Donald Thomas - Sherlock Holmes and the King’s Evil

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While not up to the high standard of Sherlock Holmes and the Voice from the Crypt (2002), Thomas's fourth pastiche collection conveys the tone and spirit of Conan Doyle's original tales with nary a false note. In the clever The Case of the Tell-Tale Hands, an aristocrat hires Holmes to look into his cousin's eccentric behavior, which includes wearing gloves at odd times. A school teacher who fears her brothers, both lighthouse keepers, have met with foul play retains Dr. Watson as the investigator in the richly atmospheric title story. Less successful are two tales rooted in history: The Case of Peter the Painter, in which Holmes battles anarchists in London alongside Winston Churchill in 1911, and The Case of the Zimmermann Telegram, in which the sleuth serves as director of Admiralty Signals Intelligence during WWI. This volume reinforces Thomas's place in the front rank of Doyle imitators.

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“To acquire so clear a pattern, the back of the paper must have been supported for some considerable time on a wire screen, held in place by clips or pegs. In addition, the gentle application of a vacuum tube would suck it back against the mesh, for as long was as necessary. Soft paper, such as this, was always made of rags and takes the impression of metal very easily.”

“But that would not alter the apparent age of the paper, surely.”

“Certainly not. What it would alter is the apparent age of the ink.”

“By the use of a vacuum?”

“Cast your mind back to the formula on the ironmonger’s receipt,” said Holmes patiently. It is a prescription for the manufacture of a small amount of iron-gall ink, used by Jeffrey Aspern, Lord Byron and their contemporaries in the 1820s. It was long ago superseded. Therefore, ask yourself why anyone should want iron-gall ink in November 1888.”

“You did not need to send a wire to a vacuum cleaner manufacture in London to learn about black iron-gall ink!”

He looked surprised.

“My dear fellow, of course not. A pair of bellows may produce a vacuum without the assistance of a cleaning device, though with more effort. The wire was merely sent to inquire whether these benefactors of man and womankind had recently supplied one of their excellent machines to Mr Howell of 94 Southampton Row, London West Central.”

“And the answer?”

“They had not.”

“Then you were wrong!”

“Not entirely. They had supplied a machine to that address. However, the customer gave his-or her-name as Mr Aspern.”

He snapped his fingers for the waiter and ordered more coffee.

“Black iron-gall ink sinks very slowly into such paper as this. As it does so, it goes rusty by reason of oxidation. If it remains black then it cannot be of any great antiquity.”

“As any schoolboy might deduce.”

“One moment, if you please! The purpose of a vacuum applied to the back of soft rag paper, long and gently while the ink is still damp, is to draw the fluid more deeply and quickly into the paper, to accelerate the ageing process. All things considered, I believe we may conclude that Byron never intended Don Juan to follow in the footsteps of Thomas Jefferson. However, I think we have followed those of the Bordereau sisters and their forger very closely indeed.”

6

On the following morning Holmes received a note, or rather a press cutting, from Lestrade. Without comment, our Scotland Yard man had forwarded a paragraph cut from the previous Thursday’s edition of the Winning Post and Sportsman’s Weekly, published for racing men by Robert Standish Siever in Pall Mall.

We are informed that the smartest mover in the village, ‘Gussie’ Howell of Southampton Row, has gone to his reward. His mortal remains were interred on Wednesday at Brompton Cemetery, attended by his creditors and the belles of Piccadilly in garters of the friskiest black silk. His elegy by the bard ‘ACS’ is currently circulating among the cognoscenti and reads as follows.

The foulest soul that lives stinks here no more,

The stench of hell is fouler than before.

A toast to his memory will be drunk by the swell mob of Romano’s in the St Leger Bar on Friday at 6pm.

“Truly dead this time,” I said.

“A pity,” said Holmes coldly, “I might have obliged him to be useful to us. After that he could have died as often and as soon as he liked.”

It was an hour or so later that we came across a final batch of papers. The letters bore dates between 1845 and 1855. There were also a number of poems, written in manuscript on octavo sheets of paper. I picked up one of these, covered in a neat and purposeful hand, devoid of the loops and curlicues of Lord Byron. It was a speech-or rather a dramatic monologue. I soon gathered that it was supposed to be spoken by the fanatic reformer Savonarola, his adieu to the council of Florence which had condemned him to be burnt.

Savonarola to the Signoria

24 May 1498

I drink the cup, returning thanks.

(The rack that turns one cripple in an hour

Draws a man’s throat to nothing with the pain.)

So let them hear me first and last,

The Florentines that keep death’s holiday…

“Robert Browning!” I said excitedly, “It can only be he. I am no expert but I would recognise the style anywhere as being his! This is surely the poem, or one of them, that was discarded from Men and Women before publication of the book in 1855.

“You are of course quite right, friend Watson,” he said rather languidly.

“I am right that we have found Browning’s lost poem?”

“No! That you are no expert.”

I was considerably put out by this and continued to read a few lines of the condemned man’s speech, which made me all the more hopeful.

Ah, sirs, if God might show some sign,

The very least, to be God’s own,

The certainty of bliss with hell beneath,

What man stands here who’d not endure my flame?

Or buy my place in pain with all he hath?

But God being not, not in that sense, I say,

Let this unworthy flesh His proxy stand…

“The tone and the style…”

“Confound the tone and the style! Any mountebank could work those up.”

Holmes was now scrutinising the neat and level lines of verse through his glass.

“Very well,” I insisted, “What of the penmanship?”

“Plausible,” he said grudgingly. “This is the work of an expert who has studied and practised the author’s writing until he can produce it flowingly. It has been written with speed to make it convincing. See how the pen has just joined the last letter of one word with the first of the next. See here, the slight connecting stroke of ‘throat’ and ‘to,’ then here again with ‘of’ and ‘bliss’. Such tricks indicate skilled counterfeiting, where the pen seems to be in motion almost before it touches the paper.”

“Precisely as it would do in a genuine document.”

“It is a forgery. You may depend upon that.”

“What of the ink?”

“It would not be iron-gall, of course, this is merely blue-black made with indigo and that alters far less.”

“Then ink and penmanship appear to stand examination?”

“One moment.”

He began to check through a bundle of these octavo manuscripts and then set several of them aside. The pages were of a size usual in correspondence. They were far less yellowed than the Byron samples.

I noticed several rough drafts of letters, the hand identical to Savonarola but with crossing out and insertion. I saw a first draft of a letter from Robert Browning to Elizabeth Barrett. It came from their courtship in 1846, while she lay a prisoner and an invalid in her father’s house. I cannot betray the secrets of that correspondence, when letters passed between them every day. I will just say that it was full of reverence for his “Dearest Ba,” as she signed herself in replies that called down heaven’s blessings upon him.

It was monstrous to think that such intimate memorials of their devotion were destined to pass under the auctioneer’s hammer, merely to gratify the greed and curiosity of the public. Who knows what had already been hoarded in sale-rooms across the world in anticipation of this? Holmes turned to me.

“I think we must have young Mr Browning here. I shall have him sent for.”

He went to inform our guardian, Angelo Fiori’s cousin, and gave instructions for Pen Browning’s immediate attendance. While we were waiting for him, Holmes took from beside him a neat black attaché case, no more than eighteen inches by ten. He unclipped it and took out the polished steel components of Monsieur Nachet’s Combined Simple and Compound Microscope. This was the most powerful instrument of its kind. Yet it could be dismantled or assembled in a few seconds thanks to a milled head on its tubular stem, by which the body of the microscope might later be detached and the dismembered instrument packed away neatly in its case.

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