going to ‘reveal’ yourself to me?”

He chuckled, leaned over and opened the door.