Leslie Langtry - I Shot You Babe

“Hey, cuz,” I said. “What brings you to the farthest reaches of the planet? In the neighborhood and thought you’d say hi?”

She threw her arms around me with affection and I squeezed back. Truth be told, I wasn’t all that startled. The family had a way of popping up where you least expected them.

“Business,” she said. Missi was a bit older than me, with two teenage sons. She was cute with her short, messy hair and eyes that never missed a thing. She was the Bombay family’s inventor of weapons-something that had saved my ass on more than one occasion.

“Business, eh? So are you the one who slipped me the envelope?”

She shook her head distractedly. “No. Monty and Jack did it.” She craned her neck to the left. “You haven’t seen them, have you?”

Wow. There were a whole mess of white people in this little hamlet. That would be hard to explain to the locals.

“No.”

“What’s up with the panties?” she asked, turning her attention back to me.

“Uniform. They are supposed to make movement less restricted.”

“I see.” And actually, I think she did.

“Why are you here, Missi?” The question did beg to be answered.

She smiled at me and I laughed. Missi had this kooky sort of presence that made her incredibly lovable…like a deranged Muppet. Underestimating her, however, could be deadly. She once created a bicycle helmet fitted with a pneumatic bolt gun that pierced the brain of its victim, killing him on the first leg of the Tour de France. She managed to switch out helmets while acting like a concerned Good Samaritan. They never did figure that one out.

“Mom wanted you to have this.” Missi handed me a cell phone.

“I have a cell phone.”

She shook her head. “Not like this one. I guess you probably noticed that your cell doesn’t work here.”

I nodded. And it hadn’t bothered me.

“This phone uses Russian and Chinese satellites.” Missi popped open the phone to show me an expanding screen inside, complete with QWERTY keyboard. “You can communicate with us in real time via video. That way the council can keep track of you.” She winked, indicating that she knew I wouldn’t like that.

“I’m not happy about this job,” I said. “Vic is too close. He’s getting to know my friends here. I don’t like that. And the last thing I need is the council breathing down my neck.”

Missi nodded. “Seems we’ve been getting more of these types of assignments lately. I blame the Internet. There’s no anonymity anymore. Just one huge global community center.”

“That doesn’t help me.” I scanned the crowd and noticed several people looking our way. “People are starting to notice you. You’d better head out.”

Missi glanced around. “Well, we’re off. I promised the kids we’d hit Tokyo on the way home for some tech stuff.” She walked a few steps away, then turned back. “Oh, and could you get me some good cashmere yarn? Or maybe a felted bag? Thanks!” And with that, she was gone.

Most people might be a little unsettled by such a visit. But most people weren’t Bombays. The question was, how had she found me? There was a rumor that ran through our generation that Missi had somehow implanted us all with either tracking or explosive material. After this little family visit, I was beginning to believe in the former.

I looked at the phone in my hand. My next fight would start in a few minutes and I was wearing nothing but panties, boots and sleeves. Where in the hell was I going to put it?

“Cy!” Sansar-Huu called, indicating that it was my turn to wrestle. Great. I shoved the phone in my boots, hoping it was sturdy enough to survive the fight. Kicking wasn’t really part of the game.

I had to push my conversation with Missi (and wondering how she and the boys got in and out of there unnoticed) out of my thoughts or I wouldn’t win this fight. As I did the eagle dance and slapped my thighs, I’d rekindled my anger toward Dekker. My opponent, a rather large man with maybe fifty pounds on me, grabbed my shoulders.

He didn’t stand a chance as I threw him onto his knee, winning the match. Good thing I wasn’t really angry or he might not have survived. As I stalked off mid cheers from my friends, my anger dissipated a bit.

“Who was that?” Ronnie asked as I slipped my deel back on. I’d have another match soon, but it was starting to get chilly and I was covered in sweat.

“The loser,” I said shortly.

“No, the blonde.” She looked upset. It took me a second to realize what she was talking about.

“Oh, that.” What was I supposed to tell her? That my cousin from South America dropped by for a quick visit and to drop off a cell phone you could bounce off Chinese satellites?

“Yeah, that.” Veronica folded her arms and I almost laughed.

“Another grad student working on a thesis,” I lied.

Her face contorted for a moment as she wrestled with this information. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy that.

“Who is she?” Ronnie tried again. I would’ve been surprised if she hadn’t.

“Some woman.” That was technically true. The fact that I knew her wasn’t necessarily important.

“One of your ‘groupies’?” I could swear I actually saw the words in frost hovering in the air.

“Yeah. I have blonde, wealthy, bored-housewife followers here.”

“Are you sleeping with her?”

Wow. This chick didn’t give up. I couldn’t remember ever having someone jealous or possessive over me.

“I can honestly say I’ve never had sex with that woman.” True.

“I-” she began.

“Veronica.” My tone turned to ice. “I’ve had enough. Drop it.” I stalked past her before I would have to throw her to the ground. Besides, she’d now empowered me with enough anger to win the whole damned competition. I wanted to keep it that way.

“Keep her,” I said to Chudruk, “away from me.” I pointed at Ronnie. My wingman nodded solemnly. Women could be a huge distraction in sports. I didn’t wait to see how he would do this as I headed for Zerleg and Zolbin. My new cell phone rubbed uncomfortably against my shin. I’d had enough of women for the day.

My next two matches lasted mere seconds as I bartered my fury for victory. It was my third fight that didn’t work out. I tripped over my own feet and fell to the ground. Exhaustion, mental and physical, was getting the best of me. I shrugged on my deel and climbed into the truck and passed out without talking to anyone.

A jolt brought me bolt upright and I found that the truck was moving.

“You’re awake.” Sansar-Huu laughed.

I looked around. The two of us were the only ones in the cab. Dark shapes murmured quietly from the back.

“Where’s Ronnie?” I panicked a little, worried that she might have opted out of coming back with us. But where would she go? My nerves tightened as I thought she might have gone off with Dekker. That man was a killer.

“In the back,” Sansar-Huu said. “She was mad at you and decided to sit there.”

I leaned against the headrest in relief. I’d been hard on her. If she went with my vic, all kinds of terrible things might have happened. Even worse, she might have slept with him.

That stopped me. Why did I care about that? I’d just spent the trip down here informing Ms. Gale that I was no virgin. I didn’t really think she was. But the thought of someone else having her was like a cheese grater running over my stomach.

I didn’t say much the whole trip. It was probably my mood that kept the driver quiet too.

I was in my ger, stripping off my deel as Veronica walked in and threw her notepad on her cot.

Turning toward her as I took off my sleeves and boots, I asked, “Well?”

Ronnie looked me up and down and actually gulped. I was wearing only the “panties,” as Missi called them. I was in great shape and I knew it.