Ken Bruen - Her Last Call to Louis MacNeice

I said more to meself, ‘No Ariana.’

He gave me a playful puck to my shoulder. Jesus, I loved that! And said, ‘No more eagles either but is that really such a bad thing.’

I said, ‘She needs help.’

‘Yo… Mister Cooper… didn’t I just run that by you… didn’t I just goddamn park in that space… pay attention… alright.’

And then he was gone.

Of all the things I was doing then, paying attention was definitely not one of them.

I didn’t head for home till late in the evening. Turning from Clapham Road, coming along Ashmole Estate, I saw the fire engines. The entrance to my street was cordoned off but I could see the blaze clearly. My house was in full flame and I thought, ‘Jeez, lucky I removed the guns and ammunition else it’d have taken out at least three firemen.’

I parked and walked towards the police line. A cop said, ‘No passage here Sir, please go round.’

‘That’s my home.’

Standing a piece further down was Noble, the flames reflecting off his face, making it glow. He was wearing the grubby raincoat, turned to greet me, ‘Mr Cooper, come through.’

As if I had a choice. He said, ‘What rotten luck eh, the decorators are hardly out the door. You’re covered I presume.’

‘With wot?’

‘Insurance man! Good heavens, you are insured?’

‘Of course, I’m a citizen.’

‘You’ll be devastated all the same, I can read it in your face.’

His smirk was blatant.

‘As long as it gives heat to the neighbours, can we really call it a total loss.’

He took my arm, whispered, ‘It’s too early to say for sure but it might be deliberate.’

I shook his hand off, said, ‘Don’t be daft.’

‘Ah Mr Cooper, I have many shortcomings, that’s not one I’m prone to.’

‘Who’d torch my house, Noble.’

‘I was hoping you’d answer that.’

‘No idea.’

‘I must say I admire your stoicism. Most people, they’d be in a highly emotional state.’

‘I must be in shock, wouldn’t you say. Drawing on your vast well of human experience, don’t you think.’

‘But the basics. Where will you stay?’

‘Don’t worry about me Noble.’

He moved right into my face, I could smell mints, ‘But I do – you’re almost family, what with the amount of time I think about you.’

‘I’m touched.’

‘And if not now, you will be. You’ll be sorry to hear our Sergeant Quinn had an accident. Come now Mr Cooper, you can’t have forgotten him. I know he thinks of you, if not fondly, at least persistently.’

‘Car accident was it?’

‘Sporting mishap actually.’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, two sports with baseball bats did a number on his legs. What you might term – a bad break.’

‘I didn’t reply but he read my face, said, ‘Ah, you think I’m being facetious… no. You can tell me, strictly off the record, man to man.’

‘OK – I think you’re a prick and a bad bastard to boot. Being a cop you’ve been trained to it but, I think you were born a nasty piece of work.’

He was delighted, leastways his face was all lit up, answered, ‘Good, excellent. I relish frankness and let me reciprocate. I’ve checked up on you, did yer stretch for GBH, a hard man. But I’m gonna have you Cooper, oh yeah. You took out the wrong cop, I’m not so easy.’

‘Hey shithead, if I went after Quinn, I wouldn’t need help.’

‘See, yer hard like I said. Near time for you to go travellin’ – yer mate has fucked yer business, yer home is gone… oh yes, and I’ll be there, count on it.’

I pushed him aside, said, ‘I hope that’s a promise.’

And walked away. I didn’t look at my ex-house, I could feel the heat. Went to the pub and ignored Lisa’s barrage of questions, ‘Was that your house!…’

Got a large Scotch and a corner to sulk.

No way in the world did I believe the fire was an Act of God. Course, I knew He was capable, the evidence was my life but I didn’t think He could be bothered. I tried to remember what Cassie had said in her letter, something about no longer writing to me at that address as I wouldn’t be able to receive mail. Exhibit A for the prosecution, pretty damning. Plus, she was a total friggin’ nutter. Then there was the cops. Capable of anything but I wasn’t convinced. Arson seemed a tad extreme when they’d countless methods to put me in the frame. The jury was out on them. The third possibility was the worst, I really didn’t want to even consider it. Doc.

Ruthless and reckless enough to urge on my doubts about the bank job. He sure needed the cash and, if I had a similar motivation? Yeah, it was possible. I took a long belt of the Scotch and thought about Cassie pushing Laura under the train. Jeez, if Doc knew I was indirectly responsible – fuck, I’d have to shelve that.

I heard, ‘You have the appearance of a man with a new lease of apathy.’

Think of the Doc and the devil appears, or something to that effect. I said, ‘Very quotable, almost deep.’

‘But not me own. Samuel Beckett it was, but at least ’tis the same country. What’s all this about a fire?’

‘Didn’t take long to reach you Doc.’

‘And aren’t you my best mate, curled up in a corner like a whipped dog. Sure they had to call me.’

‘Things are going down the shitter and fast.’

‘You’ll come home with me.’

‘No… no, I don’t think that’s too clever. Noble’s on the prowl and why make it easy for the bastard.’

‘Ah don’t mind him, the scut, he’s like a boy whistlin’ in the dark.’

‘He’s about to blow the flamin’ whistle on me.’

Doc pushed in beside me, put his arm on my shoulder, said, ‘Coop, listen boyo, they still need the oul reliable called evidence and there’s not a bit of it. C’mon, I’ll buy you a pint.’

‘I’ve got to go. I’ll be in touch tomorrow, we’ll finalise the job details, OK.’

He gave me a worried look, ‘Are yah up to it? I mean, have yah the stomach for it now?’

‘Yeah, but the point is, do I want to. What worries me is Noble has minty breath.’

‘So bloody wot?’

‘A man who chews mints is an observer. They miss nothing and their agenda is not what’s on display.’

‘’Ary, you’re reading too much into it. He’s probably covering up the smell of booze.’

I stopped into the 7-Eleven and stocked up on essentials – toothpaste, coffee, milk, soap – siege supplies.

I’d decided to crash in the warehouse for a few days, let the dust settle. Prison teaches you to move in small spaces, to need almost nothing. Before settling on the army cot, I rang Letterman.

‘Yo – talk to me.’

‘David, it’s Cooper.’

‘What’s happenin’ bro’?’

‘My home’s been burned.’

‘And you wanna know is it Cassie, am I right.’

‘There are other candidates, would she risk that.’

‘Oh yeah…’

‘How do I go about finding her?’

‘She’ll find you when she’s ready for the next stage.’

‘Fuck.’

‘That too.’

‘OK, I’ll keep in touch.’

‘Adios amigo.’

Next morning I woke with an aching back and couldn’t figure where I was, said, ‘Jeez, where am I.’

The warehouse looked like shit and I complemented it. Course I’d no razor and the electric kettle went on the blink. Took a cold shower and froze my balls off. Invigorating, they say, which is not the term that sprang instantly to mind. And, I’d need clothes, not to mention a whole new life.

Sat and wrote out the hooker manifesto, had to word it just right. Then rang the number Jim had given me. She was home and arranged a meet for three in the afternoon. Next up was the bank, to withdraw a shit-pile of money. The cashier looked worried but then, that’s what they’re paid for. She said, ‘Excuse me a moment.’