J Stanley - The Battered Body

Santa and the elves sang “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” paying no mind to pitch, tempo, or any other musical element that might produce a harmonious sound. In fact, each time the group hit a high note, the mayor’s dogs began to howl, which the bystanders found incredibly funny.

“What’s the big prize this year?” Lindy asked.

James laughed as the elves began to shower the crowd with red, green, and silver Hershey’s kisses.

“The kid’s prize is a new mountain bike, complete with helmet and knee pads,” Lucy answered. “And boy, would I love to win the adult prize. It’s a thousand-dollar Christmas shopping spree. Vendors from all over the county donated gift certificates good in their stores for the next two weeks only. How much fun would it be to spend all that much money at once?” She rubbed her hands together excitedly.

“But you’re a county employee, just like the rest of us.” Bennett gave Lucy a perplexed look. “We’re excluded from winning the shoppin’ spree, so why get all worked up?”

“A girl can dream, can’t she?” Lucy demanded crossly. “Anyway, if Gillian gets out to the street in time, she might catch the Hershey’s Kiss with the winning message on its tag.” She glanced through Gillian’s living room window. “How long can it take to make a pot of tea anyway?”

“That crazy redhead’s probably whispering some Buddhist chant as the water boils,” Bennett said with a snort.

The hillbilly bus slugged past Gillian’s house. Its exhaust issued a series of loud reports that caused the youngest children to scream in mock fear and the mayor’s bloodhounds to increase their frenzied keening. Amid the raucousness, Willow made her way back onto the porch. Her pale face was illuminated by Gillian’s lights and her white-blonde hair was nearly obscured by snow. She seemed immune to the cold, and James thought that she looked quite pretty with her cheeks tinged pink by the chilly air.

“This parade is so cool!” she exclaimed. “Do you see how psyched all those kids are? Staying up late and being given all this free loot? And are those real chickens on the roof of that ancient school bus? You’d never see anything like this in New York. It’s all so… I don’t know…”

“Fun?” James suggested.

“Yes, but without the glitz and glam of a Macy’s parade.” Willow unwrapped a chocolate kiss and popped it in her mouth. “Take the candy, for example. In the city, we’d be looking inside this chocolate for razor blades or white powder. But here, you feel safe. Everything seems more genuine. More pure. I feel like I’d be welcome here no matter how much money I made or what I wore.”

“That part’s true, but we’ve got plenty of crime here too. Trust me,” Lucy countered, and then quickly softened her tone. “But you’re right about the sincerity. I’m glad you were able to see our hillbilly Santa at any rate. After all the years I’ve seen this parade, I still don’t know who he really is.”

“Maybe it’s not a costume.” Bennett winked and nudged Lucy.

At that moment, raised voices could be heard emanating from within Gillian’s house. The supper club members exchanged worried glances, for one of the voices was clearly Gillian’s and she rarely shouted. James could also discern that Milla was yelling at both Paulette and Gillian and wondered whether he should go inside or let the women sort things out for themselves.

Willow must have sensed that James was torn over what course of action to take. She touched his arm lightly and timidly said, “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you. She’ll just turn on you if you’re in her line of fire.”

“But Gillian’s my friend and Milla’s my…” He paused. “Well, Milla is Paulette’s sister. I guess she knows better than anyone how to handle the Diva of Dough.”

Suddenly, Gillian’s screen door was flung open and Paulette strode outside, clinging to the fox-fur collar of her coat. James couldn’t help but notice that the blouse she wore underneath seemed to be covered by some kind of wet stain.

“I’m soaked to the bone!” Paulette raged and turned a pair of angry gray eyes on Willow. “Get my umbrella open, you dolt. I’m already in danger of coming down with pneumonia, no thanks to the liberal, tree-hugging lunatic that owns this house. Milla! I mean it! I’m leaving this minute!”

Without a word to anyone else, Paulette stomped down the stairs. Willow followed a half-step behind, holding a black umbrella covered by gold interlocked Chanel Cs over the Diva’s head.

“I apologize for my sister’s behavior,” Milla said as she and Gillian stepped onto the porch. “I know how much you love animals. I do too, and I had no idea she could be so cruel about them.”

Gillian was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “I’m sorry too. I should never have asked her if that fox fur on her coat was real. If only she hadn’t gone into all that detail about the fur farms and…” She choked back a sob.

Milla squeezed Gillian’s shoulder and then shot an embarrassed glance James’s way. “It was a mistake to come over here-I just wanted Paulette’s first evening to be a positive one, and I knew there’d be good tea and wonderful company here. Oh dear, I hope we didn’t completely tarnish your time together.”

James enveloped his future stepmother in a tight hug. “Don’t worry about it, Milla. You just added more color to a colorful night.”

Milla smiled at him in gratitude and then trotted after her sister.

“What happened in there?” Bennett asked Gillian.

“That woman said such horrible things about the mink and fox fur farms where they get fur coats like hers. She told me how the animals… how they gnaw at their own limbs because they’re so upset to be in such tiny cages.” Gillian sniffed as another tear rolled down her cheek. “She told me she was proud that the fox cub used on her coat had obviously been electrocuted before he could cause any damage to his pelt.” After blowing her nose, Gillian balled the tissue into a tight wad inside her fist.

“Don’t think about it any more,” Lindy stopped Gillian from dwelling on the morbid subject by putting her arm around her sniffling friend and pivoting her toward the front door. “Let’s all go inside for a bit and talk about something else, okay?”

Gillian nodded and allowed Lucy to pick up the tray bearing the teapot and cups.

“Well, you must have done somethin’ to fight back against the Wicked Witch of the North,” Bennett said, searching Gillian’s face. “She left here pretty steamed, so I’d say she didn’t get the last word anyhow.”

“Steamed is right,” Gillian replied and blew her nose with finality. “I poured an entire cup of jasmine pearl oolong tea on her. I thought she might be able to sympathize over the plight of an electrocuted animal if she felt a little heat herself. I knew it wouldn’t burn her. The water hadn’t boiled yet. Still, now I’ve wasted a particularly delicate handful of tea leaves on that fur-wearing monster ! And I cannot stand waste!”

“I just can’t believe that someone who makes such tantalizingly sweet and beautiful cakes can be so, well, sour.” Lucy closed her thermos and went inside.

James was the last one on the porch. He took a brief look down the street, where the school bus had already turned the corner and was heading down Main Street at a steady crawl, and then blinked. For a moment, he was positive that he had seen a small, red elf duct taped to the yellow vehicle’s rear emergency exit door.

“Glowstar?” James called in confusion, and then he shook his head. How could the library’s elf have found his way onto the hillbilly school bus? Who would kidnap their elf and then tape him onto the last vehicle of the Christmas Cavalcade?