Alice Kimberley - The Ghost and the Femme Fatale

"Mrs. McClure just wants to keep the crowd happy," Barry Yello loudly spoke up. "You don't have to bust her chops over it, Kline."

"Excuse me, Mr. Yello," said Maggie. "Did anyone ask you to speak?"

Barry folded his thick arms and narrowed his eyes. "As a matter of fact, Mrs. McClure here asked me to do exactly that before she asked you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do the math," said Barry.

"Oh, I see," Maggie replied. "You're saying that I'm sloppy seconds?"

"Oh, no," I cried, "that's not true at all. Please, please don't argue."

"Whatever," said Barry with a wave of his hand. Maggie put her hands on her hips. "Clearly, Yello here thinks he's hot stuff.Well, go ahead, Bad Barry… " Maggie tapped her

wristwatch. "It's almost noon now, and you obviously don't have anything better to do."

Barry looked away. "Actually, I do. I'm sorry, Mrs. McClure. I wanted to catch Dr. Lilly's speech, but now I can't, obviously… so I'll be going…"

"If you must," I said. Although my remark was meant rhetorically, Barry went on as if Maggie and I were hanging on every moment of his afternoon schedule.

"Oh, yes, I must," he replied. "There's the showing of Double Indemnity. They're only showing it once this weekend, and I don't want to miss it. Then I've got to get back to my room at the Comfy Time Motel to launch the discussion of the film on my Web site. Then I have to review my questions for Hedda Geist's appearance on the Movie Town stage. So you see, I do have better things to do."

"Fine!" Maggie Kline said. "Then zip it already and go!"

The rivalry between these two was more than obvious, but I couldn't imagine what was behind their animosity. Barry claimed they'd never met before. Was his claim a lie? And if it was, why would he bother lying about it?

"All right, Mrs. McClure," Maggie said after Barry left. "I'll step in for you…for Dr.Lilly, I mean. I guess it's the least I can do, considering you bothered to stock my books."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Really, it's no big deal. I just had to get used to the idea. The shock of hearing about that poor woman and all… so where do I go for this public appearance?" She glanced around. "This is the first time I've been in your store, so you'll have to show me the way."

"Of course." I led Maggie through the archway and into the Community Events room. "If you don't mind my asking," I said as we walked, "what's the beef between you and Barry? He said he'd never met you before, but you two were talking as if you did know each other."

"Oh, we know each other-over the Web. We've just never met in person. Yello's taken shots at everything I've written- TV, movies, books. I've fired back with my own review of his ridiculous Bad Barry book. He's an absolute jerk, in case you haven't noticed."

I didn't know what to say to that. So I just quickened my steps to the front of the room and introduced my aunt to Maggie.

While they were talking, I thought about what Maggie had just said. Barry Yello struck me more as young and awkward than an "absolute jerk." In her own way, Maggie herself was rather a difficult personality. On the other hand, she could have a legitimate grievance. I'd never read Barry's reviews of her novels and teleplays. They could have been unduly vicious and personal. The World Wide Web didn't always bring out the best in people.

You got it wrong, doll, Jack quipped in my head. There's plenty of people who never had any "best" inside them to be brought out in the first place.

Jack's voice got me to thinking again about our case. "Barry was on that stage, too, last night. He used the microphone before Dr. Lilly."

You're right, baby. And I know what you're thinking. There might be a whole lotta people like Maggie out there, who aren't too keen on seeing Barry write another World Wide word.

"Hey, Pen!" Seymour Tarnish called, coming in to help with the event. "I need to talk to you." Pulling me aside, he told me that there was some sort of problem out front.

"Great, that's all I need." I followed him to find three people in formal clothing standing near our entrance: two men in suits and ties, and a tall blonde woman in pressed black slacks and a blue blazer.

"They're press," Seymour whispered.

"What?"

I talked with the small group and discovered that earlier in the week, Dr. Lilly had invited them personally to attend her lecture today.

"So what's going on?" said one of the men from a Newport newspaper. "This gentleman"-he pointed to Seymour -"told us that Dr. Lilly isn't speaking today, or any day. What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yes," said the tall blonde. "We're here to cover the publication of her book. Aren't you hosting a signing with her?"

I glanced at Seymour. He shrugged.

"I'm so sorry…" I explained that Dr. Lilly had had an accident, but that I couldn't release much more information than that until the authorities contacted her family. "Would you care to stay for our stand-in author? She's had quite an accomplished career as a novelist and screenwriter."

The press people glanced at each other, shook their heads, and turned to go. "Sorry, not interested."

I glanced at Seymour again as we watched them leave. "How odd," I said. "Is that a news van out there?"

Seymour nodded. "Yep, I can see the TV satellite antennae."

"Maybe I misjudged how well Dr. Lilly is known," I murmured.

"What do you mean?" Seymour asked.

"I mean, her backlist is respectable, but it's never sold any better than any other film historian's work. She's an academic not a media personality. This is the first I've ever heard of a wonky film studies book getting press attention."

"Mrs. McClure!" Mina called from the check-out counter. "I'm having that scanning issue again!"

"Sorry, Seymour, it's back to work for me-and for you, too." I jerked my thumb toward the Events room. "Get yourself in there and make sure the audience behaves."

Seymour saluted. "Aye, aye, captain! Your crowd control expert's in the house!"

ABOUT NINETY MINUTES later, the clapping in the Events room signaled the end of the program. Then the author signing began, and Seymour marshaled the crowd in his own inimitable fashion.

"Come on, people, make a line! Don't you remember your kindergarten fire drills? Nice and straight please, so you can buy one of Ms. Kline's pretty books and have her sign it for you!"

I helped with the purchases, and before long the crowd of nearly one hundred people dwindled to less than ten. That's when Mina called me over to the check-out counter again. Only this time it wasn't a scanning issue.

"Mrs. McClure! Phone!"

I left Sadie with the remaining people and went to pick up the call. "Hello?" I said. "Buy the Book. Penelope Thornton-McClure speaking."

"I know!" replied a woman on the other end of the line. It was the slightly scratchy soprano voice of Fiona Finch, co-owner of Finch Inn. "Pen, I need to speak with you urgently because I'm worried about interrupting her appearance. And I don't how she'll react to this news. I hope you can break it to her easy."

"Whoa, slow down, Fiona. What news? And who's 'she'?"

"Dr. Lilly," said Fiona.

I tensed. "What's wrong?"

"Someone's broken into her suite and robbed her!"

I took a breath. "Fiona, are you sitting down?"

"No. Why should I?" she asked. "I was the one calling you with the shocking news. Isn't Dr. Lilly at your store, giving a speech right now?"

"Fiona, sit down."

"Okay, okay, I'm sitting!"